


Gentle Autumn Rain

by alex4968



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alpha Harry, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Dark Plot, Eventual mpreg, First Dates, First Time, Fluff, Inaccuracies, Kidnapping, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Nepotism, Omega Louis, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Slow Burn, Smut, because I don't know how british "fbi" works, detective!harry, failed career attempts, i dont even know if they call it the fbi over there sorry, sort of, therapeutic coping skills
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-18
Updated: 2017-02-25
Packaged: 2018-09-18 07:39:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 57,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9374813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alex4968/pseuds/alex4968
Summary: Louis Tomlinson moved to London with a big heart and a big dream. Harry Styles moved to London, fresh out of the police academy, with the hopes of helping as many people as he could in his eyes. When a deranged alpha forces their paths to cross, their ideas of what is meant to be will never be the same.





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> Plot loosely based off of "Cradle to Grave" from season five of criminal minds. Title from Mary Elizabeth Frye's Poem, "Do not stand at my grave and weep". As usual, unbeta'd and all mistakes are my own. If you find any mistakes or americanized parts of the plot that you feel you can help me change, feel free to drop a comment!
> 
> Notice that the POV changes frequently. I don't usually do that in my writing, but I wanted to give it a shot. Tell me if you love it, hate it, think it's stupid/confusing, etc. I love feedback...! It's just something new.

_Lo! Death has reared himself a throne_  
_In a strange city lying alone_  
_Far down within the dim West,_  
_Where the good and the bad and the worst and the best_  
_Have gone to their eternal rest._

_\- Edgar Allan Poe ; The City In The Sea_

 

HARRY.

“We believe she was shot here, sir.” A beta officer says from the left of Harry, her voice high and annoying in a way Harry hasn’t experienced in a long while. It has a lilt to it, high pitches at the end of her sentence that gives truth to how intimidated she is to be around him, and the airy tone that tells she’s really unsure of what she’s saying. Perhaps she’s just spitting back information she was told, because in just a single glance at the scene, he can already tell this person was not shot.

He doesn’t bother responding to her, but rather looks down at the bright yellow tent with a number seven in bold black written on it. He thinks this should certainly not have received _seventh_ priority – but he also hasn’t seen the rest of the scene, yet, so he doesn’t bother commenting on that. It’s a waste of his energy.

The body was dragged about eight feet in front of him, but it’s clear she was killed here. It wasn’t at the end of a gun, though. The spatter of blood on the car window in front of him would look like a gunshot to any untrained eye, but Harry’s seen far too many crime scenes to fall for that. Along with the two year course in uni that he had to take about the different profiles of blood spatter, but, that’s aside the point. “You see here, how these spots are larger and more oval shaped?”

He points to the spatters, but he brings her attention to three distinct points in particular. Her eyes flick over to them, but the realization doesn’t seem to dawn on her like it did Harry. It’s all right. He doesn’t expect everyone to have his eye.

“U-um, yes.” The woman says.

“This is the kind of spatter that comes from a weapon being swung back and the blood comes from the end of it and specks onto a surface.” He makes the motion with his hands like a bat slinging over his shoulder to make the image more prominent in the woman’s mind. “This is where she was struck initially,” Harry says and motions Zayn over to take another photo. The vision paints itself out in his head, he can practically see it. The killer standing over their victim, the blunt object smashing into her head and then being drawn back. The splatters seem even enough that it was only one hit – one hit full of alpha-like strength. He puts that information to the back of his mind to use later. “Likely with a bat or a pipe, something solid that the killer held in his hands.” He hasn’t yet seen the body up-close, like always, because he likes to get what he can from a scene before he investigates physical evidence on a body.

Each piece, while a part of a whole, tells a story of it’s own that could hold imperitive evidence. It could be easily lost if he didn’t inspect each individually, and he’s been told time and time again that it’s that mindset that gives him his reputation of being able to crack any case.

“Well yes – um – there is blunt force trauma on her –“ Her voice sounds a bit fearful, still, like she’s embarrassed of getting something wrong, but as she tries to recover from her mistake, Harry sighs.

“Would you mind getting Zayn and I some coffee?” He asks, interrupting her. He knows it’s rude. Of course he does. But he has a system, a way he deals with these things that he doesn’t want jeopardized by a young cop who thinks she knows what she’s doing. Her glare doesn’t go unnoticed, but Harry pays no attention to that.

She doesn’t respond, either, instead she just stomps away. Harry really does hope she’s going to get them coffee. It’s not that he’s a rude person – he doesn’t like to think he is – but he just has a slightly awkward way of dealing with things when they aren’t going the way he needs them to. He’s a flexible person in every aspect of his life other than work, but with work he has a solid foundation that he can never let falter.

“That wasn’t nice, H.” Zayn says from behind him with a little sigh. He can feel the disapproving look without even having to glance over at his friend, so he doesn’t bother. He and Zayn are close enough that he’s sure the other alpha knows he isn’t happy about having to be rude.

“I know. But she was about to tell me where that young woman got struck. I don’t need to know that. I’ll know that when I decide to look at the body.” Zayn just sighs again. It’s another way their dynamic just works – they don’t have to keep talking to keep a conversation going. He can pick up on the non-vocal queues that Zayn knows what he’s saying and Zayn can pick up on his queues that they need to just drop the subject.

The flash on the camera goes off again and Harry just smiles.

He pulls on a glove so he can touch at things in the car and opens the door, and he’s immediately met with a rush of omega pheromones. His pupils dilate and he almost coughs, not expecting such a strong scent, as his instincts scream at him to  _protect_ because everything about the car makes him feel the woman’s fear leading up to the hours before her death. “Look at this.”

“Oh, hell.” Zayn says and snaps another picture. He can see the way his eyes react to the smell, too, and he pretends not to notice the way his fists clench. It’s not often that alpha pheromones are obvious to other alphas, but he can smell Zayn’s discomfort and anxiety. The two of them have never dealt with a case like this, and it’s overwhelming in the worst of ways.

It’s a child’s pacifier.

 

They call the dogs in as Harry finally goes to examine the body. No one’s been allowed to touch her until he’s arrived, only able to look at the scene from how it was set up for them. Every detail can change things for Harry – and he’s grateful that the officers in this specific crime unit were competent enough to understand that. There have been plenty of cases where the police who arrived on scene were unwise enough to actually have the body sent to autopsy before he arrived. Examining photos of a scene – especially ones his partner didn’t take – is much harder than examining a scene up close. “Search the area at least six miles each way. Try and find the child’s body.” The k-9 unit leader grimaces at that information. Harry understands.

At the first look, the woman could appear as if she was just sleeping. Her eyes were forcibly closed by her killer – obvious by the way the rest of her facial features are tense – but it still gives the illusion of peace. Her arms were placed over her stomach as if to give the same appearance that she was sleeping.

Beneath her right arm is the first stab wound, and it makes Harry cringe. Not many things in this world can do that to him anymore – after being around death for so many years – but just the sheer anger that is visible through the jagged cuts through the woman’s t-shirt leaves a haunting feeling in his bones.

There’s a plethora of fading bruises all about her arms and a yellowing one on her jawline that leaves an even worse ache inside of Harry’s stomach. Whoever had this girl kept her for quite some time – enough for thick bruises to nearly heal completely. He wonders for a moment if they’ll find the baby’s body or not. The killer likely got rid of the baby within the first few hours of having her and didn’t keep it until her death. He cringes.

There’s nothing in her pockets, no identification or signs of who she was. They’ll have to take dental records before they’re able to contact a family, and that makes him feel even worse. The plates on the car had been removed, too, as well as all of the paperwork within the glove box. Everything is pristine. The identity of this woman was clearly meant to be contained.

He was correct about her having been struck. The right side of the back of her head has a clear indentation in it and it looks like it was made with some sort of tool. Perhaps a wrench. He’s not entirely certain, yet, but he’s picking up on what he can.

“We’re going to need an autopsy.” He says to the detective of the department as he stands, pulls his gloves off.

“Her clothing doesn’t suggest sexual assault – “ He knows it’s unusual for smaller towns like this to have easily accessible pathologist on hand to perform an autopsy, but he doesn’t have enough time to argue over finances. A woman is dead and any clues they can get are imperative.

“I said, we’re going to need an autopsy.” He says with a glare in his eyes and the alpha who tried to challenge him just nods and gets on the phone with whoever they need to be in contact with.

 

Twenty three hours later, they have an ID and more facts that Harry hadn’t seen coming. Laura Hill was her name, married but unmated to Devin Hill. They were a newly married couple who had decided to wait until the both of them were established in their careers before mating. He’s trying to think of how he’s going to break the news to the alpha. It’s always the worst part of his job, explaining to the living that their loved ones are dead. But he can’t even begin to imagine the pain this alpha will experience. He briefly thinks he’s thankful they weren’t mated – if only to spare the alpha the excessive pain that a bond breaking would have caused him.

Devin is in his office only twenty minutes after the call is sent out. His eyes are red rimmed and his scent gives off a clear indication of panic. “Is she okay?” He says, his breathing uneven and labored like he’d been running. He probably had been. As much as Harry wants to say yes, to lie and make everyone involved feel better, he knows he can’t.

“You might want to sit down.” Harry says with genuine sadness in his voice. He sees the look on the alpha’s face before he even has to tell the news – he knows. If she was okay he’d be in a hospital room with her, not in Harry’s temporary office.  “Laura’s body was found early yesterday morning.” The entire energy of the room goes dark. He can practically feel the pain radiating off of the man in front of him. At first, like always, he’d been a suspect. But pheromones are strong and natural, and such an instinctual response almost immediately takes him off of Harry’s list.

Devin curls in on himself and it’s clear he’s trying not to cry. His breathing is short, still, but instead of seeming like he’d been running, it seems now like he’s trying to keep the tears at bay by timing his breathing.

“It’s been –  _god fucking damn it! –_ it’s been a year, agent. Why would this psycho wait a year to kill her?”

“We don’t know yet, Devin. But as soon as we do, you’ll be the first to hear about it, okay?” The other alpha finally cries and Harry stands to give him a box of tissues. He thinks he must have seen this coming, just because he surpassed that first stage of grief. Perhaps he came to terms with his wife’s death quite some time ago.

He does, however, jot down that she was missing for over a year and underlines it three times.

“I know this is an incredibly hard time for you right now, but do you think I could ask you a few questions? Just to get a bit more of a feel of Laura? It could really help catch her killer.”

“Yeah, yes. I want to see this bastard _rot_.” Harry nods. He’d normally never encourage such destructive behaviour, but it’s only natural for an alpha to want something terrible to happen to anyone who touches their omega.

“Was Laura home alone often?”

“No, almost never. We worked the same shifts, practically. She always left twenty minutes before I did, and then she was home about a half hour before me. That’s pretty much the only time she’s ever – she ever was – home without me.” Harry writes that down on his yellow notepad.

“Can I have a brief outline of your weekly schedule?”

“We both worked Monday through Friday, nine to five. Just like any other couple. We were both one year out of uni. I had a decent job at the ER, she worked at the library.”

“You _had_ a job?”

“Yes.” The alpha says with a sigh. “After Laura disappeared I guess I kind of… lost it, a bit. I spent all of my time searching for her, thinking every brown haired, skinny omega was her from behind. I got sent home on medical leave.” Harry makes an understanding noise and writes that down as well.

“Did Laura have any people who she didn’t like? Who didn’t like her?”

“No! She’s just – she’s so social and wonderful. She was the kind of person who would light up any room she walked in to.” A few more tears fall down the alpha’s face and Harry sighs out of empathy. There are some pains that only time can heal, no matter how much he wants to help.

“All right. I have one last question and I know this is going to hurt but… As far as you know, was Laura pregnant when she went missing?” The sobs from the alpha are enough of a  _no_ that Harry needs.

 

He’s alone in his office a few hours later, a full, new pot of coffee brewing on his desk. He’d had to call Laura’s parents as well, shortly after Devin left, and had to console them as well. Telling the families is always the hardest part – but telling the families of an omega is always so much harder. There’s always so much room for  _should haves_ when an omega is murdered.

It’s terrible.

Omegas have only had this level of political freedom in the world for a few decades, and most of the parents he ends up calling all mention that – mention that they wish things were still how they were in the seventies, when omegas had to be escourted and didn’t need jobs. Harry doesn’t agree, and he doesn’t think any of the parents _really_ mean it, but he knows where they’re coming from.

 

He gets up and goes to find Liam. Liam is his anaysist – the man who works through the photographs and helps Harry decode things that maybe he wouldn’t have caught. Liam’s really the brains, he thinks, no matter how much the other alpha disagrees. “Harry, you should go get some sleep.” The other alpha says as soon as he finds him and Harry sighs softly. “I know how you get when a case means something to you, but you’re only going to be able to do your best and find this fucking creep if you’re well rested.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” He says with a gentle smile and Liam returns the gesture. Sleep is something Harry does often forgo when he’s working a case. He hates sleeping when there’s a killer on the lose – likely searching for his next victim.

“Try and head in before one am, all right?” It’s a compromise Harry can work with.

“All right.” Harry says and nods. He’s Liam’s boss, technically, but Liam’s always been something of a brother to him. Even throughout uni. Liam was older, but he didn’t judge Harry for being in the same classes as him despite being younger.

Liam pats his shoulder before he heads off in the other direction, heads down the stairwell to get back to his hotel room.

Zayn was actually the first of all of them to get through his masters, and then he’d started working on his PhD the year he and Liam were about to graduate. He thinks that might be why all three of them are so close – they all bonded in a similar environment, all surrounded by the same passion of wanting to help people and maybe save the world one day.

He tries not to think of his friends and forces his head to go back to the space he gets in when he’s thinking about a case. His office smells strongly of coffee and he wishes he could have picked his own, instead of the little box with a window that doesn’t open. His office at HQ has floor to ceiling windows, as it’s on the top floor, and they even open so he can ventilate the strong smell of his constant-brewing coffee pot.

He leaves the room and decides to head downstairs to let the security guard know he’s going to stick around for a while. It’s not necessary, never has been, but it’s just common courtesy.

“So, our killer gets this girl pregnant,” He starts to himself as soon as the elevator dings and he steps inside, “She has his baby, and then he kills her?” It doesn’t really make any sense, but he still stares at what he has.

He lets the guard know and he gives a friendly smile. He heads to the conference room next, stares at the big board where their evidence will soon go.

So far, all the white board has is Lauren’s head shot, one of her alive and well, blue eyes and brown hair wisped to the left by the wind. Then it has a photo of her dead, laying in the spot they’d found her, followed by the results from her autopsy.

Her hair was all cut off during the time of her abduction. What had once been long, flowing almost down her entire back, was cut especially short on the sides but kept long on the top. The clothing she had been dressed in gave her more of a masculine – albeit feminine masculine – touch. The only thing Harry could think of was that their killer was trying to recreate someone. There would be no other reason to so dramatically change someone’s appearance.

It had clearly been months since her and the killer had had sex, as there was no sexual evidence exposed from the autopsy. There was a clear trace of drugs in her system, but it was only recent. During the one year time frame, as told by her hair strands, the only time she’d been given any kind of drugs was in the last two months.

So, the pregnancy had happened in the very early months of her being kidnapped, which signals a motive. After her disappearance, she’d completely fallen off the grid, otherwise Harry wouldn’t have considered the pregnancy such a prominent part of this case.

Every single one of her family members had said she got cabin fever within a few days of being stuck at home, so being indoors for an entire  _year_ willingly just wasn’t a part of her personality. He sighs as he stares at the board for another moment, then he decides it’s time to go to his hotel. He’s drawing a blank, and maybe sleeping will make him think of something he’s not seeing while awake.

 

His hotel room doesn’t bring much for him, instead, he just thinks about it more. If an alpha kidnapped a young female omega with the intent to get her pregnant, why would he kill her two months _after_ she gave birth? Why wouldn’t he just kill her right after the baby was born? It doesn’t make any sense and it’s all too much for Harry to process.

He thinks maybe he should call his mum, but it’s far too late for that.

He does it anyway.

It goes to voicemail, but he secretly appreciates leaving voicemails. “Hi, mum. I’m um, I’m working on a kind of tough case right now and it’s made me want to call you. Nothing’s wrong and I probably won’t be able to talk when you call me back in the morning,” He chuckles softly, “But I just wanted to call you and tell you I love you. Tell Gemma I love her too. See you soon.” He hangs up after that and lays down on the hotel bed. He always calls his mum when it’s girls who die on cases. It’s an insecutiry he’s had ever since he started working this field. His mum and sister are the faces he sees in some of the victims and it scares him more than anything. So he calls them often, just to make sure if anything were to happen that they know he loves them. He fears that, too. If he were to ever leave them in a bad mood and something happened to him or one of them, that that would be the last thing they would see from each other.

He wants a glass of whiskey more than anything, but instead he forces himself to sleep.

 

The next day comes and goes with a bit of a blur. No new evidence, nothing with the profile. “There’s not a single trace of DNA here.” Liam says with a frustrated groan. “It’s like he wrapped himself up in cling wrap before he ever even interacted with the victim.” When Liam comes up with nothing, it usually means that there truly is nothing to be found.

Harry just sighs. Their case is going cold.

 

A week later, there’s still nothing. They have a few ideas of what  _might_ be – but there’s nothing certain. They can’t solve a case off of maybes. So they go to the public.

It’s risky, and he knows that. He knows that going to the public could anger their killer and make him strike again, or worse, it could make him lash out and change his motive. But it’s their only chance, he thinks, at seeing justice for Lauren Hill.

So that’s how he finds himself standing in front of a news set, six microphones in front of him, as he speaks. “This killer is an alpha, likely between the ages of eighteen and twenty five. He’s very clean. Anyone who interacts with him will notice this habit; his cleanliness isn’t from politeness, it’s from some kind of obsession.” They’d gotten this fact from the scrubbing scars on Lauren’s body. It was clear she’d been cleaned with a thick bristled brush at least a few dozen times during her abduction. “He is likely unemployed, or if he does have a job any time he isn’t working is spent at home. Especially in this last year. He has an obsession with children and babies. He might smell of an omega but won’t ever disclose any information about said omega.” That’s really all they have. He’s not sure if there’s anything else they can do. “If you know anyone like this, please call the bureau at 555-987-5476.”

 

They get no relevant tips, after that. Usually they’ll get about three hundred “tip” calls and only one will be relevant – but even just one can make or break their case. Instead, they get eleven.

All of them are empty leads.

The case goes cold and Harry and his team are sent home. It’s such a rare thing to happen to them – to not be able to find anything from one body. He hates that idea – he hates it more than anything that they’re not going to be able to come back until there’s another body and another family in pain. But this killer is clever and he isn’t sure what else they could do if they stayed.

 

 

 

LOUIS.

Louis sets a pineapple on his cashier’s scale and waits the normal five seconds for it to read the weight. The first thing he really notices is that it’s an abnormally small pineapple, and why anyone would even bother buying this instead of just getting a can of pre-cut fruit astounds him. Perhaps that’s the lazy side of his brain speaking, or maybe it’s the logical side. He honestly doesn’t normally judge the customers that come through his queue, but there are times like this when he can’t help it.

The second thing he thinks is why the  _hell_ would anyone come out and get this many groceries at six in the morning? It’s much too early to do heavy duty shopping. The most he’s ever come out and gotten this early in the morning was a new bag of coffee when he and his flat mate had run out and it was his turn to buy. This seems more of a six at night kind of task, but it’s not his job to judge.

The beta woman in front of him looks annoyed and tired, though, so he decides not to say anything. She’s clutching a cup of coffee in her hand and there’s a brown eyed little baby sitting in the child’s seat of her trolley. The baby looks abnormally awake and high spirited, and he wishes he could be that alert this early in the morning.

There’s something about betas, though, that has always made him jealous. Maybe it’s the fact that this woman could look like any other beta woman who walks through here and he wouldn’t really ever know the difference. Or maybe it’s just because he can’t smell her, so she doesn’t catch his attention. Maybe it’s because she can just have children whenever she wants, instead of her body telling her that it wants a child every month with a heat.

Betas are strange creatures, really. Well, at least that’s what he’s raised himself up to think.

His mother would probably scold him for being so judgemental, but he can’t really help it. It’s what he does – it’s what all omegas do, even if she doesn’t want to admit it. Their bodies were designed to be intuitive, their minds made to notice things the other two genders likely wouldn’t becaue they’re meant to be homemakers. He doesn’t much like to think about that, because it sounds sexist and like an anti-omega-rights-campaign, but there’s a difference between acknowledging and judging.

So.

He just bags up her items and sets the bags on the edge of the table. “That will be 84,5.” She makes a face that Louis still doesn’t bother to acknowledge and sighs as she sets the money down on the counter instead of into his already waiting, outstretched hand. The little things really do make his stomach churn. Some people really do just grind on his nerves in ways he can’t really explain.

Once he hands back her change, she takes much too long to get her things in order and walk away so Louis can serve the next woman standing behind her, but he doesn’t say anything. He really can’t afford to lose his job. It’s bad enough that he and his best mate Niall have to share a one-bedroom flat between the two of them, but it would be even worse if he was unemployed. Niall would probably kick him out, then he’d have to drag his sorry arse back to Donny and tell his mother she was right.

Moving to London to chase his dream of being an actor really wasn’t his wisest decision. But he refuses to admit defeat, so he works his days at the shoppe and then scours the internet every night to find any gig he can manage.

“Good morning.” The woman says from the other side of the counter and places a carton of eggs and a jug of milk on his counter. She has brown eyes, light and swirly as they catch the cun shining through the windows of the store. He’s always had a love for brown eyes, hated the way that people have such a bias against them.

“Good morning.” Louis says with a bright smile. He loves kind customers. Especially old ones. They remind him of his grandparents. “That’ll be 12 pounds, ma’am.” He says and she places the money into his outstretched hand. It’s the little things that count, really.

“Would you mind helping me carry these out? My hands shake terribly and I don’t want to drop anything.” He looks around the store. It’s dead inside. There’s one other lane open and Stan looks bored as he plays around on his phone, so he nods. London doesn’t usually wake up until half eight, so he doesn’t think it would matter if he stepped out for a few minutes. It’s prime time for him to have a smoke break, too. (It’s the perk of being a shift leader, he thinks. He gets to choose when he goes out on break.)

“I’ll be right back, Stan! I’m just gonna help her carry these out.”

“Yeah, hurry back! I’m swamped!” Stan says back with a laugh in his voice and Louis places the bag in his hand. He holds the door open for the woman and walks her out through the parking lot. She walks very slow – or more like hobbles, really – but Louis is patient. He’s never been impatient with elderly people or children. Only middle aged people. It’s the ones who seem to have every right to complain that never do, so he’s always been fond of elderly people.

“Is this your car?” He asks when the woman stops in front of a little, blue sedan. The windows are tinted dark and it has a scratch in the side of the door, but other than that it looks rather new. Louis’ never met an old woman with a new car, but he doesn’t think about that. It really isn’t his job to judge.

“Yes.” She smiles softly and presses the unlock button. He opens the passenger side door and sets the bags down. “Thank you so much for your help.”

“You’re very welcome.” He says with a smile – but it drops the second he turns around. There’s a tall alpha standing right behind him. Normally, he would have been able to smell an alpha that close to him, but he hadn’t this one, and it makes his heart race. The woman is sitting in the driver’s side of her car already and even if she wasn’t she’s too old to really be able to help him. He doesn’t _need_ help, he thinks, alphas get like this all the time, but it’s uncomfortable. Always uncomfortable. He’s somewhat used to creepy alphas trying to corner him – but this is weird. It feels different.

“Excuse me.” He says and goes to push past the alpha, but he doesn’t budge. The car is parked very close to the yellow line adorning the pavement on the ground, so there isn’t enough room for him to squeeze by the alpha, and he knows that he wouldn’t be strong enough to shove him out of the way.

“I’m going to need you to be a good boy and get in the car, hm?” Now Louis is shaking. His hands are trembling and his heart is pounding, but he isn’t going to show it. There’s a van parked beside the woman, tall and white and clearly blocking any way of him signalling for help from inside of the store.

“I really need to get back to work, actually.” He says, an attempt to sound confident but his voice is shaking. “If you’ll please excuse me –“ He tries again, goes to push past the alpha for a second time, but he’s stopped with a loud growl and a hand grabbing his shoulder.

“Get in the car.” He doesn’t move. His entire body is frozen – fight or flight, he thinks – and he’s greeted with the sight of the long end of the barrel of a gun. He whimpers as the alpha opens the back door of the car and shoves him inside, his head nearly hitting the plastic end of the opposite dooe, then sits beside him. He goes to reach for the handle on the other door, grabs it and pulls, but it’s child locked. The alpha growls again and it makes Louis’ body tense instinctually. He’s got gloves on his hands, like he came here with the  _intent_ to do this, and he takes Louis’ name tag off. As soon as it’s off, he places it into the front pocket of his suit shirt. “Put your seatbelt on.” The gun is still in his hand, so Louis complies.

He really, _really_ doesn’t want to die. It’s one thing when he jokes about with his friends and complains and says he wouldn’t mind dying, but being in the grip of death’s hands, it’s terrifying. He doesn’t want this to be it. He hasn’t called his mum in over two weeks and hasn’t seen her face in months and he doesn’t want this to be the end. He doesn’t want to die at nineteen and he certainly doesn’t want to die before his life has really even begun.

He has nothing on him, either. His wallet and phone are in his jacket, folded up in his cubby where he places all of his things before each of his shifts at the store. His heart is pounding and he thinks he might drop into his  _space_ soon if he doesn’t calm down.

Omega space can be very dangerous if an omega isn’t surrounded by familiar alphas. Dropping too far can lead to a coma, and if that’s not medically reversed within a few hours, he’ll die. He doesn’t want to die. So he forces himself to breathe deeply and try and think straight.

The old woman who he’d been kind enough to help is driving the car as they go down the motor way, and he thinks that’s why he feels so sick. “I think I’m going to be sick.” He says to the alpha captor whose eyes widen at this news. He grabs one of the grocery bags with the milk in it and hands it to Louis.

He throws up twice inside of it.

Perhaps it’s a bit of a blessing and a curse that the alpha didn’t just let him sick all over himself – maybe he’d have kicked him out if he had. Or maybe he would have just had to suffer in it until he dies.

What a terrible way to die, he thinks.

The alpha rubs his back and Louis tenses at the touch. His hands are large and unfamiliar and Louis wants nothing more than to get as far away from the touch as he can. “It’s all right, love. We’ll be home soon.” The alpha says to him and he throws up again. As soon as he does the alpha tells the elderly woman to pulls over and he tosses the bag over a bridge into what Louis assumes to be a body of water. The name tag goes with it. His breathing is still rapid the rest of the ride, but his stomach is completely empty.

There will be no evidence of what happened to him.

His mum will outlive her first born.

He won’t get to see the twins go through primary school.

No one will know who took him.

The big car his captor had parked in front of hid him from the cameras easily, and the woman who he’d walked out with would be easily disregarded as a suspect. Niall won’t be home to call the police about his disappearance until well passed two in the morning, when he gets home from the pub, and even then he probably won’t. Louis is usually long passed asleep by then and Niall rarely bothers him when he’s sleeping.

Stan likely won’t tell anyone of his disappearance. His friend gets off in only an hour, having worked the grave yard shift, so no one will even know he went missing abruptly.

He’s scared.

He’s terrified and confused and he just wants to go home. He wants this all to be some terrible dream and wake up in his bed and maybe go watch a film. He pinches his arm and tries not to cry when the jolt of pain confirms that he is, in fact, very awake.

It’s three hours and nineteen minutes before the car pulls to a complete stop. Louis had been staring out the windows, hoping he could find his way back home if he were to escape, but every once and a while he would glance at the clock on the dashboard of the front seat.

“We’re home.” The alpha says with a bright smile. The gun is still in his hand as they pull into a garage and the door closes behind the car. “Let’s go inside.” Louis doesn’t move to take his seatbelt off, his hands are still frozen in place. The alpha coos and it makes Louis’ stomach twist. “I know you’re tired from such a long day at work, love. I’ll carry you.”

“N-no. It’s all right. I’m okay.” He doesn’t want to be touched, but at the rejection the alpha’s eyes darken.

“I said I’ll carry you.” Louis whimpers again but the alpha pays no attention, instead he just undoes the belt holding Louis in place and scoops him up into his arms. Louis feels sick and unsure and everything is scary.

Maybe the worst part is that the house looks completely normal. It’s not scary at all. There’s pictures on the walls and candles that look like they’ve been recently lit, there’s a dog bed pushed up in the corner of the living room and two couches, a tv, and the walls are painted a very light shade of blue.

The alpha carries him down the stairs and as he sees the pictures, he wants to throw up again. It’s the same alpha in many of the pictures and there’s a boy with him. He and the boy look oddly similar – blue eyes and quiffed brown hair – and Louis wants to scream. He feels sick again, but all he manages are a few dry gags.

The basement is nearly entirely refurbished, but at the very far corner is what looks to be a large cage. His breathing gets faster and he suddenly starts struggling. Tears pool at the bottoms of his eyes and the reality punches him right in the gut. Maybe before he could have pretended this wasn’t happening – maybe he could have lived with the reality and just struggled through until he died. But no – he can’t – he can’t handle small spaces. Gun be dammed, he thinks as he thrashes. There are tears streaming down his face as it gets closer and he manages to push himself out of the alphas arms and falls to the ground.

It wasn’t his wisest decision, he realizes, when he hits the ground and the air is knocked out of his lungs. He tries to take a breath, but his lungs don’t want to cooperate and the ceiling above spins. He coughs loudly as he gasps for air. “Oh, sweetie. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to drop you.” The alpha frowns and picks him up again, completely ignoring the fact that Louis had struggled away from him. Louis is still gasping for air and it doesn’t end until he’s laid on his back on a bed.

The cage door closes behind him as he catches his breath.

“I’ll come fetch you for dinner soon. I set out some clothes for you. They’re new, so I hope you like them.” The alpha says from the other side of the bars. It feels like he’s going to be crushed, like the walls are closing in on him and there’s no escape. The walls will come together and crush him to pieces while there’s no escape.

He screams.

 

Screaming does nothing. He screams for what feels like hours, but he gets nothing out of it. The alpha doesn’t come back down to the basement, no police car lights shine through the windows, nothing. The only thing that happens is he gets a sore throat and mostly loses his voice. His throat feels raw and torn up from the inside out, but screaming feels like the only thing he can do, the only thing that could possibly earn him an escape.

He’s still shaking by the time there are no more screams left inside of him. The walls haven’t closed in on him, but he thinks the other side might be worse. He brings his knees to his chest and curls in on himself, leans back against the headboard and cries again.

 

He hears footsteps on the stairs and he shuffles back to the edge of the cage. His back touches the bars behind him as the alpha comes down and sees him. “Hello, love.” He sounds cheery and bright. Louis wants to kill him. “You didn’t change.” His voice changes considerably in the single sentence, enough to send a shiver down Louis’ spine. “Change.” He suddenly feels cornered, except this time it was his own choice. He was told to change and didn’t.

He shakes his head and the alpha crosses his arms. “Fine. I’ll do it myself.” He comes towards the door and Louis panics. His eyes widen and he jumps to stand up, grabs the clothes between his fists.

“No, no. I’m sorry. I’ll do it.” His voice is so hoarse he doesn’t think this alpha can even hear him, but he clearly does. It hurts to talk and he tastes blood as soon as the words pass his lips, but the alpha doesn’t seem to care.

“No. You made your decision, sweetheart.” The pet name makes him shiver. The alpha opens the door and Louis’ sudden, instinctual reaction is to run. He doesn’t think it through, doesn’t consider the fact that the alpha is much faster than him and knows his own home better than Louis ever would, but the only thing he can think is _run run run._

So he does.

He pushes past the alpha and runs towards the stairs. He takes two at a time, forces himself up and towards the door at the top. He gets half way there before there’s a sharp pain in his leg and he topples down right onto the wood of the stairs. He hits his head, he thinks, because the last thing he notices before the darkness takes over his vision is the alpha taking him back into his arms.

 

 

When he wakes, there’s another omega beside him. The bed is a good size, probably a queen or bigger, and the other male omega is clearly sleeping. He hadn’t realized how large their little cage was, before. He’d been too caught up in his claustrophobic panic that he’d imagined it was more like the size of a dog cage, but it’s just under half the size of his old bedroom at home.

Home.

He can’t think about that and instead turns to look at the omega. It’s a terrible, disgusting thought when he thinks he’s happy he’s not alone. He should feel awful for thinking it, but he doesn’t. Any kind of company is welcome.

Louis suddenly feels the bile rising back in his throat when he realizes how similar they really look, though. The other omega is just taller by probably five or six inches.

The sun is still up – so he couldn’t have been asleep for too long – and there’s two tablets of what he assumes are pain relievers sitting on a napkin on his pillow. He swallows them dry when the ache in his head throbs with any kind of movement.

He’s got a handcuff around his wrist now and it’s attached to the bar to his left, and when he tugs on it and the metal against metal screech sounds through the silent room, the other omega wakes up.

He doesn’t look surprised. “Listen to me,” He whispers. His eyes look tired, yet alert all the same. He must be used to waking suddenly. Louis is scared. “You need to just – do as he says.” A cough. The other omega winces and swallows, then continues to speak. “He wants to have a baby and if you can’t give that to him, he’ll kill you.”

“What?”

“He wants a baby. Lauren almost did – she almost gave him what he wanted. But it died two months after it was born.” The boy shudders. “If you can give him what he wants, you’ll save other omegas from this fate.”

“Can you not give birth?” He asks. It almost sounds accusing, but the other omega doesn’t wince. He knows what he said and he’s sure the other omega knows what he’s telling Louis to do is equally as bad.

“Stress made me miscarry three times. Tonight’s my last night here.” The omega seems calm enough about his soon to be death. It’s terrifying. “I know it’s an incredible sacrifice, and you didn’t know Lauren and you won’t really get a chance to know me, but for us, try and give him a baby. If you get out of here, my name is David Dundrey.”

Louis is crying again and the other omega just stares at the roof.

“Oh, and one more thing.”

“Yeah?”

“Please don’t tell my parents what he did to us.” That makes Louis feel like he could collapse in on himself. He thinks he’s having a panic attack, then, as the air refuses to come to his lungs and his vision won’t focus and he feels like he’s about to die. He might, he thinks, if he can’t give this complete stranger something he’s never really wanted.

David puts his hand over the top of Louis’, then squeezes softly. Louis still can’t breathe, takes shallow breathes and feels exactly as he had when he’d had the breath knocked out of him, but as David’s hand is on top of his and his other hand strokes through his hair, he calms a bit.

 

He doesn’t sleep at all. The sun goes down and it comes back up – but Louis just watches and doesn’t let himself fall back asleep. The bed is comfortable – oddly enough – and the only thing about the entire place that reminds him he’s trapped are the bars surrounding him and the ache in his arm from the unnatural angle created by the handcuff. Otherwise, he thinks, this might be an okay way to die. He’s not sleeping on a concrete floor and he’s not chained like a dog (even if he is chained).

He needs to just be grateful for the little things – like customers putting change in his hand. If he focuses on the good things, no matter how few and how little, he might be able to survive. Might be able to save other omegas from this fate.

He wants to ask questions to the omega lying beside him – he wants to ask advice and see if there’s anything he’s done to find a way out and he wants to see if there’s any way he could possibly get out of this – but he’s sleeping. Has been for several hours. Louis doesn’t really blame him, though. He thinks if he knew he was going to die within the next few hours, he wouldn’t want to be awake to face the reality, either.

The alpha comes down a while later, when Louis’ eyes are tear tracked and he’s too scared to really think straight. “You’ll be okay.” David whispers to him and Louis jumps – he’d thought he was asleep. David smiles, though, and it seems to serene and like he’s entirely ready to die, so Louis really has a hard time feeling too terrible about watching him go. He knows the omega had seen it coming, knows he was ready, but it feels wrong.

The alpha pulls a little baggie from his pocket and David blinks up at him when a little white pill is presented. The omega opens his mouth without any hesitancy and the alpha presses the pill against his tongue, then picks David up into his arms and gives a little look to Louis. He can’t read it, though, so he just stays put. “I’ll be back soon. Try and get some rest.”

He hopes that pill puts him to sleep so he doesn’t have to feel anything.

David is gone, then, carried up the stairs and away from the world. Louis thinks he should pray, but he doesn’t think God can hear him through the walls of his new prison. He can’t right? Not if he would let this happen.

 

 

HARRY.

Harry’s half way through the third Fast and Furious movie when his work phone goes off. That phone very, very rarely goes off on his days off, so when it does, he answers it immediately. “Styles.” Is his usual greeting, and the person on the other end wastes no time with formalities.

“Agent Styles, I’m so sorry to call you so late –“ It’s eight pm, he thinks for a moment. That’s not late in his world. “But we have another body and another missing person’s case. We think they might be connected to the Lauren Hills case.” His entire body tenses up. It’s been almost three months since he’s heard anything about the case, and it makes his stomach boil with anger. He doesn’t _want_ another omega missing and he certainly didn’t want this sick fucker to be able to kill another.

“Email me the information and I’ll get my team together.” He hangs up on the person on the other end after that, slams his phone down on his bedside table and fishes his computer out and starts it up. There’s nothing else to say, but ten minutes later his computer is out and he’s sorting through the email.

The next body has the same features. It’s a male this time, but the same bright blue eyes and brown hair cut in the same way. He dials up Liam’s phone number quickly.

“Hi, Harry.” Liam says on the other end after five rings. He knows he was probably in bed with Sophia and he sounds tired. “What’s going on?”

“The Lauren Hill case. It’s active again.” Liam chokes a bit, a sputtering sound on his end of the phone and he sounds much more alert when he responds. It’s close to the reaction Harry wanted to have, and he knows it effects Liam more than it does him, if only because he’s mated to an omega, feels a stronger protection over them than Harry does. He can imagine how hard it is for Liam to hear that another one is dead.

“What happened?” He asks and his voice has that lilt of anxiety that Harry has learned to recognize over the years of their friendship. It’s almost sad that he’s heard it in Liam’s voice enough to know it, but he knows it very well.

“There’s another body. Same eye color. Same hair cut. And there’s another boy missing. Louis Tomlinson. Same eye color, similar haircut, but prior to abduction this time.” Liam’s breath catches and Harry understands. “They’re all omegas. Tomlinson is the youngest, he’s nineteen. None of them mated.”

“We need to go out tonight, then.” Liam sounds certain and Harry agrees. “Get our flight ready, I’ll call Zayn.” The line goes dead after that and Harry calls their pilot. He prays they can figure it out this time – that another omega won’t have to go missing and end up dead before they can get this disgusting alpha behind bars.

He hates that they had to wait for someone else to die before they could crack the case, hates that they couldn’t have just caught this creepy fuck the first time, but it’s all in the job. If two omegas had to die but they can save who-knows-how-many more, he can’t complain too much. He wishes no one had to die, but if no one died, serial killers would just be running about with the rest of them.

He has to keep his mind on the positive things, or else he won’t survive this job.

 

The scene is almost identical to the previous, just missing a few things.

The man is placed on his back, arms crossed over his stomach where there’s the same, angry knife mark. There’s no blood spatter this time, though, and the car is missing. He thinks maybe Lauren’s car could be used to track down this man, because her car had turned up with her body. But when this omega had gone missing, he didn’t have a car. The resemblance is wild. Perhaps the first girl had struggled as she was about to die and that was why she’d been hit, but this boy’s face isn’t even tense. He looks like he really is just _sleeping._ Harry has the urge to just shake him, to make sure he isn’t going to wake up.

If he wasn’t so pale, lips blue with the lack of oxygen, Harry thinks he just might.

Zayn takes a few dozen pictures before the body is moved and taken to be given an autopsy. Harry feels more defeated and unsure than he ever has. They have a flimsy motive and they have some kind of profile, but it’s nothing to go off of.

His body is wrapped up in a white bag as he’s taken to get an autopsy.

 

“David Dundrey.” Harry says when the dental records come back. “Liam, get me a full report on him.” Liam nods and IMs their technical analyst, Lou. She gets back to him almost immediately.

David had been single, unlike Lauren, and uneducated. He’d dropped out in the middle of his A-Levels and wound up living in his parents basement until the year previous when he’d found a job and a flat share working at the local bowling alley. Also unlike Lauren. It seems that the only reference point between victims is their appearance. Blue eyes, brown hair, thin frame. That’s nothing they can really go off of and it’s such a broad physical description of omegas that they can’t go to the media and warn the public without causing a panic. It’s so frustrating.

“Now get me everything there is to know about Louis Tomlinson. I want to know what he had for breakfast the morning he was abducted.” It’s a slight bit of humor and it’s all Harry can do to keep the mood light between his team.

“He’s a shift manager at a supermarket. Single. Lives with his friend Niall Horan. He’s close with his family; his mum has called about forty times in the last six hours. Omega. Blue eyes, brown hair. His normal hair cut is very close to what our unsub has been cutting his victim’s hair to look like, though. He had a crispy crème donut the morning he was abducted, paid with his card.”

Nothing of that really helps Harry out.

“I need a map of the area.” He says to another agent and within five minutes theres a map spread out over a wall, thumb tacked up. He presses a red tac into each place that the omegas had been abducted. No pattern seems to come out of it, but each of them are outside of Manchester. “Our unsub probably lives in Manchester.” He says and connects the three dots on the map with a marker, drawing a circle around the area. “He probably thinks the case has gone cold and that we aren’t on him anymore, so we need to keep quiet. We need to save this one.”

Everyone agrees silently. There’s something especially evil about an alpha going against everything in their nature and killing an omega. It’s something Harry hadn’t ever even thought possible. He’s seen other omegas kill omegas and he’s seen betas do it, too, but an alpha is something he’s never seen before.

It’s wrong on levels he can’t even really comprehend.

“Was David drugged at all?”

“In the last two weeks, yes.” Liam says, the autopsy report still in his hands. “There’s a lot of Xanax in his samples. Probably to keep him calm in the final days. It’s different from Lauren, though, because he had a high sample in his blood at the time of death and Lauren didn’t. She was last drugged within three to five days before death, but David was drugged only hours before death.” It’s a terrible thing to say, but Harry knows he’s right.

“You’re probably right, but look at his facial expressions in these photos.” Harry points to the post-mortem photos hung on the board. There’s none of the tense muscles that had been seen in Lauren’s. He looks relaxed and it’s clear his eyes were shut naturally. He didn’t fight his death, which explains the lack of the blow mark on his head, all like he’d predicted. “He looks like he was ready, like there was some kind of time limit on his life.”

 “Do you think he could have been in omega space when he died?” Liam asks.

“No, I don’t think so. There’s still color in his finger nails in these photos. It’s clear he was still eating well up until the last day of his life, which wouldn’t have been possible if he was in omega space.”

“Did the family call back yet?”

“Yes, his mother and father will be down shortly.”

“How about Louis Tomlinson’s contacts?”

“Niall Horan and his mother will be down in about an hour.” Liam nods. This case is turning out to be much harder than he’d ever thought it was going to be.

 

“I’m so sorry.” Harry says to the sobbing omega mother sitting across from him. The alpha father’s jaw is tensed, clearly trying to conceal his emotions. He thinks, for a moment, that that’s brave. When an alpha and omega are bonded, the alpha’s emotions can easily go to the omega.

“Why? Why is this happening?” The woman nearly screams and it makes Harry’s head spin. An omega in distress is something he was trained to handle when he was in the academy, but it still phases him a bit every time. “Why did it have to happen to our son?”

“We don’t know yet, ma’am.” He says with a sad look. “But as soon as we do, you’ll hear about it, all right?”

“Do you have any leads to catch this sick fuck?” The alpha father asks and Harry – well, he’s glad it’s finally taken a turn to something he can actually handle. Emotions have never been his strong suit.

“We think we do, yes. He’s just kidnapped yet another omega, and we’re hoping we can catch him because of that.” The  _before this one dies, too_ goes unsaid, but he knows they both hear it. “Do you think I could ask you a few questions about David? It could really help us get a better lead.”

“I’m going to step out.” The mother says but the father stays put.

“Yes. I’ll answer everything I can.”

“All right. Can you give me a brief run down of David’s daily schedule?”

“David didn’t do a whole lot. When he was eleven he was diagnosed with liver disease and placed on a transplant list, but when he was thirteen, he was taken off of the list because the doctors said that his body would just infect the new liver, too. He wasn’t um, he wasn’t expected to live beyond his fifteenth birthday.” Harry frowns. He wishes there was a way to console him. “He moved out about a year ago, mostly funded by us, but he just wanted to have the chance to live on his own before he died. He knew it was coming, anyhow. He’d tell us all the time how he’d go to bed sometimes and not really expect to wake up, some kind of omegas intuition. But then he turned twenty and we thought – we thought maybe the doctors were wrong and we’d get to keep him forever, you know? But um, I suppose this is fate’s way of catching up with our luck.” He’s crying again and Harry doesn’t know what to do. He hands over his box of tissues. “Right, sorry, his schedule. Um, he was always up to watch the sunrise, even though he never had to be at work until noon. He only worked four hour shifts three days a week, and every other day he volunteered. He was almost always busy.” The alpha sniffles. “He’d come home for dinner every night, since he only lived just down the road. Then he’d go home and repeat the process the next day.”

 

All three omegas, according to the family and friends, have specific, set schedules that they follow every day. None of them were ever alone for long periods of time. Laura was the only one with a higher education. None of them were mated. He sighs as he reads through those sentences printed on the yellow notepad paper in his own writing over and over.

He stares at the pictures on the board again before – wait. He picks up his cell phone and dials up Lou. “Hey, boss.” She says, voice chirpy and happy like always. “What can I do ya for?”

“I need a search on omega deaths, likely natural or accidental, in the last five years.” He hears typing on the other end.

“All right, there are a lot of results. How should I narrow it?”

“Blue eyes, dark hair, somewhere between 5’2 and 5’7.”

“Ten results.”

“Send me everything on them, please.”

“Got it.” Then the line goes dead and his tablet lights up with a newly received email. He’s got such a great team.

 

 

LOUIS.

When the alpha returns, his stomach is growling and his mouth is dry. He feels like he might pass out at any time, even if he’s laying down. It’s been years since he’s gone an entire day without eating – and he really wishes he wouldn’t have passed Niall up on that sandwich before he’d left for work. He misses Niall already, and he really just hopes that he’s not too panicked.

“Let’s get you something to eat, yeah?” Louis just nods weakly. The door to his cage opens and the alpha grabs his hand as he’s led up the stairs. The house looks the same, normal and undisturbed. Everything is perfectly clean and scrubbed – not a speck of dust or dirt anywhere to be seen.  That seems to be the only really disturbing thing about the entire place. It feels unlived in. Empty.

A passing stranger might take the home as a place where someone had lived and thrived as an actual human being, but Louis sees past it. He sees how the counter tops sparkle and the lack of even a single speck of dust on the counter tops. He’d been stripped of his shoes as soon as the alpha had taken his clothes and all he had now was a pair of thin, white tube socks.

They take a left to the kitchen, where the old woman is standing over the oven cooking something up. He doesn’t care enough to look. He’s hungry, but he doesn’t want to seem interested. The alpha pulls out a chair for him. An act that would normally be felt as a courtesy feels much like a demand, and it leaves a chill in Louis’ spine all over again. He’s scared and he feels like he might throw up again, but he can’t.

_He wants to have a baby with you._

Oh, god.

He’s a good actor. Always has been – even if scouting agents don’t agree he’s good enough for the big screen. So that’s all he’s going to have to do, right? Play it up and hope that in the time he gets the alpha to trust him, he’ll find a way out.

If two other omegas were killed in the time he was brought here, he doesn’t think anyone is going to come save him, so everything he can do is going to be on his own. It’s a daunting thought, but it seems like it’s just another thing he’s going to have to accept.

“Here’s your vitamins,” The alpha says with a smile and sets two large orange pills beside him with a glass of orange juice. His mind screams that he shouldn’t take them, that they’re probably a drug to keep him pliant and not vitamins, but if this man really wants to have a baby, he must know that he can’t drug him, right? “You might want to wait to take them until after you’ve eaten. I know how easily you get your stomach upset.” The alpha coos and Louis just plasters on a fake smile. He isn’t sure how he’s supposed to act, but it’ll just have to be something he figures out over time.

Maybe if he just considers it a big improv, he can make it through this.

“Thank you.” He sips at the juice and it makes the alpha stop staring at him expectantly, so he’s happy for that.

It’s probably about ten minutes before there’s actually any food placed in front of him, but he’s not complaining. This entire situation is weird and scary and he doesn’t know how to handle it, really, but he’s just got to figure it out. If he doesn’t he’ll end up dead.

Should he bring it up first? Should he wait until this alpha does? He really hates the idea that they’re going to have to have sex - but if it means he has the chance of getting out of here alive – he’s not going to die to avoid a knot. A shiver runs up his spine at the thought – knotting is something he’d always enjoyed with previous boyfriends, but it was something intimate and something he always thought should be shared only between two people who are extremely close.

He doesn’t want this crazy alpha to be inside of him at all – let alone knot him. But does he really have a choice?

What a terrible thing to think.

He decides that he should bring it up, but then an idea pops into his head. A distraction. A way to make sure he has at least the slightest resemblance of a chance to get free before he has to worry about getting pregnant. “I can’t wait until that last pill wears off,” He starts and brown eyes stare deeply into his own as he takes another sip of his juice. He realizes the alpha doesn’t know what he’s talking about, which was the plan, but the delusion still seems to be there, so he continues. He makes it sound like it’s all a causual conversation, like he’s truly been thinking about having a child with this freak. “I’m so glad you’re finally ready to start this next phase of our lives, to have a baby.” His voice is somewhat wobbly, and the older woman is looking at him sceptically, but he pays her no attention. “Only three weeks now, and my body will be clean of any suppressants and I’ll be fertile again.” He sighs, tries to make it sound happy despite the fear he feels deep inside of his bones.

It’s the truth, is the worst part. But he’s only hoping that sharing that will make the alpha wait those three weeks to feel the need to fuck him. He really, really hates the thought that he could be raped in his heat – but he also just hopes he’ll be long gone before then.

There has to be a way out.

“You were on suppressants?” The alpha asks and his eyes are almost black now, instead of the brown they had been only moments earlier. His voice is raised and Louis flinches, but he knows he needs to recover quickly, to continue the natural façade of their conversation. Louis swallows hard to calm himself down.

“I know you didn’t want me to be,” He takes a breath, “But I knew you weren’t ready for a baby before now, and I didn’t want any accidents. Waiting was the best choice, don’t you think? Cause now we’re all ready.” He tries to smile, and he just hopes it comes across as genuine. He even places a hand over his stomach for emphasis. The alpha softens and some of Louis’ anxiety dissipates.

He really wishes he knew his name.

“My smart boy.” He says with a smile and rubs the pad of his thumb over Louis’ jawline. “You’re so right. I can’t wait for you to have my babies; they’re going to be so smart just like you.”

He’s really not sure if he’s just dug his own grave or not, but whatever he’s just done seems to have worked, so he’s just going to have to play along with it. He eats his waffle and takes his vitamins as the conversation dies out. It’s uncomfortable and he’s still scared, but he’s still hoping he’s not going to die.

At least not yet.

 

 

 

HARRY.

The first omega died of cancer, and her alpha – after being mated for ten years – died six months later. Harry didn’t have to read anything else past that, but he still gives the file to Liam to make sure he doesn’t catch anything that Harry may have missed. It’s a decent system, he thinks, because the two of them together can work seamlessly and catch each other’s mistakes in ways that he doesn’t think he’d be able to handle with anyone else.

It’s the fifth file that really catches his attention. “Liam, listen to this.” He starts, “Twenty-One-year-old omega June Greddle died in a car accident four and a half years ago, leaving his alpha of three years behind, Mark Greddle. He was in the second trimester of his pregnancy when killed in the car accident.”

“Oh, shit.” Liam says and Harry actually relates. “Do you think he’s our guy, then?”

“It’s very possible.” He picks up his phone to call Lou again, but right before he does, there’s a knocking on his door.

“Jay Tomlinson is here to speak with you.” She’d been delayed yesterday by a sudden illness in one of her other children, so he nods.

“Look into this guy. I’ll be back.” He tells Liam and gets up to go speak with the mother.

 

She has two babies in her arms and Harry feels terrible. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t make it yesterday.” She says. There are dark bags under her eyes and her posture tells the story of exactly how exhausted she is. He can only imagine how hard it must be to lose a child and be looking for that child while having to look after others.

“It’s not a problem at all, ma’am. I understand entirely.”

“Please tell me you’re going to find my Louis alive. Please.” She sounds broken, far more so than the other parents who just had to accept their child’s death, and he thinks that might be the hardest part. Not knowing.

“We’re doing everything we can to make sure we do. Truthfully.”

“Do you have anything, yet?”

“We might, but everything is only possibly relevant until proven otherwise.” He’d already gotten almost all of the information he needed out of Louis’ friend, Niall, the night before, so he doesn’t really have any questions for the woman. “I am genuinely sorry you have to go through this, and I promise we will call you if we find anything new. I know it really isn’t my place to say anything, but you should get some rest. Louis will be alive for at least a few more months, and we plan to get to him before then.” A few tears fall down her cheeks, then, and Harry passes her the tissue box.

He wishes there was something else he could do.

 

“Harry!” Liam barges into his office a few hours later. “I think we have our guy. Mark Greddle fits the profile almost perfectly. He was a dentist until his husband’s passing, then he went to part time and eventually withdrew his retirement and is now unemployed. He has a juvenile criminal record of arson, apparently was in therapy when he was younger because he killed their neighbours cat. When they moved out to Manchester when he was fifteen all of the criminal stuff stopped, though.”

“Let’s go find him.” Liam nods and calls up their team. They get their vests on and load everything up and they’re in their cars before even an hour has passed.

 

It takes two knocks on the door for Mr. Greddle to answer. “Hello,” He says. “How can I help you?” He doesn’t seem reserved or like he’s hiding something, but Harry’s suspicion still doesn’t falter. He wants nothing more than to find Louis Tomlinson alive, and if he does, then he’ll be more than happy.

“Agent Styles, FBI. We have a few questions for you.”

“Um, all right. Come in.” The man says and pulls the door back wide enough for him and Liam to go inside. “Can I get you anything to drink?”

“No.” Harry says, “Do you mind if we have a look around?”

“Go ahead. I have nothing to hide. But can I ask what this is about?” Harry quirks an eyebrow at Liam, who suddenly doesn’t look as sure as he was an hour ago. This isn’t normal behaviour for any unsub they find – to be so open and willing to let them search before they’ve presented a warrant.

It takes them about forty minutes to go through every room in the house, and there’s nothing. Not even a faint scent remaining of any omega.

They got the wrong guy.

“We’re very sorry to have bothered you.” Harry says with a regretful look.

“It’s all right, agent.” The alpha says. “I hope you do find whoever it is you’re looking for. Especially if it’s the person you spoke about on your broadcasts. After June died – I can’t imagine how awful those other alphas must feel losing their omegas.” Harry nods.

“Have a good rest of your evening.”

 

“What do we do now?” Liam asks half way through the car ride back to HQ. He sighs.

“We keep looking. Always.”

 

The case feels dangerously on edge of going cold all over again. None of the other files match up, and they’ve interviewed and searched each of the alpha’s homes on that list. None of them really had any reason for them to be suspicious and only one of them had a scent of an omega, and the woman was mated to the alpha. Secondary matings are rare, but not unheard of. Harry isn’t one to judge.

Jay calls almost every day crying and asking if they’ve found anything about Louis. It’s the hardest thing he’s ever had to do when, ten days after their first discussion, he has to tell her he thinks the case is going cold. She screams at him, yells and calls him a liar and a coward and Harry feels awful. But there isn’t a lot he can do if there’s no evidence to point him in the right direction.

He searches and searches, stays up late almost every night but nothing comes out of it. _Just give me something._ He asks to whatever higher power is listening.

_Anything._

 

 

 

LOUIS.

The first three days went by in the same blur of motions. He thinks, maybe, that the alpha might be slipping something in his food to keep him pliant. He has a lot of trouble doing much other than sitting and sleeping. Even the simplest tasks are hard because he just doesn’t have the energy to do them.

They watch movies together, but Louis is usually asleep by the first half hour, and when he wakes up, he’s always back behind those same bars. The days blur together and playing along with this alpha’s game seems more and more hopeless and pointless as each day goes on.

 

It’s the sixth day before the alpha tells him his name. Marcus. He doesn’t get a last name, but it’s nice that he doesn’t have to refer to him as  _the alpha_ inside of his head anymore. Maybe he could slip a letter into the mailbox somewhere, somehow, and it could get to someone who could come save him with only a first name.

The thought fades away when he falls back asleep.

 

It’s the tenth day before Marcus lets him sleep outside of his cage. He invites him to sleep with him in his room – and it’s working. It’s all working to gain the alpha’s trust so he can escape. Now all he has to do is find the energy to do it.

“I moved all of your things up here, since I don’t think you’ll need to go back downstairs for a while.” Marcus says and Louis nods.

“Thanks. I like sleeping with you.” The lie slips past his teeth easily; they all do now. He has to lie to survive and he wants nothing more than to get out and to see his mum and Niall again. His sisters, too. He wants to see them so terribly. He misses the people who care for him in reality, not some delusion.

“I can’t wait until you get your heat.” Marcus says and runs his fingers through Louis’ hair. The way he says it sounds like he’s attempting to make it sound seductive, but Louis just smiles the same fake smile he’s been using the last week. He suppresses the scared whimper.

“Me neither. We’re going to be great parents.”

 

He wakes in the middle of the night and sees that Marcus is sound asleep. The red numbers on the clock read 4:05 am, and he thinks this might be his chance to escape. His heart is pounding in his chest as he stands, silently, and walks over to the bathroom. He knows it’s not going to be his way out, and the only way he can really manage to get out is getting help, but he can do this. He’d nicked a pen from the kitchen table the day before, and now is his chance.

“Babe?” He hears from the other side of the door.

“Sorry, I had to wee.” He says and the alpha makes a low sound in his throat. It sounds like he walks away, though, so Louis thinks he believed him. He quickly writes his note on three squares of toilet paper,  _help, my name is Louis Tomlinson and I’m trapped here. All I know is his first name is Marcus and he lives with his mother._  He folds it up and tucks it in the crease of his boxers, to keep it in place, before flushing the toilet and washing his hands.

He hopes he can find a good place to put the note.

 

He gets back into bed with shaking hands and Marcus pulls him closer to his chest. He tries to relax and not let the panic overwhelm him, but he doesn’t ever end up falling asleep.

It’s too much, he thinks.

He’s not sure anyone’s going to come and save him at this point and it all feels like he’s just reaching the end. In twelve days, he’ll be pregnant and he’ll just be another pawn in this crazy alpha’s game. It’s unfair and scary and he doesn’t want anything to do with it.

When the sun rises, he finally passes out.

 

Marcus, as it turns out, is genuinely the definition of _neat freak._ He thinks it might be some kind of compulsive disorder, but the first time Louis makes himself something to eat on the tenth day of being there, he spills a bit of milk on the counter and it runs off onto his pants just a bit. Marcus screams at him for over an hour, even though he’d wiped it up.

The oven is turned off, Louis being allowed to cook ever again is revoked, and he’s forced to scrub all of the dishes for twenty minutes each, until his hands are pruney and his knuckles are sore. He thinks the bleach Marcus had made him use chemical burned his hands, too, but he doesn’t complain.

It sends the alpha off into a massive fit, though, and he drags Louis up the stairs and into their bathroom by his hair, making him scream and shout in pain, but the alpha doesn’t falter. “Sit.” He’s told and the alpha points to the shut toilet seat, and he complies. He sits and tries to make himself appear smaller, watches as the alpha runs a bath. What if he drowns him? Oh, god.

That would be one of the worst ways to die.

He’s shoved into the water after Marcus strips him of his clothes, but his head isn’t held under. Instead, the alpha scrubs a brush over his skin until it’s bleeding in some spots and raw in almost every other place. He cries through the entire thing, the soap stinging his open cuts before it’s over.

Marcus kisses him and apologizes over and over, but Louis just wants to disappear.

When he lays in bed that night, everything hurts. He’s starting to see the appeal of the pills that make him too tired to think about anything.

 

It’s six days later before Louis finds the chance to get the note out. He’d thought and thought and thought about how he was going to get someone to help him – but nothing seemed like it would work.

It was Friday, and Marcus only ever wore jeans on Fridays, something about the regulations the office he used to work at being engrained in his brain. Louis doesn’t care, though, because for the first time, Marcus is wearing jeans when he plans to leave the house.

He sticks it in the back of Marcus’ jean pocket when he leaves to go get groceries in the middle of a friendly hug goodbye, with the bolded  _Help_ visible. He hopes it works. All he can hope is that someone will see it and figure it out and call the police and save him.

 

It doesn’t.

When Marcus gets home, he says he found it on his drivers seat and beats him so hard he can’t see out of his left eye or feel his arm. He thinks it might be broken and as he lays on the floor and stares off into the kitchen, he watches his fingers move. Marcus kicks him one last time, right against his rib cage and he blacks out.

He falls into omega space.

 

 

HARRY.

 “Agent Styles!” Jay comes into his office with tear tracks down her face and her hands are shaking. “Louis is dead, Louis is dead. He’s gone.” She sobs and Harry stands and holds her hand, tries to calm her. She’s trembling in a way he’s only ever seen omegas do. It’s sad and terrifying all the same – the final sign before they go into distress. He knows he can prevent it as soon as he can get her talking.

“What happened, Jay, is everything all right?”

“I can normally feel him, right next to where my bond mark used to be.” She says and she’s still sobbing. Harry pulls his desk chair to the front and lets her sit, then grabs one of the less soft chairs and sits in it. Her hand is squeezing his so tightly that he thinks it must be hurting her, but it doesn’t seem to be. “But now – he’s just gone. I can’t feel him anymore. He’s dead!” She nearly falls to the ground, crumpled over in her own lap and Harry doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t know what to say other than to comfort her and make sure she knows he might not be dead yet.

“We haven’t found a body yet, Mrs.Tomlinson. Maybe he just dropped.”

“Oh, God. That’s even worse! He’ll suffer until he dies.” Sometimes he wishes he could just keep his mouth shut. He doesn’t know much about an omega dropping – he’d always learned in school that it was what happened when they needed to escape, but the only real safe way for it to happen is an alpha to do it for them and then bring them back up a short while later. When it happens naturally, they can fall into comas and die. He thinks that must be better than going through torture, but he understands where Jay is coming from – if someone he loved this dearly was gone and he didn’t know where they were, he’d be panicking just the same.

It takes him almost an hour to calm her, but when he does, he offers to buy her lunch and she agrees. He orders in some Chinese food for her and goes on to the meeting room.

Two more days pass and Harry is feeling entirely hopeless with this case. It’s making him angry and sad and he doesn’t know what to do anymore. He just wants Louis safe. For his mother, for his family, for the omega, for _himself._ It’s selfish and unprofessional for him to get so close to a case, to allow himself to get personally involved, but he can’t help it. From the moment he’d watched those tapes with the omega disappearing so seamlessly, like he just vanished into thin air, he’s been obsessed with this case much more than he should be.

He sits at his desk and thinks, looks over his notes and tries to catch something he hadn’t before. They only have a week longer of being here before the department will force them to call this case cold until another body shows up and he can’t allow that to happen. Not again. Especially not with Louis.

He looks through his notes for hours, stares at their evidence board for hours, paces and thinks and goes through the profile until the early hours of the morning.

When he turns in for the night, it’s almost one in the morning and he’s back at the office again by seven. Liam is sitting in the conference room, a cup of coffee in hand as he reads over what Harry had written the night before in his caffeine induced haze. He usually comes up with the most off-the-wall ideas when he’s about to fall asleep standing up, so Liam has long since stopped thinking his late night ramblings were jibberish.

Then.

Wait.

He needs to look at something again.

It’s been too long and Louis could very well be dead or on his way to it. He’s already out of time but the only thing he can hope for now is that the universe is on his side and they can get this one omega out before his time is up, too.

“Get me the surveillance tape from the day Tomlinson was abducted.” Harry says yet again. He’s watched the tape at least a dozen times, run the plates on the van that seems to be the vehicle that took him, interviewed the driver, and still found nothing.

He watches it again and again before he sees something. “Hey, wait, stop. Go back about four seconds, zoom in, and then give me a frame by frame.” He tells Lou and she does exactly that. It shows him going behind the large van and then he disappears. But there are shadows, very very light shadows, but they’re there. He notices, for the first time, that there are  _two_  shadows on the side of the vehicle that Louis had gone to. One is much taller. He hadn’t noticed that before, but now it makes a little more sense. There must have been another person in the blue car, not just the old woman.

“Run the plates on that blue sedan. Get me all the information you can get me on that older lady.” It’s the weirdest thing he’s ever had to say – that an older woman could be their prime suspect – but nothing in this world seems to make sense anymore. 

“Her name is Annadel Whitman.” Lou says, her legs crossed and hair pulled over her shoulder. “Seventy-One. Her son is Marcus Whitman. He doesn’t appear to have any kind of trauma involving omegas –“ She reads through the file and “Oh, oh shit wait. No. His omega broke their bond with another alpha – illegally - and got arrested for it.”

“Bring her up.”

“Him,” Lou corrects, “His name was Andrew, birth name Andrew Black, he was released on his third year for good behaviour and is currently living in Sacramento, California, all the way in the states.”

“What does he look like?” Harry doesn’t think he needs an answer to that, but as soon as the answer is given, a chill runs up his spine.

“Blue eyes, short brown hair.”

“We’ve got our guy then?” Liam asks from the other side of him. Harry nods. He’s completely certain this time. Louis Tomlinson has been stuck with this sick fucker for too long already, and he wants him free. He wants him free as if he knew him personally and it’s painful in the way he cares so passionately.

“We need to go. Now.” Liam nods quickly and they all gear up. Harry has a feeling in his gut with this one – something instinctual that’s telling him he’s right. It’ll be just passing dinner time when they get to Whitman’s house and he hopes that keeps their element of surprise.

It’s a three hour drive, and every single light is blaring as they go.

 

 

LOUIS.

Marcus, somehow, pulls him out of omega space. When he wakes, he feels sick and weak and his entire body aches. He curls into the alpha, his instincts wanting some kind of comfort. His mind isn’t entirely back just yet, so he finds what he’s looking for from the alpha, scents him until his body feels pliant.

“Come back up, love. It’s okay.” He sighs softly, nods, and whines in his throat. All he can feel is pain, everything hurts and he can’t remember why. “I know it hurts, lets get you in bed and something for the pain.” Louis kind of understands the meaning of the words and just lets himself be carried away.

 

He doesn’t come completely out of it until the sun is almost down. He’d fallen in and out of sleep for a few hours, but when he’s completely back, his head is pounding and he’s alone. He cries for a while, mostly because he feels an emotional pain that isn’t his own – it must be his mum’s – and sleeps while he tries not to think about it.

 

He slept for two full days, he’s told. But now that he’s back, he kind of wishes he hadn’t come back at all.

His heat is going to come early. He can already feel the itch under his skin and the tell-tell sign of how low his energy levels are. With the drugs, they’re already usually low, but with an upcoming heat, it’s even worse. He’d hoped – prayed and prayed every night – that the stress of this whole situation would put his heat off entirely. He’d hoped it would make the entire cycle skip until the next one. It wouldn’t put Marcus off – not entirely – but it would buy him time. It would buy him time to live, even if this entire situation doesn’t entirely feel like living.

He doubts Marcus knows enough about omega suppressants to know he’s been well-beyond fertile since the first week of stopping taking the suppressants, but he’s glad he had that little pleasure. Buying himself time is, thus far, the only thing that’s gotten him through all of this.

With all of the crazy alpha’s outbursts, he’s more bruised than he is not and all he really does is lay in bed. Sometimes he gets carried down to the kitchen to eat, but most of the time he just lays in Marcus’ bed and watches the never-ending loop of the cooking channel. It’s the one thing Marcus allows him to watch.

 He doesn’t know how to deal with all of this, though, so when he’s not watching telly, he just sleeps. Sleeping distracts him from the reality that he really is in Hell.

Marcus had gone into another one of his cleaning fits and scrubbed him raw all over again just a few hours earlier, and his body is still recovering. A few splotches of blood soak through his t-shirt from the rawness of the bruised skin around his sides, but that hadn’t seemed to bother Marcus.

He forces his eyes shut and tries to sleep once again. He manages to fall into a dreamless sleep within a few minutes.

 

“If you make a single sound, I’ll kill you and everyone you love.” Is how he wakes up, the words whisper-yelled in his ear. There’s knocking on the door, loud and booming through the entire house. His entire body tenses as Marcus grabs him and places a gun at the point of his jaw right below his eye. He doesn’t even think a shot at that angle would kill him, but it would ruin the rest of his life. He’d probably be blind in that eye, maybe never be able to talk properly again.

He's not sure if that would be better or worse than death at this point. Probably worse. He still has enough reason to fight left in him to keep going – he hasn’t gone through anything too terrible that would ruin the rest of his life if he lived.

“FBI! Open up!” He hears as the darkness of the closet surrounds them. Someone came! Someone found him! His heart is pounding as he hears voices from the living room just down the hall. He can only hope this is it – this is his chance to be free and to get away from all of this. Everything inside of him is telling him to scream, to call out and get the police’s attention. But he doesn’t want to die. Not when he’s this close to freedom.

The door opens and closes – the familiar creak of the rusty metal hinges on the front door, followed by the far-too-familiar sound of it closing once again. That sound still makes his pulse race, his hands sweat, his eyes water. Every time he’s watched that door close he’s felt just a little closer to giving up – but this time he can only hope it’s the last time he’ll have to hear it.

“Where’s your son, ma’am?” A thick, slow voice says and he hears it loud and clear. An alpha, he thinks. Something about the way alphas talk is always distinguishable, always makes him feel a chill up his spine the first time he hears them. But this one – this voice doesn’t give him the chill, it gives him a feeling of safety.

“Marcus is at work.” She says and tears well in Louis’ eyes. “He should be back any time now.” She sounds so convincing; the same fake innocent-old-woman voice she’d used to make him trust her. He wants to scream again, to draw any kind of attention to himself.

“When does he normally get home?” Another voice. The second voice sounds like an alpha as well, but it doesn’t comfort him in the same way. It’s strange.

“Oh, about seven. I’ve got his supper in the oven now.”

“Why are there three plates set?”

“He’s supposed to be bringing his omega friend over for supper tonight. They’ve been getting awfully serious and he wants to have him meet me.” Louis is crying now, and he knows Marcus feels the tears against his hand, but he doesn’t say anything.

“Do you mind if we have a look around?” The same, slow, comforting voice says.  _Yes, yes, I’m almost free._ He thinks. He wants nothing more than to be free from this awful place and to be home, to cuddle up on the couch with Niall and feel safe again.

“Do you have a warrant?” The woman says and it’s the first sign of malice from her end, but it’s enough, he thinks, to prove he’s here.  _Please._

“No, ma’am. Would you like us to return with one?”

“Yes, I think that’s best.” He hears footsteps, then, and the scent of alpha is gone as soon as the door clicks. The door is shut and he’s going to die. There’s no way Marcus is going to let him live not, not when he knows the police are on his tail. His heart is pounding and in that moment he doesn’t think he’s ever wanted to die and live at the same time so much. It’s not fair, he was so close.

 

Marcus tosses him from the closet and tells him to stay put on the floor. He puts a hunting knife into a bag as well as a new set of clothes and a few other items. Louis thinks he’s going to die, now. This is it. Marcus thinks he’s going to be caught, so he’s going to kill him.

It’s anti-climactic, he thinks, to die when he was only inches from being saved.

“Get up.” The gun is still pointed at him. “We’re leaving.” He’s hoisted up by his forearm and dragged to the back of the house and through the backdoor. His head is still spinning and he thinks he sees a strand of longer brown hair in the wind, but it’s probably a hallucination. He knows his head has made up enough false reality to keep him feeling safe – like the fake warmth of a hand on his back when he’s nervous or the dreams he has of his mum stroking his hair. It’s all just an illusion.

Or not.

“Marcus Whitman! Stop! You’re under arrest!” It’s the same smooth voice and Louis crumbles. His knees buckle and his chest feels tight. He falls to the ground but Marcus pulls him up, has the gun firmly against his head. That’s the kind of shot that would kill him.

“Don’t come near us!” He screams, voice frantic. “You can’t take him!”

“We’re not going to take him.” Another agent says. He has brown hair and soft eyes that make Louis think of puppies. “We know you two are in love and we know that you just want to start a family,” Louis is crying again. “We want to help you. You just have to put the gun down.”

“Yeah, Marcus. We’re gonna start a family, but we can only do that if you trust me like I trust you.” His voice is shaking and he can actually smell his own pheromones that are giving off strong scents of fear, but Marcus doesn’t seem to pick that up.

“You – you really want to start a family with me?”

“O-of course. Of course. I can’t wait.” Louis says and his voice is trembling. He locks eyes with the green eyed alpha and he can just feel that everything is going to be okay. He just – he can feel it. It’s not something he should be able to feel, but just a single look exchanged between the two of them and he knows he’s all right.

The gun is away from his head, then, and he breathes a sigh of relief.

“Now as soon as you set that down on the ground, he’s all yours and you two can have your happy ever after.” The green eyed alpha says and Marcus seems to believe him, sets the gun down on the ground. Louis takes that chance to run, to get out of Marcus’ grip and runs until his vision goes spotty.

Marcus shouts something, but Louis’ ears are ringing. He watches as Marcus is shoved to the ground and handcuffs are wrapped around his arms.

Before long, there are two big, alphas surrounding him and he curls in on himself. He’s scared – not ready to be surrounded. “Louis? My name’s Harry, I’m gonna help you, all right? We’re gonna get you home.” His vision goes entirely black. His head smacks against a rock when he hits the ground.

 

When he wakes up, there’s beeping.

It’s loud and annoying and he smacks his hand out and it hits against some kind of machine which makes him groan. He whines high in his throat when he opens his eyes and all he can see is bright, white lights and he thinks for a moment that he’s dead. This must be heaven in all of it’s bright, whiteness. “Louis, oh my god.” It’s his mom, and there are tears in his eyes. “Louis, my baby.” She holds him so tightly he doesn’t think he can breathe, but it means so much to him that he doesn’t mind.

“Mum.” He’s crying again, holding her tightly. It sets in, then, that he’s alive and well and he’s survived to tell the story of what happened. “I’m alive.” He has to say it out loud, just because it doesn’t feel real. He thinks this might be some kind of afterlife, where he can be with his mum.

“Yes my baby, you’re alive.” She kisses his forehead. “There are an awful lot of people here to see you, but I told them to wait so I could see if you were ready.”

“Can I see that agent that um, the one who saved me? The slow-talking one. I didn’t get a chance to thank him and…” She gets a soft smile on her face and nods.

“I’ll go and fetch him.” She stands and he hadn’t realized how terrifying it was to be alone in a room before – maybe he’d never had that fear – but it really is scary. He’s scared that someone is going to come back and rip his life away from him all over again, take away the things he loves. He never wants to be alone again, he thinks. But this can’t make him think like that – he can’t let the anxiety take over and ruin his life. He can’t let _Marcus_ ruin his life. He needs to continue living because David and Lauren couldn’t. He was lucky enough to make it out, not only alive, but also untouched. He needs to live on for them.

It’s only about five minutes before the officer comes into his room, and he has a cup of tea in his hands. “Your mum told me how you took your tea.” He sets it down on the table aside his bed and Louis suddenly feels a bit speechless. He, literally, owes his life to this alpha and he can’t help the little tears that pool in his eyes.

“Thank you.” He says, but it doesn’t feel like enough. He blinks the tears away. Something about this alpha makes him feel comfortable, safe. He has a strange, awkward urge to scent him, to make himself that much closer, but that’s weird. “For everything, really. You um, you saved my life.”

“You’re welcome.” He says with a smile. “If you ever need me for anything, you’re welcome to call me, all right? Any time.”

“I really appreciate that.” Harry places a little card in his hand – a business card – but on the back in beautifully neat handwriting, seems to be his personal number.

“Is he…?” Louis asks, voice small and unsure. Tears prick at his eyes even though he doesn’t mean for them to, but he can’t help it.

“He’s going to be put away for the rest of his life, Louis.” Harry puts his hand over the top of Louis’, a gentle touch that makes him feel safe. “I promise he will never see you again and you have nothing to worry about.”

“Thank you.” He says with a weak smile. It’s comforting enough to know he’ll never be touched by that crazy alpha ever again.

“I have to go, since I need to head back, but I hope you feel better soon. Take your time recovering; don’t rush it too much because you did just go through something awful. Don’t feel like anyone is expecting you to make a speedy recovery.” Louis smiles wider.

“Thank you, Agent Styles.”

“Call me Harry.” He says in place of a goodbye as he slips out the door.

 

 

HARRY.

Harry returns home that night, but laying in his own bed instead of a hotel bed feels foreign. Something about being home always has this comforting feeling, but at the same time, home never quite feels right after a long, emotionally taxing case. The sheets smell like laundry detergent – freshly washed by his house keeper who he always hires when he’s gone to make the place feel nice the day before he finds his way home.

His phone buzzes against the wood of his night stand, but he doesn’t check it. His work phone is on full volume across the room – always able to wake him if he needs to be woken – but his personal phone can go ignored for now. It’s two buzzes in quick succession which usually means an email anyway, so it doesn’t feel important.

But he can’t stop thinking about his job and his life and if this is really what he is going to come down to. Is he really coming down to feeling like a stranger in his own home? Is this really the life he wanted when he signed up for this job? It won’t leave the front of his mind when he thinks about himself and reflects and forces himself to just  _think._

Then again, Louis Tomlinson won’t get out of his head, either.

This last case in general is completely stuck in his head and he can’t stop seeing it whenever he thinks about how awful a person would have to be to do something so terrible to any omega. To manipulate and force an omega to do something against their will that could – and likely would have – killed them.

Something like that should have been the plot of a terrible, cruel movie or mystery book, not real life. The whole case is just surreal. Something about it – and him - just – it just  _stuck._ The way he’d so obviously held on to every ounce of strength he could until he knew he was safe, the way he’d had the emotional stability to  _thank_  him. Louis Tomlinson was the definition of a perfect victim – he did everything he needed to do to keep himself alive. He’d read about all of the ways an omega’s mind could put up blocks to keep themselves safe, but none of that had ever seemed like it would be necessary. But watching the way Tomlinson’s resolve had just broken down so quickly and so extremely right in front of him, it was as sad as it was amazing.

It wasn’t normal how much he was thinking about the omega.

He’d never thought there was such a thing as a soul bond. It had always just seemed to be gibberish that Liam went on about when he was slightly tipsy – but he thinks he might understand, now. He might understand how Liam felt all those years ago when he very first laid eyes on Sophia.

He throws a pillow over his head and sighs. Louis will just have to get out of his mind – he can think about him and wish him the best, but other than that, there’s nothing else he can do. Louis will be fine. He’ll move on and he’ll use what he’s been through to fuel the same strength later in his life. Harry knows, logically, that he’ll never have a part of that life, but he’s happy that Louis has the chance to get that life.

 

It’s fifteen days later when Harry finds himself in bed once again, on his day off, flicking through the late night channels on his telly when his phone rings. It’s an unknown number when he picks it up and looks at it, but he answers anyway. “Styles.”

“Um,” He immediately perks up at the sound of the voice on the other end. “Hi, Harry? It’s Louis. Um,” He sounds nervous and Harry wants to take every single one of his doubts away. “This is weird, right? You totally just gave me your number because it’s courtesy, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have –“

“It’s completely fine.” He mutes his telly to pay complete attention to Louis. “Whats up? Everything all right?”

“Yeah – I mean. Yeah. Everything’s good. This is the first night I’ve been home alone since um, yeah, and I guess I’m just kind of scared. It’s stupid, I’m sorry if I’m bothering you.”

“You have every right to be scared and you’re not bothering me at all. Is there any way I can help you?”

“Can we just talk for a little bit? I think… I just want someone to talk to.”

“Of course. Tell me about your day?”

“Pretty uneventful. My mum and I went out to the shoppes for some food for my flat, since I haven’t been here in a while. Niall ate it all and then lived off of take out.” He laughs into the receiver and Harry loves his laugh. He wants to hear it every day for the rest of his life. “I played some footie with my little sisters and let them win. Now I’m just in bed. Anything eventful for you?”

“Had a day in, so nothing very special for me.” He wants to keep this conversation going, though, so he keeps talking. “I watched  _Love, Actually_ because it’s been my favorite movie since I was like, seventeen. Then followed in Niall’s lead a bit and had Thai take out for supper.”

“Sounds exciting.” Louis says and Harry can tell he takes the receiver away from his mouth to yawn, but he still hears it and chuckles.

“You should go to sleep if you’re tired.”

“This is actually the first time in a while I’ve felt comfortable enough to want to sleep.” Louis says. He doesn’t elaborate, so Harry just hopes it’s something to do with them being on the phone.

“Not so scared anymore?”

“I still am, I guess. I don’t know. Feel a little safer though, which is weird.”

“It’s not weird.” Harry feels like he’s glowing. It’s kind of weird, he thinks, because he isn’t really there to protect Louis should anything happen, but he can hear him and help aid his fear. Even if only a little bit. “Is there anything else I can do to help you?”

“Would you just stay on the line until I fall asleep?” Louis’ voice is small, like he’s unsure if it’s an all right thing to ask, but Harry agrees happily.

It’s barely a few minutes before Louis’ asleep, but Harry doesn’t turn the phone off for well over an hour, just listening to his breathing to make sure he’s fine. He feels responsible for him, in some way. It must be the soul bond thing, but he really does care for Louis.

 

He wakes up to three emojis from Louis number in his text messages.

The first, a sleeping emoji. The next, a sun. The third, a smile.

 _Good morning x – h_ he responds and sets his phone back down. He’s off to work for the morning, so he dresses up in his last clean suit he has to wear before he has to take a trip to the dry cleaners and heads out.

 

He doesn’t check his phone until he gets to the little coffee shop on the block before HQ, but when he does, there’s still no response from Louis. He doesn’t worry about it. He doesn’t think there’s much to say to what he’d said, so maybe he’ll send another text later when he’s on his lunch break.

 

Lunch break comes and goes and he works right through it. It’s really quite normal for him at this point – just because he gets so caught up in reading over profiles and cases and sending them out to respective departments. Not every case gets given to his team – only the most specialized and serious – so all of the minor crime cases he sends down to the third floor.

“Hey, boss.” Liam says and comes in with two more full cups of coffee. He keeps one for himself and hands the other off to Harry and these are the times he’s so grateful for his friends. “What’s going on?”

“Sorting cases. Times ‘it?”

“Half six. Zayn and I are going out for drinks. You want to come?”

“I don’t think so, Li. Next time for sure.”

“Something on your mind?” Harry sighs.

“Do you think it would be unprofessional if I took Louis Tomlinson out on a date?” Liam quirks an eyebrow.

“I wouldn’t… I mean, I don’t think so. The case is closed. So, you really don’t have any affiliation. Why?”

“He called me last night and I just – remember when I used to make fun of you for all that soul bond shit? I think – I don’t know – I think I might be feeling that with Louis. I’m so instinctually protective over him and I want him happy all the time and it’s just – it’s kind of hard to explain but…”

“I’d go for it, Boss. I think it would do you well to settle down with someone. No offence, obviously.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know.” Harry sighs again. It’s been years since he’s had any kind of relationship, so Liam’s more right than he’d ever like to admit. “I think I might take him out, then. It would be fun.”

“Good luck.” The other alpha says and ruffles up his curls before he walks out. He starts towards the door when his phone starts ringing again.

“Hi, Louis.” He says instead of his typical greeting.

“Hi, Harry.” He says and he sounds much happier then. A truck drives by as soon as he goes to the sidewalk to get to his car. “Is this a bad time?”

“No, not at all. Perfect time, actually. I’m just headed home from work.”

“Wonderful.” Louis sighs happily. “Anything interesting happen? Save any lives?”

“Oh yes, that’s me. Super hero of London.” Louis gets quiet for a moment and Harry worries he’s said something wrong.

“No, only mine.” Harry smiles wider than he has in a long time at that. He thinks it might be a private comment, though, so he doesn’t want to say anything. Something about Louis letting himself be vulnerable enough to say something so raw and truthful doesn’t feel like something he should intrude on.  “So I promise I didn’t call for no reason.”

“You can call me for no reason whenever you want. I love hearing your voice.” It’s probably a far too flirty thing to say, since he doesn’t know how Louis feels about him. But Louis doesn’t seem to mind.

“Well… I just wanted to ask you a kind of weird question.”

“Weird questions are the best kinds of questions.” He gets in the car and turns the ignition on, just to wait for it to warm up. He doesn’t drive while on the phone, but he doesn’t mind sitting and waiting, either. The back of his coat rides up a bit as he slides into the drivers side and his skin touches right against the cold leather, and he makes a face.

“Well um, do you want to like… see each other some time? Like, I know we only met the one time and two phone conversations –“ There’s a pause, “But I don’t know – I kind of just – I think I felt something when we were together, even if it was only for just a second and… Um, I’m rambling. Sorry.” Harry has to pause for a moment because he doesn’t think he’s heard Louis correctly. He has to process for a moment, but as soon as he does, he’s smiling.

“I think I felt something too. Of course we can see each other again.” He’s entirely genuine when he says it, and he’s still smiling.

“Yay.” There’s some kind of crashing in the background and Harry furrows his eyebrows. “Sorry, sorry. That’s Niall trying to cook. I should go, but would it be all right if I called you to sleep again tonight?”

“Of course.”

 

Louis texts him the running man emoji, pizza emoji, and three fire emojis. He laughs again and smiles down at his phone. He’s not entirely sure what it means, but he thinks he does, so he responds with a thumbs up, a pizza slice, and a grinning cat. He wants to get back to the date subject though, so he sends the emoji with two men holding hands, a coffee cup, and a question mark.

It’s a very strange way to ask someone on a date, especially someone who lives three hours away, but the  _when?_ He gets in response is more than enough to tell him he’s doing something right.

 _Next weekend?_ He responds quickly, but before he presses send he puts a little  _x_ beside it. It feels better that way. More flirty.

_Sounds good xx. Pick me up?_

Harry smiles.

 _Of course._  


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Excuse the late update. I was protesting the muslim ban. I hope you are all safe and my deepest condolences go out to anyone who is being personally affected by this (be it family, friends, or you personally going through it).

Do not stand at my grave and weep:

I am not there; I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow,

I am the diamond glints on snow,

I am the sun on ripened grain,

I am the gentle autumn rain.

_\- Mary Elizabeth Frye ; Do not stand at my grave and weep_

LOUIS.

He stares himself over in the mirror as the seconds on the clock tick by quickly. The ticking echoes through the entire room and he sighs, tugs on a strand of his hair and stomps down the hallway. Niall isn’t home and frustrated tears prick at his eyes as he grabs a chair from their kitchen, crawls up on top of it, grabs the clock, and throws it to the ground.

It doesn’t really set in, what he’s done, until he looks at the shattered glass all over the ground, and then he feels like his breath is knocked out of his lungs all over again. Little outbursts like that haven’t really become _frequent_ in his life – but when they do happen, he feels an unexplainable regret and shame always bubbles to his throat. He’s been told it’s normal – that his traumatic experiences might cause his brain to over-enhance some things and make him act out – but that doesn’t mean he has to like it.

He takes a few deep breathes before he sweeps up the mess he’s made and dumps the glass into the rubbish bin, then sets out a twenty pound note on the counter in case Niall wants to buy a new clock. It wasn’t really his property to break, so he refuses to be the kind of person who doesn’t make up for his mistakes.

As soon as it’s all cleaned up, he trudges back to his room and looks over his body in the mirror once again. It’s been almost two months since he’s seen Harry in person – but they’ve texted every single night since the first time that Louis called him – and tonight is their first date.

It’s not that he’s really that nervous (well, yes he is) but it’s more that he feels inferior. Harry is – he’s everything that he and his friends have dreamt about in an alpha since primary school and that’s more intimidating than he can even begin to really explain. That and the alpha knows everything about Louis’ vulnerabilities that he doesn’t think he would have been able to share with someone else.

Of course his mum had insisted he start seeing a therapist once she’d gotten word from Niall of how bad the nightmares that racked his brain most nights got, and he’s sure it’s helping in it’s own way, but having an alpha there that his instincts believe can protect him might actually make him feel better. He knows that relying on his natural omega instincts isn’t something most people condone anymore – saying that the only way real equality can come between the three genders is to leave most of it behind – but he and his mum have listened to their inner omegas enough times in their lives and made it out fine to ever abandon that tactic.

Harry is going to be here in less than five minutes, he realizes when he picks up his phone. So he quickly runs over to the bathroom and brushes his teeth quickly, then spritzes on a subtle spray of body shimmer.

He’s always been a bit of a feminine omega, and little things like that make him feel nice. He highly doubts Harry will mind (or even notice), but a shiver of self-doubt runs through his spine as he looks at himself once again.

There are still remnants of the scabs from Marcus’ brushes on his skin, especially on his back and stomach, but there’s a yellowing bruise on his arm that makes his stomach do a flop. The doctor had said something about his iron levels being abnormally low and that the wounds on his body would take a bit of extra time to heal because of that, and even after weeks of taking the supplements he’d been given, there are still marks.

It’s frustrating.

Tears prick at his eyes, just filling the rims and making the blue appear much more vibrant, so he sits on his bed and takes a deep beathe. In for four – hold for seven – out for eight. It calms his heart rate and he blinks away the moisture from his eyes. He sees headlights out of his flat’s window which he thinks might mean Harry is here. He hopes it’s Harry. The grounded feeling he’d had from seeing the alpha the last time had been refreshing – feeling something other than useless or weak or _scared._

He needs to feel that again.

Then there’s a knock on his door and he’s practically running to the door. He pauses, though, just for a moment and looks out the window. It _is_ Harry standing there, but he has to stare a moment longer just to make sure there’s no one behind him. His brain is telling him there is  - that someone is going to follow Harry in and hurt him.

He closes the curtains, though, and looks through the peep hole in the door only once before undoing the extra lock he’d asked Niall to put on. It’s there, in that moment, that he realizes exactly how fucked up that sounds. How paranoid it all is. He doesn’t want to live like that, but it eases the dreadful feeling of terror in his stomach every time he lays in bed at night to know the door is locked with three locks and all of the windows are screwed shut.

“Hi, Harry.” He says with a smile and motions with his hands for the alpha to come in. There’s no one behind him, he realizes with a smile. When he closes the door he only locks it twice. It’s small progress, but it’s progress.

“You look really nice.” Harry says with a smile, a little dimple coming out on his cheek and Louis is taken entirely aback by the alpha standing in front of him. He’s wearing a light blue dress shirt, tucked into the hem of his slacks. The top two buttons are undone and expose tattoos that Louis thinks he could stare at for hours. He’s got a cross necklace hanging in the opening of his shirt, the dark metal contrasting against his white skin. There’s an inch of so of exposed fabric beneath the cut off of his slacks and Louis can’t help but smile.

“Thank you.” He says softly. Then he pauses before, “Are those monkeys on your socks?” He asks with a little giggle. Harry almost lights up, his smile getting wider.

“Yeah! I saw them at the shoppes yesterday and I thought they were so cute like – they were in the omega section which… oops… but I liked them, so I got them.”

“You’re really something else, Styles.”

“Is that a good thing?”

“It’s a very good thing.”

“Are you ready to go?” Louis nods and Harry takes his hand. It’s not the first time he’s been touched since he got out – but he thinks it’s the first time he’s welcomed a touch so sincerely. Harry’s hands are warm and big and make him feel like he could feel safe again one day. He, of all people, knows it won’t be an easy process. He has to build up a support system – has to have people who care and want him to get better – but he has to want it, too.

He does. He wants it more than he wants most things.

“Where are we going, then?” He asks as Harry opens his car door. It’s not that he doesn’t like surprises – he does – it’s just the anxiety of it all. He’s become a bit of a control freak in the last few weeks. Not knowing where he’s going is a bit unnerving. Harry doesn’t need to know that and he’s sure he could go along with it just fine if Harry didn’t tell him – he feels safe enough around the alpha for that – but he’d really prefer to know.

“Well after I called Niall and had my knot threatened – he told me you haven’t been a fan of going out in public much lately. So I actually just figured I’d cook you dinner myself?” Louis smiles over at the alpha. He’s smiling, the grin making it’s way up to his eyes and making his entire face just seem beyond _happy._ It’s infectious.

“I think Niall and I need to have a chat.” He says with a little laugh. “But I really appreciate that, you know? It’s just been kind of hard for me.”

“No one’s pressuring you to get better quickly, Louis. Besides, I think whipping out my cooking skills is more of a good wooing than taking you out to a restaurant anyway, to be honest.”

“A wise man you are, Styles.” Harry eyes Louis’ seatbelt once, or lack of, before even staring the car. Louis gets the hint, though, and straps himself in as the alpha puts the key in the ignition.

 

Louis’ eyes widen a bit when Harry pulls into his driveway. He’s – well – he can’t _help_ it. The drive to the outskirts of London had been easy in the later hours of the night, after traffic had mostly died down, and the car ride had been filled with easy banter between the two of them. But pulling into Harry’s drive way made him feel small and insignificant in ways he’d never thought he could feel before.

Why would Harry want to waste his time on him? Why would such a clearly successful alpha want to waste his time on an ex-store-clerk slash dropped-out-uni-student? Harry turns over to him when the car shuts off, eyebrows furrowed and concern written on his face. “What’s wrong, Lou? You all right?”

“Am I here because you feel bad for me, Harry?” He asks, voice small as he pushes himself away, tries to appear smaller. He’s gone and embarrassed himself. Allowed himself to become a charity case.

“What?”

“You clearly have –“ He takes a breathe. “You clearly have more than I do. You’re successful and have… all of this. I don’t have anything. Do you – are you just taking pity on me? Trying to make me feel better?”

“What – Louis. No!” He reaches out, goes to touch Louis and pauses. Only when their gazes meet does he go to touch Louis’ knee. “Louis, I work with people every single day who have been through traumas and have suffered in ways I can’t even begin to imagine. Do you know what I do when I want to take pity on them? When I feel sorry for them?” Louis doesn’t answer – but it’s a rhetorical question anyway. “I give them business cards I keep in my wallet for trauma support groups. Maybe I’ll give them a hug and wish them well, but this – what I’m doing with you is not _pity,_ Louis.” Harry’s face looks so sure and serious. It makes Louis feel better, grounded. “I’m here with you right now and I’ve been texting you non-stop for the last few weeks because I _care_ about you. I feel a connection with you.”

“I’m sorry. I’m just – I’m sorry I went off like that. I should have accused you like that.” Harry smiles, takes his hand in his and kisses his knuckle.

“You’re forgiven. Can I take you inside now?”

“Yes.” Louis says with a smile and watches as Harry undoes his seatbelt for him. It’s kind – an act that many alphas forgo – and Louis loves it. Then Harry comes around and even opens his door up for him, takes his hand again and helps him out.

Walking inside, Louis feels the same punched-in-the-gut feeling he’d gotten from when he’d first seen the outside of the house. It’s – beautiful. There are long, floor-to-ceiling windows on the far end of the house that show a big backyard with something that Louis thinks might be a fucking _swimming pool,_ the stairs wind up the far left wall and a few pictures line the walls. On the right wall, there are windows that have houseplants sitting on each of the edges, big, bright bushy plants that look like they’re well taken care of.

The carpet looks soft and he feels the need to take his shoes off, but when Harry walks right in without bothering, he can’t help but feel a little better. Then, the alpha shucks his jacket off over the back of a couch and he remembers that Harry is just as human as he is. “I’m sure you’re wondering how or why I live here.” The alpha starts and Louis is – really – but he thinks that must be rude.

“If you don’t want to tell me you don’t have to.”

“Well I don’t particularly mind.”

“Well, don’t hold back then, curly.” Harry smiles and walks further towards the back windows, closes the blinds and motions for Louis to follow. Something smells really good, he realizes as he walks towards the kitchen with Harry.

“Well I inherited some money from my father. He died the year I graduated from university. I lived in the building a few blocks from yours for a long time, though. Kingsford Flats?” Louis thinks a moment, then realizes. Woah. Those are – those were the flats _Louis_ had walked away from. He can’t help the little smile that tugs at the edges of his lips and he nods. “My job pays well. Plus I helped Liam write a book a year and a half ago, so all of that together makes this.”

“I guess I was just kind of shocked. I mean you’re like – twenty-five?” Harry faux scoffs, puts a hand over his heart and gives Louis a shocked expression. There’s a smile tugging at his lips, though, so Louis knows he’s kidding.

“ _Louis_  I am twenty-four! How dare you rob me of my youth.” Louis giggles and smiles up at the alpha.

“I’m so, so very sorry. I’ll never overestimate your age ever again!” Harry’s still smiling and Louis feels giddy. He feels good in a way he doesn’t think he has in a long time. Harry makes him feel good, makes him forget about the mess in his head and it’s a liberating feeling.

 

After dinner, the two of them are curled up on the couch, Louis resting his head against Harry’s shoulder, while they watch a film. Love, Actually, as Harry had picked. He’d said it was one of his all time favorite films and Louis wanted to watch it just so he could make Harry happy. A deep, instinctual urge to _please_ had buried itself deep inside of Louis’ chest and it was only slightly overwhelming, but in the very best way. It had been a long time since he’d felt strongly enough towards anyone to really consider their feelings so deeply, to want to please them so much, but he _did._ He wanted to be everything for Harry.

He smiled again as he looked over to the screen, focused on the people speaking and yawned. Harry’s fingers had made their way into his hair at some point or another and gently pulled and ran through the strands. He wanted to _purr,_ to tell the alpha that he was more comfortable than he ever had been in that moment. But Harry spoke first, instead.

“You like tired.” He says with a soft smile, “Ready for me to take you home?” Louis nods.

“Carry me?” Harry laughs and Louis feels his entire body light up with the approval. As Harry carries him out to the car and they part ways when he gets to his flat, Louis thinks he could definitely get used to this.

 

 

HARRY.

If Harry had to describe the feeling of being with Louis – he’d say they _fit._ They fit together perfectly in every way that he could have ever asked to fit with an omega. Waking up the next morning, after dropping Louis off at his flat, he feels good. He stares at the ceiling a moment, lets the feeling of being awake again take over his body before he stretches, pulls his arms up over his head and feels the tension seep out of unmoved muscles.

Sleep isn’t crusted in his eyes when he goes to wipe it away on instinct and he doesn’t feel _tired._ He feels good – physically and emotionally - knowing he had a good date and he can only hope that Louis feels the same way. Something about being around the omega makes him feel better than he has in a long while. Science would probably say something about their pheromones being compatible, but Harry thinks he’s just happy.

It’s never happened to him before – having such a strong connection.  It should be weird and unprofessional for him to feel so strongly about someone he’d met through work, but he doesn’t think it is. It’s not like he forced Louis to do anything with him and he certainly didn’t go out of bounds by giving someone his number. He doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with what they’re doing and he can only hope that no one else does, either.

He crawls out of bed and goes to the bathroom, bare feet sinking into the plush carpet of his bedroom floor before he hisses at the feeling of cold tile. There’s silence around the entire house, the only sounds the soft songs of birds fluttering around in the morning sun. He’d never lived outside of the city before he got this house – before he had the chance to start a life he’d never expected to be able to start.

The city had been loud, constantly alive and vibrant, but the country is quiet and calm. Sometimes the city life was exactly what Harry needed – the sounds around him making his head feel evened out with the constantly swirling thoughts. Then there were the parties – the thrumming of music in his veins and the confidence he’d dig out from the bottom of the bottle. The city grounds him, though. Helps him feel like he can handle anything that comes at him because he can always run away to his own quiet little corner of the world.

He brushes his teeth and glances himself over in the mirror for a moment. He looks better, he thinks. The dark circles that had made themselves home beneath his eyes are fading to slight bluish colours and it almost looks like he’s gotten some sun in the last few days. He looks healthy, and for that he’s grateful.

After fixing his hair, he goes back to his room and pulls his mobile off of the charger. There’s a text from Louis that brings a smile to his face when he sees it. _Had a really good night. Hope we can do it again some time xxx_

 

“So, can I see your dog?” Louis asks, sitting in Harry’s passanger side of the car once again. He looks beautiful sitting there, the sun shining in through the windows and making the blues reflect bright off of his eyes. It’s Wednesday – only a few days after their last date – but Harry’s never much cared for the idea of having to wait to have fun. If he and Louis are both willing to see each other again after only a short period of time, he sees no problem with it.

“Of course.” He says with a smile. “He’s really friendly, but like, he’ll probably jump on you an awful lot. I haven’t had much time to train him yet.”

“I love dogs. My family wasn’t ever able to get one since my mum’s allergic, but I used to volunteer at the shelter back in Donny cause I love them so much.”

“What did you get to do?”

“Well most of the time I’d spend was with the dogs that had been there the longest – you know, the ones who no one really wanted? Like the older dogs that didn’t have any energy or the sick ones, or the ones people thought were ugly. I’d sit there and do my course work most of the time, just because they liked the attention, liked getting a cuddle.” Louis’ smile is so wide and he looks so _happy_ that Harry wants him to feel that all the time. He wants Louis happy like this as often as possible. “Sometimes I’d read to them. Get all of the friendly lot together in one of the rooms the families could play with them a bit and just read aloud for them to hear. They’d get so happy, you know? When an old dog looks happy, people like to adopt them. It was a good strategy, I thought.”

“That’s really sweet, Lou. You’re incredible.”

“Not incredible.” The omega says so softly that Harry almost had to strain to hear him. “Just trying to be kind.” He says the second part loud enough for Harry to hear easily and it makes him think that the first part wasn’t meant to be heard. He’s not there to push and he’s not going to make Louis tell him anything he doesn’t want to tell, so he just smiles as he pulls into his driveway once again.

There’s really nothing wrong, in Harry’s mind, about taking Louis back to his house for their dates instead of taking him out around the town. Its more comfortable, less awkward, and more intimate. Having that intimacy outside of the bedroom is something Harry has always craved – to be closer to someone in ways that aren’t sexual. He knows sex is an important part of a relationship – especially between an alpha and an omega – but it doesn’t need to be the _most_ important part.

He undoes Louis’ seatbelt again, getting a bright smile from the omega in response that makes his entire chest feel like it’s lit up. The weather is beautiful out, the sun lowering down in the sky over the trees but not completely down. The grass is still green from the passing spring, the plants around them still vivid with colour and life despite the ever dropping temperatures of the night. It’s his favourite time of the year, he thinks. The in-between of the hot and the cold.

As expected, as soon as Harry opens the garage, Zeus jumps all over Louis, licks his face, and stands on his shoulders. Harry, being much taller than Louis, has always had to kneel down for the husky to be able to do that, but it’s clear that the dog is having more fun than he has in a while being able to just stand right on top of Louis. Louis is laughing, scratching behind the dog’s ears and running his hands all through his fur. “Hi, baby. Hi. You’re cute. Oh, no, not cute. You’re a big manly guy aren’t you?” Louis is saying to the dog, smiling all the while. “Go say hi to your dad. Go on.” The omega says and Zeus runs over to Harry, jumps up several times to demand attention and only quiets down when Harry scratches his head.

“Are you hungry? I could make us something to eat. Or we could watch another film. Or..”

“Sure. Can I help?” Louis lights up when Harry nods and it feels like Harry is _home._

 

Louis found an apron in the bottom drawer of Harry’s cutlery cabinet and wrapped it around himself, grinning as he did. It was a deep red colour that contrasted perfectly against the blue sweatshirt and black trakkies that Louis was wearing. “Can I take a picture of you?” Harry found himself asking before he could really think about it. Louis quirked an eyebrow and put his hands on his hips.

“Sure. But you gotta make sure my arse looks good, like.” He grabbed the handle of the pot that was sitting on the hob, turned it so that the food looked more appetizing from the angle Harry was standing at, then grabbed a wooden spoon. “Yeah. Go ahead.” This was the side of Louis Harry loved the most, wanted to see more of. The smiley, playful side that only came out in little snarky comments that would often be followed by pink-tinted cheeks from embarrassment.

Harry opened his camera app and took a picture of Louis, but he really didn’t focus on his arse. Instead he tried to get the best picture of his smile and the way his eyes crinkled with emotion when he was smiling and the happiness in his face in that moment. He tried to capture the way he saw Louis.

“Let me see?” Louis asked when he took his phone down, setting down the spoon and leaning his head against Harry’s arm. He tilted the phone towards the omega and watched as his face changed when he looked at the screen. “Oh, wow.” There was a smile pulling at the edge of his lips. “Thank you, Harry.”

 

Two weeks later, Harry is so sure that he and Louis fit together perfectly. He’s starting to think that Louis has different ideas on what exactly it is that they are, but he doesn’t mind. If Louis just wants them to remain friends, well, he’s not going to complain. Having the chance to be around Louis and spend time with him is more than enough. He doesn’t need Louis as his mate or his boyfriend to be happy. He can be plenty happy just spending time with him.

They’re sitting on the recliner instead of the couch this time, since the footrest pops out, and Louis is lounging on Harry’s lap. He has his feet thrown over the side of the couch and his back against Harry’s chest and his arm, letting Harry’s hand rest right against Louis’ belly. It’s much more comfortable than Harry had thought it would be, but it’s even better when Louis turns around every once and a while to steal little glances of Harry.

“I think I’m going to fall asleep.” Harry says with a soft, airy laugh. “Do you want to stay the night?” Louis’ body tenses, but it’s only just for a brief second. Harry almost thinks he’s overstepped a boundary – a silent boundary that he should have picked up on – before Louis’ body is relaxing and he giggles.

“Oi, you can’t just expect me to stay over, Mr.Big-Bad-Alpha. What kind of girl d’you think I am?” Louis says with a giggle in his voice. Harry’s long since learned that Louis’ way of accepting something he’s not sure if he should is through sarcasm.

“I think you’re the best kind, who would be more than pleased watching an alpha make up their bed in the guest room and making them breakfast in the morning.” Louis purses his lips, almost like he’s actually considering it.

“Well when you put it that way.” He nods and shuffles around on Harry’s lap. “But you’re going to have to carry me. I just won’t stand for bare minimum hospitality, Mr.Styles.” Harry grins again and nods, scoops Louis up into his arms and carries him up the stairs.

“How’s this one?” He asks about the first of two guest rooms.

“It’s nice. Where’s yours, though? Want to be close to yours.” Harry nods immediately. He knows Louis rarely ever announces his own vulnerability like that, never tells anyone that he wants or needs someone to look after him.

“My rooms at the end of the hall on the left. You can come in and get me any time you need to, you know that, right?”

“Thank you, Harry.” Louis says with a smile so bright that Harry feels like he’s done so much more than he really has. “Now, to my room.”

 

Harry wakes up to the sound of shattering glass.

He’s startled and jumps out of bed, pulls his gun from the bedside drawer beside his bed and runs over to the kitchen. The moment he sees Louis, though, he sets the gun down and his entire instinctual reaction is just to _protect._

He’s sitting on the floor – curled up in himself with his knees pulled to his chest. His feet are bloody, resting on shards of glass from a mug that he assumes he’d dropped. There are patches of bright red skin on his feet, too, and he thinks he might have burned himself. He’s crying, too, sobbing and rocking himself back and forth.

“Lou? Louis? It’s me – it’s Harry.” He says softly, unsure of what headspace the omega had fallen into. Maybe it was a bad idea, welcoming someone with obvious traumas into an unfamiliar place to sleep in. He should have asked. He should have gone further to make sure that he was going to be okay before he just _expected_ and didn’t even give the omega the option to have a way out.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He says with a sniffle.

“Can I touch you?” The omega nods and Harry pulls him up into his arms, gets him away from the glass before the cuts get any worse.

“I’m sorry.” He says again and Harry shakes his head.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. Can you tell me what happened?”

“Dunno.” Louis says with a sniffle, wipes his eyes as Harry sets him on top of the counter. It’s only half three in the morning, but he really doesn’t mind. No matter how much the little omega thinks he does. “Like – I woke up and decided I wanted some tea. Then I think like, I heard something and freaked out. I don’t remember what it was or –“ Then there’s a noise from the garage and Louis jumps again, his entire body tense and unsure.

“Is that what scared you, love?” He nods. “That’s Zeus, love. I left him in there cause I wasn’t sure if you liked dogs to come bother you in bed or not. He likes to sleep with anyone in bed.” Louis gives a little smile and it reaches his eyes, so Harry takes it as a win. “I’m going to get the glass out of your feet, okay? It’s probably going to hurt a little.”

“I don’t even know how that happened. I don’t – I don’t remember walking on the glass.” There’s quite a bit of blood on the bottoms of Louis’ feet and it looks terribly painful, but Harry keeps his face straight so he doesn’t worry the omega. All of the cuts are just shallow and won’t need any real medical attention, just some plasters and peroxide.

“Don’t worry about it, okay? It’s really not a problem.” He gets a flannel from a drawer beside the sink and gets it wet, then rings out the extra water.

“You sure?”

“Promise.” Louis smiles again and nods, even though he winces each time Harry pulls a little shard of the shattered mug out of his feet. “Almost there, love.” Louis nods and Harry pulls out the last piece he can really see, then runs the damp cloth over the soles of his feet.

“Would it be okay if I slept with you? Zeus can come too, if you want him to. I just. I don’t want to be alone right now.”

“Of course. Do you want tea still? I can make you some up if you want to take the dog up to my room.” Louis smiles and nods shyly, then goes to the garage and lets the dog out. Harry watches him as he walks up the stairs, trying not to feel too terrible about the way he’s limping. He could _definitely_ get used to this.

He hates that Louis is ill and he hates that the omega is suffering, but every part of his instincts are telling him to protect – and he’ll do anything he needs to in order to do so.

 

 

LOUIS.

It’s been over a week since Louis’ seen Harry. A week shouldn’t feel as long as it does, shouldn’t feel like Louis is slowly crumbling apart just from not being able to see Harry, but it feels like an eternity that he wants to end more than anything. It isn’t healthy for him to be this dependant on Harry, he knows that, but he can’t help it. Over the time he’s been back in the real world, Harry has been his rock. Everything about him reminds him that he’s real, he’s safe, and everything will be all right no matter what.

It’s that, he thinks, that makes it so difficult to watch Harry go. Harry had to go to Bristol to investigate another case, and it’s lonely. They text and call regularly, of course, and Harry even makes the time to facetime him every day on his lunch break. It’s enough to hold Louis over, to make the loneliness not feel all consuming, but he wants to be with Harry in person again. Being with him in person is so much better than just talking over the phone, but it’s enough. He has to remind himself that he can’t take too much, can’t overwhelm the alpha. So he pretends he’s fine.

Well, maybe it’s not pretending. He really is _fine,_ in the literal definition. He isn’t thinking about killing himself and he doesn’t think that Marcus is standing outside of his door (at least not today), but he’s also not _happy_ like he gets with Harry. The alpha can’t know that, though. Louis refuses to let him sacrifice his work to make Louis happy.

They’re talking on the phone, Harry chatting about how he’s just about got the most recent case solved. He can’t talk details, since most of it is confidential, but he happily talks about everything that he can legally disclose to Louis. Louis grins and tries to respond as best as he can.

It turns out that the alpha is really, _really_ passionate about his work in ways that Louis hadn’t really understood before.

It’s not long before Harry is being ushered back to work and he has to end their conversation, but it’s enough. It’s enough to make Louis feel happy and satisfied. Harry is just a bit of an addiction for him, his happiness and his love of life two things that Louis thrives off of.

When he gets the _goodnight x_ texts around two in the morning and knows that Harry is tucked away in his hotel room, ready to sleep, he lets himself sleep, too. It’s in his nature to nurture those he cares for, and no matter how many times he’s heard that an alpha’s purpose is to protect their omega, he’s never once heard of an omega that can sleep soundly without knowing an alpha they care for this deeply is safe, too. It’s a mutal feeling, to want to protect.

 

It’s one of those nights, three days before Harry had said he would probably be back, and he’s wide awake, panting with sweat matted hair. The nightmares aren’t as bad when Harry’s around – but when he’s alone, they’re unbearable. He wakes up unable to breathe some night, paralyzed by the fear as he feels like he’s being held down by some invisible force. It usually lasts an entirety of about ten seconds, but each time it feels like hours and hours. He rarely wakes up screaming, but he thinks that would be better than waking up frozen.

That night it had been about Harry. It’s the first time since he’s gotten back home that a nightmare has been about something happening to someone other than him. The ones where he’s inches from death are bad, but this one left him shaking and trembling and reaching for his anti-anxiety medication with trembling fingers.

It had been Harry that time – surrounded by people he’d investigated and gotten put in jail – and they killed him. Hurt him, hurt him, _hurt him_ until he just went still. Louis woke up screaming that time, teary eyes and a racing heart. He wants nothing more than to be able to cuddle up with the alpha, to scent him and have his hands rub at his back and tell him it’s all okay.

He just – he doesn’t have it in him to tell Harry how miserable he feels in the nights when he’s alone, because that feels wrong. He doesn’t want the alpha to feel obligated to deal with him, to bother with his fucked up head when he has a life of his own that he needs to tend to.

So he swallows down two of the pills and sits up in bed. It’s only half five – far before he usually gets up these days – but he’s due to therapy in a few hours, so he decides to get up anyway. A part of him wants to just stay in bed and let the fear of everything around him take over, consume his head and just let it happen, but he can’t.

He forces himself out of bed. Niall is standing in the kitchen, pouring out two cuppas and Louis smiles softly. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you up this early, blondie.” Louis teases, but his voice is still raw. He knows the scent of fear is probably what woke Niall, but he also knows that he won’t say anything about it.

“Shut it, tommo, or I’ll put sugar in your tea.” They sit together on the couch. Louis cuddles up with his friend for a few hours, before the omega is due to go to work, and he feels much better. Niall is the kind of friend he doesn’t think he deserves in any way at all. He’s the kind of person that someone only meets once in their life and he was lucky enough to be able to call him his best mate.

The little things like that make each day worth waking up for.

 

“How are you feeling today, Louis?” Mary is a beta woman, a few years older than him, with a gentle voice and soft looking brown eyes. Her office is painted a dull blue colour that becomes only slightly more vivid with the light streaming in from the half-opened blinds. There are several certificates adorning the walls, all as if to say she has the right to tell him his head isn’t in the right space and smack a label on exactly the kind of fucked up he is.

She’s easy to talk to, though, and Louis thinks he’s lucky to have been given such a good therapist on the first try. He’s been told that several times throughout the last month, but he’s still been more of a pain than he probably should have been. He knows that some sessions are more successful than others, because his head just isn’t always in the space it needs to be to discuss what he really needs to talk about.

The last session, he’d managed to fill the entire time talking about how he feels when Harry touches him. She’d managed to do her thing with her degree with that, telling him that he’d formed some kind of attachment with Harry that he needed to consider, but he hadn’t been in the headspace to listen. Just to talk.

It’s the same thing as usual, today, but he doesn’t feel like he’ll be able to listen or talk today. It’s one of those days he’d much rather just stay in bed and sleep until he can forget about everything. He thinks that’s one of the reasons he has to come out here so often, just to get him out bed. It’s probably not a bad idea, actually.

“You know, good as usual.” She quirks an eyebrow and a smile plays at her lips. She doesn’t believe him, but Louis doesn’t believe himself either, so it’s all right. Louis has learned already that she isn’t just going to accept his bullshit and pretend he’s fragile. She likes to push and make him open up in ways he probably wouldn’t if he wasn’t somewhat forced to do so. His mum had been appauled with that – said it was a terrible approach and tried to get him to swap to someone else, but this woman is _specialized in omega behaviour,_ and he kind of enjoys her method, so he stays.

Her method really is good. He just doesn’t like talking about himself – never has and he doesn’t think he ever will – but he’s been told it all comes with practice.

“Good as usual, hm?” She crosses her legs and Louis just hums.

“Yup.”

“I’m sure you know what I’m going to say next, Louis. You’ve been seeing me three times a week for a month now.” He knows. God, he knows. It eats him alive with guilt to know that his mum is pouring so much money into all of this but he’s so unwilling to open up. He just doesn’t like talking about things because then he has to think about them and thinking about them makes them real. He doesn’t want the things that happened to be real, so ignoring them is really the only solution he’s come up with.

“You can’t help me if I pretend everything’s fine – yeah. But like, everythings the same as it was before. So. What’s there to talk about it?”

“That’s certainly something to talk about. Have you noticed any improvement? How about with Harry?”

“Harry’s still the only alpha I feel comfortable with coming in my like, personal space. He um, I think he’s worried because we haven’t like – done anything yet. So I’m a bit scared that he’ll feel like I don’t want anything more with him, even though I really do.”

“Have you told him this?”

“No!” He says a little too loud and flinches at his own outburst. “I don’t want him to think I’m crazy.” The look on her face alone is enough to tell him that it’s not a healthy or an acceptable way to think, but he can’t help it. “I should tell him, shouldn’t I?”

“Well, I think it would be better to do so if you really do want to develop a relationship with him beyond friendship. But your trauma might not even allow that. It’s something you will have to work for, Louis. You have to be willing. He has to be willing to help.”

He sighs.

Whatever.

 

The session doesn’t really go anywhere after that, but it leaves Louis feeling on edge and unsure. Niall picks him up and when he gets into the car, he finally starts crying. Niall shuts the car off and strokes his hands through his hair as he cries, the sobs shaking his body. “I want so much with Harry, but I can’t. I can’t – he can’t even fucking touch me properly without me having a problem. I trust him so much, but I just – I can’t! It’s not fair. I don’t know what to do, Niall. I’m scared and nervous all the time and I don’t think anyone deserves to have to put up with that and it’s so selfish that I want Harry to have to. I just –“

“Louis, you’re going to be fine. I really don’t know much of what’s going on between you two – but if you trust him this much, I’m here to support you all the way. I’m always here for you, Lou, no matter what.” He nods and cuddles closely with Niall for a few more minutes before the cries turn to sniffles.

“I’m sorry for freaking out like that. Can we go home now?” Niall gives a smile and nods. He hates that they’ve grown apart in the most recent months, but he also knows that it’s his own fault. He just doesn’t handle conversations well anymore and when he does, it’s usually not with Niall.

“I miss you, Lou.”

“I miss you too, Ni. We should have a lads night tonight, just the two of us.” He thinks it’s long past due for one, for a night where they can just drink and watch a film together. He misses the nights when they could go out on the town and just be young, but he hopes that Niall understands that he just _can’t._ “I’ll order in some thai food, then we can watch a film or play some fifa?”

“Yeah, Lou. That sounds really nice.”

 

Louis laughs more than he has in a long while. Niall knows exactly what to say to make him smile and feel better than anyone else. He thinks it might be because Niall hasn’t changed like everyone else seems to have. He treats him like the same Louis that he was before – he doesn’t act like he’s more fragile or like a single, misplaced word, would make him shatter. They’ve been friends for so long that the long moments of silence aren’t really uncomfortable anymore, either, and one of them will eventually just fill it by throwing something at the other. It’s the kind of dynamic that makes Louis feel whole again.

They’ve always got along perfectly and Louis is so grateful for Niall being his friend. “Lou?”

“Hm?” He asks, sipping at his beer. He’s harbouring on the edge of drunk, hanging right on that edge of tipsy. He’d been advised to stay away from alcohol in case it became a dependency, a way to deal with his fucked up head, but he has never liked the feeling of being drunk, so he doesn’t worry about it. He just likes being tipsy, feeling just a bit warmer than usual.

“You don’t have to tell me, but if you ever want to like – talk about what happened. I’m here to listen, you know? I know you get nightmares and you’re always welcome in my bed, like I say every time you come sleep with me, but if you ever just need to get anything off your chest, I’m here for you. Always.” It’s not the first time that Niall has brought _it_ up, but he hasn’t yet learned how to respond to anyone who does. It’s such a weird thing, to have other people acknowledge that something happened out loud. He likes to just ignore it and pretend it never happened, but he knows he can’t. He knows that everyone else worries about him and no matter how much he wishes that no one would worry, he knows he can’t help that, either. It’s just one of those things that he’ll have to get used to.

“I’ll tell you one day, Ni. I promise.” Niall runs his hands through Louis’ hair. He hums in acknowledgement, never pushing Louis to tell him anything he’s not ready to do. It’s always been like that. About everything, from his first kiss, to the first time he almost fucked an alpha, to this. He’s listened to him whine about being a virgin and he’s listened to him complain about too-touchy alphas and he’s heard Niall complain about everything, too, but neither of them push. It’s an unspoken rule between the two of them that they’ll just say whatever is needed, whenever they’re ready. “’s just hard for me to talk about it cause like – I don’t know. Maybe after the trial I’ll tell you.”

“Oh, yeah. When is that anyway?”

“Nine days.” Louis says, mouth suddenly feeling a little dry. Niall puts his hand over the top of Louis’ and it’s more reassurance than anything verbal ever could have been. “Harry comes back tomorrow. I want you to meet him soon. Would you be okay with that?”

“Yeah! I’d really like to meet him for more than like, the ten minutes we saw each other the first time.”

“We’ll have to figure out a time. I’m probably going to keep him to myself for a while, though.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything different.” Louis punches Niall in the shoulder and gets a face full of popcorn in return.

For a moment, he thinks he’s all right.

 

 

HARRY.

The brave face Louis has put on as they walk into the court room astounds Harry. He looks strong, stands tall and sure as they go in and take their seats. Harry is with him only by Louis’ request, since he’d normally be testifying. But he’d given that right over to Liam, his second in command, when he’d realized that his personal relationship with Louis could be considered conflictual evidence in a case this high profile. He’s not worried. Liam knows the case just as well as he does, inside out, just the way he had hoped him to.

“I’d like to call Louis Tomlinson up to the stand.” The defence attorney says with a stern voice and Louis entire body goes stiff. He’d known he would have to go to the stand, he’d known he would have to look Marcus in the eye one last time while he told the world of all of the terrible things that had happened to him while he was trapped in that house, but Harry can tell that the reality must be so much worse for him.

“You’re going to be fine. I’m right here. Look at me, yeah?” Harry says and squeezes Louis’ shoulder assuringly as the omega stands and forces himself up to the stand. There’s a microphone there and he has to adjust it after he sits so it’s closer to his mouth and clears his throat.

“I uh,” Louis starts, his voice shaking. Harry can tell that he is uncomfortable sitting on the stand and he leans forward ever so slightly, a protective instinct to try and be closer to him even when he’s not allowed to be. “Um, when I first – sorry.” His voice is trembling, still, and Harry can see that his entire body is.

“You’re all right, Louis. Take your time.” The judge says from the stand, giving a sympathetic smile. Harry’s appreciative, at least, that he isn’t being pushy. There’s nothing worse than to push an omega in a fragile state like this.

“When I first got there, David Dundry was the only other omega who was there. Um, he uh,” He scans around the crowd for a moment, but the smell of panic is slowly creeping through the room. “He made me promise I would never – never let his parents know what happened to him in that room.” A sob rattles through the courtroom and Harry’s head turns to see David’s mother – the woman he’d seen so little of but been left with such a message. She was crying, then, and her alpha had an arm around her.

“I don’t like to break my promises. But, um,” Louis starts again, this time sounding a little more hesitant, “I guess I uh, I guess they should have the right to know everything that happened to their son and all of you should have the right to judge Marcus for yourselves, for what he put me and two other omegas through. I have a feeling what happened is already well enough known, anyway.” Louis gives a little laugh, but it’s not out of humor. It sounds like pure nerves releasing themselves from Louis’ body. He’s never seen Louis this nervous outside of an actual panic attack. Which – oh. Harry’s instincts are on a high, suddenly buzzing as he watches Louis.

He’s  - oh, shit.

Louis’ voice is slower than it usually is, the tone gone mostly flat and unemotional. “Um, David was… he had this…” Harry is up and running over to Louis before anyone else realizes what’s happening, he thinks, because there’s yelling and someone telling him to stop, but when Louis falls over, he catches him.

“You’re okay.” He says softly to the omega in his arms. “It’s okay.”

“I think… a recess is in order.” The judge says and smacks down his gavel. Harry still has Louis in is arms, the omega coming in and out of awareness. Harry bites his lip and looks to the crowd where David’s mother and Louis’ parents are staring at him with uncertainty.

“You can go down, Lou. I’ll be here to bring you up in a few minutes.” That’s all it takes for the boy in his arms to go limp, his body soft and breathing even. It wasn’t really smart of him to do what he did – to run up to the front of a court room like that – but there’s something about this omega that makes him want to forgo every rule that society has places upon him.

Jay comes over as the judge goes into the backroom, crouches down and sits beside the two of them. “You could tell my son was dropping before I could.” She says first, her eyes filling with slight tears. “Louis has been so reserved since… I just. I appreciate that you two have bonded so much in that time but is it really – is it really appropriate? Don’t you think he sees you as something other than a normal alpha? Since you saved him in his mind?”

“With all due respect, ma’am. I don’t think so. If he does, I haven’t been manipulating that power to get him to like me; we’re just like any other normal set of friends. We aren’t… he hasn’t made any notion that he wants to be more than friends either, so I’m not worried.” He realizes how false that sounds as he continues to sit on the ground with the omega in his lap, nose pressed against his neck, but it’s not a lie. Of course they’ve been on dates – but he hasn’t kissed Louis and Louis hasn’t made any advances, either. He’s not sure what’s to come out of it – if anything – but he can see where Jay’s concern is coming from.

She sighs softly and looks down at her son before moving a strand of hair from her face. “I wouldn’t – I wouldn’t have a problem with it, if you two did. You’re obviously well off and have the means to provide for him. You know of his past and his troubles. I suppose it’s just a mother’s job to worry.”

“I understand, Mrs. Tomlinson.”

“Are you going to bring him back up soon?”

“Yeah. I’m going to take him to the cafeteria and get a water bottle for when he wakes up first, though.” The omega in front of him stares at him long and hard, an expression even Harry can’t read etched into her features, but then she nods.

“I appreciate that you helped him calm down like that.” He gives a gentle smile in return and watches as she walks off towards her alpha.

 

The cafeteria is in the basement of the courthouse, and it’s entirely empty aside from a single employee typing away at her cell phone behind a cash register. He carried Louis to the elevator and set him down at one of the tables before grabbing a bottle of water from a vending machine.

“Louis,” He says softly and watches as the omega twitches. He sits beside the omega and pulls him to his lap again, “Lou, you can come back up now. It’s okay. Everything’s all right.” He twitches again, but then his eyes blink open and he looks up at Harry.

“Hi.” He says softly and smiles.

“Hi. Here, drink this.” He hands him the water after uncapping the bottle and he takes a long drink before setting it back on the table.

“Thank you for um, for doing that for me.” He says softly, a pinkish tint to his cheeks. “I was about to have a panic attack and you stopped it. Thank you.” Harry nods with a soft smile.

“You never have to thank me, Lou. I’m always going to be here to help you, all right?”

“All right.” Louis bites his bottom lip between his teeth and Harry quirks an eyebrow, waiting for the omega to say what’s on his mind.

“What’re you thinking about, Lou?”

“I don’t um, I don’t want to go back up there. Not if I have to – I mean. I, uh, I obviously want Marcus to go to jail. But like, I don’t think I can testify.”

“Do you think it would be better if I had the judge ask David’s parents to step out while you spoke? So you’re not breaking your promise?” Louis’ eyes widen a bit, like he’s seriously considering the proposition.

“No, I think I’d rather just do a written testimony, if that’s okay.”

“That’s fine, Lou. I think the jury saw enough of how much emotional distress you were put through to already have won our case.” Louis nods and lays his head back against Harry’s shoulder. This isn’t something that only friends do – especially not between an alpha and an omega – but it is a HarryandLouis thing to do. They haven’t really followed any of the usually steps to their relationship, so he doesn’t think it matters too much if they’re a little unorthodox.

 

Liam reads Louis’ statement aloud when the recess ends and the omega sits close beside Harry. Each statement really hits home and he can even see the distress in Liam’s face as each sentence is read. “The first thing I was told when I woke up next to David was that if I could sacrifice myself to my captor’s desire is that I could, hopefully, save other omegas from the same fate.” Harry feels his heart plummet in his chest as Liam reads the words from the page and Louis looks pale.

Harry thinks the worst part is that Marcus’ face is void of any emotion at all. He looks perfectly content to just sit there and let the world hear about how he kidnapped and tortured omegas for his own twisted fantasy.

“Your honour, my client was not in a stable state of mind when he committed these crimes. An illegal broken bond can deteriorate the mental state of any alpha and he fell victim to his own biology.” The defence attorney tries.

“His work history of continuing to work and be a stable member of society for eighteen months after the departure of his omega disputes that claim.” The prosecution responds and Harry ends up just tuning it all out to focus on Louis. It’s clear that the omega is still dazed, fragile and probably scared, but Harry just wants him to feel better.

Louis had tried to crawl into Harry’s lap at some point, but the officer in the room had told the two of them that it was inappropriate behaviour for a trial. Harry is rubbing soothing little circles at the small of Louis’ back as the prosecutor goes to the front and goes through the rest of the evidence, brings up a few pictures, and shows every damning piece of evidence against the piece of shit alpha sitting in front of them.

The jury goes into a back room after all of the evidence is heard and Harry and Louis sit outside on one of the benches lining the hallway. Louis is sitting on his lap now, rules be dammed, as Harry continues to rub circles on his back. It feels like they’re in place – a friend comforting a friend in need. “What do you think they’re going to decide?”

“I have a feeling they’ll give him the death penalty, just out of my experience of going to these trials.” Louis winces and Harry strokes his fingers through his hair. “You all right?”

“It’s like – I know he did so much bad to me and those other two omegas – but I don’t think anyone deserves to die. I think it’s worse punishment for him to have to sit in prison like the three of us had to, anyway.” Harry nods. “That’s such a terrible thing to say, isn’t it? Like, my head’s so fucked.”

“Hey, hey, no it’s not. You have every right to think like that. Every right, Louis. Since there were omegas involved in this case, there were omegas in the jury, too. So you might get that wish. Lots of omegas think that way. Nurturers by instinct, you lot are. So, don’t worry, okay?”

Marcus is sentenced to life without the chance of parole.

Louis kisses him in celebration.

 

 

 

 

LOUIS.

He’s leaning against Harry, sitting on his lap and just listening to the alpha’s heart beat as he watches him play candy crush on his phone. Harry is warm where Louis is cold, a natural alpha trait that Louis has always been jealous of. It makes him feel safe, warm on both the inside and out, to be so close to the alpha like this.

It’s loud as people pass by them in a blur of motion, but the two of them are waiting until the press outside leave. He knows he’s a part of a big case, and the constant, never ending, phone calls give him more anxiety than he’s ever asked for. They only want to ask questions, but he doesn’t want to be on the news. He doesn’t want the public to see his face and have that sympathy for him.

So they’re waiting.

Harry said that he doesn’t mind waiting with him, and it’s only been an hour since the trial ended, but he already feels bad for keeping him here. He feels like he’s doing nothing but putting the alpha out, making him do too much. He doesn’t know where these feelings are coming from, but they’re strong and hard to ignore.

Harry seems to sense his mood change and runs his fingers through Louis’ hair. It silences the thoughts and he lets himself lean into the touch, lets himself enjoy the way Harry’s fingers feel in his hair, lets them comfort him. His eyes snap open when there’s another voice, addressing the two of them.

“Would the two of you like to go out tonight with Zayn and I?” Liam asks, finding the two of them in the hallway after he’s cleared everything up in the court room. He looks as happy as Louis feels – or maybe as happy as he _should_ feel, because he doesn’t really feel anything. He’s only seen Liam that one time – but he isn’t intimidated by him. Perhaps that’s something to do with the fact that Harry trusts him.

“Um,” Harry says and looks over at Louis. He freezes, as two pairs of eyes look at him expectantly, waiting for an answer from him. It’s uncomfortable, he thinks, but he’s probably just over thinking it. It’s an invite, not him being forced, right? But what if him not wanting to go makes Harry not go? He doesn’t want to be the reason that the alpha is trapped and isolated from his circle of friends and he certainly doesn’t - “I’ll let you know later, all right?” Liam nods and walks away at that, and Harry reaches out hesitantly, then lays a hand over Louis’ that is sitting on his lap, against his thigh. “Hey,” He says softly. “You’re nervous. Talk to me. What’s up?”

“Um,” He swallows. “I just like, I want to go out and stuff but uh,”

“If you’re not ready yet it’s all right, Lou. No one’s forcing you to go.”

“But you want to go.”

“Yes, I do. But you also don’t have to think that you’re holding me back. Liam, Zayn, and I have a lads night every Thursday. We have for the last eight years. It’s really not a problem if you don’t come out with us.” Louis smiles and nods.

“I think I’d like to go, but no where too…”

“Of course not. I won’t let us overwhelm you, pet.”

 

They go out to a restaurant that might also be a pub – but they have more than shite finger food and for that, Louis is happy. He’s starving – the stress of the case that morning having kept him from really being able to eat, and it’s finally catching up to him. Harry’s arm is wrapped tightly around his waist, holding him close, and that’s exactly what Louis has wanted for the entire time. He’s wanted Harry to hold him and touch him like they aren’t just friends.

“Are you hungry, pet?” Harry asks and Louis nods. Harry strokes his fingers through Louis’ hair and he leans into the touch – feeling safe and care for around Harry. Harry fights away any inhibitions he has around alphas – breaks them down and makes him feel safe. He’s grateful for it.

“I’m getting drinks. What do you get, Louis?” Liam asks with a curious glance between him and Harry. He knows they probably look like a couple – he secretly hopes they do – but they aren’t. Maybe Liam knows that and that’s the cause of the skeptical look. He doesn’t want to think about it, though.

“Just whatever they have on tap, thanks.” He says with a small smile. Liam gives a short nod and walks off towards the bar. Harry pulls him closer, so that their thighs are touching against each other as he draws little circles on Louis’ arm with his pointer finger. It’s cute in a way that he doesn’t think he’s ever considered an alpha to be. “Hi.” He breathes out and gets a dimpled smile from Harry in return.

His stomach twists with how much he wants Harry, with how much he wants him in every way, and then again with the pain of not being able to. He can’t drag Harry into his life, not when his head is like this.

“Hi.” Harry says before his attention is drawn away by Liam coming back. He’s got someone with him, another alpha, and Louis tenses. “Louis, this is Zayn. He works with me, too, and he and Liam are mated.” Hearing that Harry knows this other alpha makes the anxiety seep away from his body, lets his muscles release the tension as he takes in the words. His eyebrows furrow a moment and Zayn seems to pick up on his confusion, because he laughs a bit.

“I know, it’s a bit weird for two alphas to be mated, yeah?” Louis doesn’t say anything for a moment, but he eventually finds the words that he wants to say.

“No, not weird. Love is love and all that, just. I’ve never seen it before.” This makes Zayn smile and Louis feels better. Maybe he can fit in, even if it is a little unorthodox for an omega to be in a group of alphas. Maybe next time he’ll see if he can invite Niall if the four of them spend any time together. A second omega might balance the dynamic out a little bit. “Thanks for the drink, by the way.” He says, voice suddenly small like he’s about to have a panic attack.

But. He’s not. He feels fine and air is coming to his lungs like normal. He feels fine and – it’s weird. He’s never been shy, not once in his life has he ever been known to be the quiet, submissive omega-type. Harry seems to pick up on that as soon as he does and looks over at him with a concerned glance.

His stomach twists a bit, but he ignores it. He’s fine.

This is his first night out in far too long and he refuses to ruin it.

 

It’s an hour later and Louis feels good. He feels like all of his anxieties are floating away and he’s smiled more in the last few minutes than he has in weeks. It’s the alcohol, he thinks, because he doesn’t even feel the anxiety that comes with letting go like this.

He went and bought the second round, settling for getting the beer on tap for everyone since he doesn’t really have much money, and carried all of them back to the table. Harry hadn’t touched his for a minute, but he didn’t worry. Until it was Zayn’s turn to buy the next round and he still hadn’t.

“You okay, Haz?” He asks, leans his head against his shoulder. “No one said you were the driver.” It’s a tease, he knows, but it’s loaded. He wants to know if Harry is okay, and the buzz going through his head is doing the perfect job of making him unashamed in asking those kinds of questions.

“I’m fine, pet. I have work in the morning, don’t want a hang over.” Liam shoots Harry a look and Louis really shouldn’t say anything, he shouldn’t, but he just – he can’t help it.

“What was that look? Am I missing something? Did I do something wrong?” This makes Harry’s eyebrows furrow, a look of confusion clearly etched into his features.

“What? No, no. You didn’t. It’s fine.” Louis just pouts and takes that as his answer, but the look Liam gives him _again_ really does make him upset. He’s overly emotional, for some reason, and he doesn’t like it. He feels off and it’s not from the alcohol. He’s never been an emotional drinker, more of a fun drinker. Niall says he’s the life of any party he goes to and it’s really just – he decides to ignore it.

“’Kay.” He says after a minute and goes back to leaning against Harry’s shoulder, breathes in his scent and lets it make him feel calm once again.

 

When it’s Harry’s turn to buy drinks, Zayn is staring at him. Liam’s gone to the loo and Louis feels… out of place. They’ve eaten and talked a bit. Louis and Harry are leaving after this last round, since it’s finally Harry’s turn to buy and no one can go without buying once, but it’s been a while since he’s had his last drink, so Louis doesn’t feel as tipsy now. “Why are you staring at me?” He asks after a minute or so, more than uncomfortable with the alpha.

“Listen,” Zayn says softly, not answering his question, “You’ve not known Harry as long as I have, and I know you think you’re the only one with… issues, or whatever.” Louis furrows his eyebrows. “Harry likes you. He hasn’t liked anyone like this in a long, long time, and I want you to think long and hard about how you’re playing him, Louis. I know you’ve been through some shit, and I know you probably think you’re doing what’s best for Harry by pushing him away, but just know that Harry falls hard and fast because he doesn’t fall often. If you hurt him –“ Zayn pauses, takes a breath, and continues after almost a full minute. Louis feels frozen. “It’ll hurt him more than you can think. He may be an alpha, but he’s always been a feeler. Don’t exploit him, okay?”

Louis doesn’t say anything, he just gets up and goes to the loo.

He runs the water and looks at himself in the mirror, stares at the bags that have formed under his eyes from the lack of a full nights sleep. His hair looks thinner than it ever has and he knows it’s because it’s been falling out because he doesn’t have the energy to make himself eat anything. He eats everything Niall gives him, but when he isn’t fed, he doesn’t eat. It’s too much work to care for himself.

He splashes some water on his face and tries to digest everything that Zayn said to him. He doesn’t – it’s such a weird thing to feel like the enemy. That’s what he feels like, then. Harry’s friends think he’s exploiting him and he doesn’t – he isn’t trying to. He wants nothing more than to make Harry happy because he’s never felt such a strong connection with an alpha – even when he wasn’t nervous all the time.

His eyes are filling with tears that he didn’t want to let happen – so he splashes more water on his face and breathes through it. _It’s a symptom of your PTSD, Louis. You’re reactions to seemingly insignificant events will be amplified beyond what they should be, even with your omega nature._ His therapist’s voice says in the back of his head. He doesn’t want it. He didn’t ask for this.

Everything feels like too much and he wants Harry but he can’t – he can’t keep exploiting him like this. As soon as Zayn had pointed out what he was doing, it felt so obvious. He was using Harry – using him as a safe guard and not giving him what he was so clearly seeking. The alpha clearly wanted a relationship, wanted something that Louis’ not sure he can offer, no matter how much he wants it. He’d thought he was just looking out for Harry, trying to avoid that situation where one day they’d be happily together and Louis wouldn’t let him touch him. Then he’d gone and kissed Harry and showed the entire world that he was being a _user_ and the worst kind of all.

His stomach coils again and he stumbles into the disabled stall of the bathroom and locks the door. He checks it eight times, pulls and pushes and pulls and pushes until he’s certain that it won’t open. The walls are big enough and the knowledge that he can open the door when he wants reminds him that he isn’t going to be crushed by the too-close walls.

He doesn’t want to sit on the floor, but his knees feel weak. Everything feels weak and his arms are starting to get the prickles that mean he’s about to panic. His head is spinning and he feels warm – too hot, burning. He reaches into his pocket for his phone, hands trembling, and dials Niall’s number. Niall will know what to do. His hands are shaking as he moves the phone up to his ear and he drops it, right in to the toilet.

That’s what makes the tears finally fall.

“Louis?” He hears Harry’s voice, “Lou, it’s Harry. It’s me. Are you okay?”

“I’m sorry.” He chokes out.

“Lou, pet, I think you’re um, I think you’re going into heat. Is that why you’re a bit emotional?”

“I’m not – I’m not, no, no.” He doesn’t want to be. He _can’t._ He’s – fuck. He hadn’t even considered that as a possibility, the fear of going into heat making him forget exactly how possible it is for an alpha’s scent that he trusts to send him over the brink of heat when he’s only a few days out.

“Can you come out for me, pet? I’m going to take you home now.” His hands are still shaking but he undoes the lock. Harry goes to touch him, goes to pull him into an embrace and he stumbles backwards, trips over his own feet and falls onto his arse. Harry looks panicked and Louis is terrified.

He feels dizzy and lightheaded, like he’s floating away. Harry gets father away from him slowly, and the corners of his vision go a bit black as he tries to focus on his face. His mouth is moving, but it just sounds like a gentle hum.

Darkness takes over quickly and he feels calm.

 

 

 

HARRY.

Watching Louis faint like that had probably been the second most heart-breaking thing he’s ever seen in his life. The first is, undoubtedly, how sickly Louis really looks laying on the hospital bed in front of him. Underneath the hospital’s florescent lighting, each tell-tell sign of how much Louis is hurting is so clear. Harry isn’t sure how he’s been overlooking these things, but it makes his heart ache inside of his chest to see this poor little omega that he cares for so much like this.

There are deep, bluish circles under his eyes that look like he hasn’t slept properly in months. He’s clearly lost weight and he’s paler than he should be, even living in London. His nails are chewed so low to the nub that it looks painful. Yet, his face looks peaceful and serene in his sleep.

The nurses had given him something to supress his heat. It’s only temporary, three days max he’d been told, so they won’t be releasing him until after it’s done. He’d been told that they have a clinic suited especially to omegas in heat with the kind of… _equipment_ that could get them through it in under seventy-two hours. It doesn’t seem possible or natural for an omega to be through with a heat in such a short period of time, but judging by how terrified his poor omega had sounded with the prospect of going into heat, he thinks it might be the best option.

“What happened?” Louis’ mother runs in, clearly out of breath. “Oh, god. Louis.” She goes to the side of the bed and strokes her son’s hair, gets it out of his face and touches his cheek.

“He was going into heat and had a panic attack in the toilets. He hit his head pretty hard when he fell so I brought him here.”

“You took him into public? Of course he had a panic attack you insensitive – “

“Mum,” Louis’ voice says, just barely an exhale, “In the nicest way I can say it, please be quiet.” His face is twisted in pain, his fists clenched and eyes screwed shut.

“I’m sorry, sweetie.” She says and her eyes fill with tears.

“It’s not Harry’s fault.” He says, voice trailing off at the end as he falls back to sleep. Harry blinks a few times as the room falls completely silent aside from the quiet beeping on Louis’ heart monitor. Jay has her lips turned down into a frown and looks over to Harry with tears in her eyes.

“Coffee?” She asks quietly and Harry nods and follows her out of the room. They walk down the hallway, the silence between them thick until they reach the cafeteria and she sighs. “I’m sorry that I’ve taken so much of my aggression out on you. It’s not – I have nothing against you, truly, I just. He’s been through so, so much. And you’re the first alpha I’ve ever seen him even take a liking to and I’m so terrified that he’s just clung on to you because of some kind of hero complex. I’m sure that’s wrong and I very much doubt that you would exploit him in such a way, but it’s a mothers’ job to worry.” She sighs again. “He’s been through so much, Harry, and thank you for making him happy. Those first weeks that he was home, he rarely even spoke. He’d sit there and stare out windows and sleep and barely eat and –“ She wipes at her eyes to keep the tears from falling and Harry puts a hand on her shoulder. “I was so sure he was getting better. At least a bit, you know? I know it’s only been two months and I shouldn’t – I shouldn’t put so much pressure on him to be better, but I can’t stand seeing him like this.”

Harry pauses, lets those words sink in for a moment. He doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know how to react. He should feel offended, should want to defend himself, but instead he feels the need to defend Louis. It’s such a strange feeling. “No one’s blaming you for wanting your son to be better, Mrs. Tomlinson. It’s – I want him to be better, too. It hurts me so much to see him like that, especially because I feel like it’s my fault for not noticing it sooner. But I promise you I’d never take advantage of your son. He’ll get better one day, I hope. If he decides to stay with me after, I’ll be happy. If he doesn’t, I’ll be happy and support him from a-far. He’s important to me, and as much as I understand your worry, I promise I won’t make it real.” She smiles, just the smallest upturn of the corners of her lips, and exhales.

“Thank you, Harry.”

 

He doesn’t leave Louis’ room for the entirety of the three days. Louis doesn’t wake up often, just enough to eat the meals that the hospital gives him and to go to the loo, but Harry never wants to leave his side when he’s vulnerable like this. He doesn’t want to leave his side ever, really, but this is such a strong, instinctual _need_ to protect that he can’t force himself to leave.

Louis wakes up fully alert for the first time at around nine at night the third day. He looks healthier; the bags under his eyes are mostly gone and he looks fed. It makes Harry smile to see him like that. “Hi.” Louis says after a moment.

“Hi. How are you feeling?”

“Cold.” He says softly.

“Do you want another blanket?”

“No.” He says and his voice is so small that Harry almost doesn’t hear him. “Will you come lay with me?” Harry’s learned that Louis is very selective with who gets to touch him and when, so he nods before he climbs up into the bed with Louis. He lets the smaller boy curl up with him, wraps his arms tightly around him and holds him. It feels so natural to lay like that, to be with Louis in such an intimate way.

Harry’s never seen something as simple as cuddling as intimate before he met Louis. He’d never savoured each touch in this way before, never felt so at peace just holding an omegas hand. Louis has changed everything for him. Cuddling like this doesn’t feel like he’s missing out, he doesn’t feel like he needs to have sex with Louis and he doesn’t feel like it’s even important to what they have. It turns out that intimacy doesn’t need to be sexual; it’s a thought that Harry has never had before, but it’s so powerful that he really has to take a moment and just appreciate the way that Louis has changed the way he looks at things.

“Harry?”

“Yeah?”

“I um,” He swallows and almost looks sheepish for a moment, “I know that you had to see me so – panicky, before – so like this is probably such a dumb thing to ask. But will you – will you spend my heat with me?” Harry freezes a moment and the guilt only takes over when he realizes that Louis noticed the change. “I mean um, nevermind. That was a stupid thing to ask.” Louis looks down, puts his forehead against Harry’s chest so he’s not making eye contact anymore.

“No, Louis, look at me for a second, please?” He can tell the omega is hesitant about it, but he knows this is something that needs to be said. “I would love to spend your heat with you. You’re absolutely stunning both in personality and looks, and I’d love to take that next step with you, but not yet, okay?” Louis doesn’t say anything. “I care so much for you, pet. I feel things with you so strongly, but I don’t think either of us are quite ready for that just yet, yeah? I promise that I’ll spend a heat with you one day, if you’ll still have me, but not yet.” Louis nods.

“Thank you.” Is all he says and that’s all it takes for Harry to know he’s made the right decision.

 

It’s eight o’clock about five days later when there’s a knock at his door. Harry’s been baking – a stress habit he’d gotten from his first job as a baker – with an apron tied around his waist and purple socks with penguins on them when he goes to answer the door. He’s expecting Zayn and Liam, but when he opens the door, it’s Louis.

The omega looks like he’s just woken up from a nap, hair tousled and he’s wearing sweatpants and a soft smile on his face, but he still smells like the remnants of heat. Harry lets him in without a second thought and the omega pulls him into a tight embrace. “I’m sorry.” He says. There’s no anxiety behind it, nothing but the pure, apologetic tone he has.

“For what?”

“I um, I want to tell you what really caused my panic attack at the pub. Niall is waiting outside if you like, uh, decide to kick me out afterwards.” Harry furrows his eyebrows, a sudden nervousness nestling deep inside of his stomach. He’s not sure what to feel.

“All right. Um. Let’s sit?” He takes off his apron, tosses it over the back of one of his dining room chairs and follows Louis to the living room. He sits across from the omega, wanting to look at him for a conversation that feels like it’s going to be serious. They sit in silence a moment because Harry doesn’t want to pressure him into talking, doesn’t want him to think that he’s expecting this conversation to be quick.

“When Zayn and I were left alone at the table, he told me I was using you.” Harry feels like he’s been punched in the gut, all the air leaving his lungs. “And I didn’t realize until after he’d pointed it out that he’s completely right.” It’s – _what?_ He doesn’t know how to respond to that, doesn’t know what to feel when he hears those two sentences put next to one another and he doesn’t know how to deal with such an intense kind of emotion.

“I’m – what? How on earth could you possibly be using me, Louis? You never ask for anything. You’ve never –“

“Please just – let me explain.” Harry shuts up immediately and nods. “It’s emotional, I guess. I take and take and take from you and give nothing back, don’t I? I expect you to be there at my beck and call whenever I’m emotional and like, you always are. But when am I ever there for you? When do I ever give you back anything that you deserve? I don’t even –“ He pauses, screws his eyes shut for a moment and takes a breath. “I don’t even let you touch me most of the time. I’m exploiting you and I just. I don’t want to anymore. I don’t want to be a user.” Harry is silent for a moment as he takes that in, the sound of their breathing the only sounds in the entire room.

“First of all, Zayn’s quite the prick for saying something so certainly when he didn’t even discuss that with me.” His emotions were so out of whack for the few minutes he had to sit and take that in, but now he’s just angry. Fuming. His hands are shaking. “Do you know why I give you everything you need, Louis? Because I care about you. I care about you so much that it physically _hurts_ me when I see you in pain or sad. When I don’t know how to help you, I feel helpless in ways that I’ve never felt in my life.” Louis is looking at him with wide eyes and he isn’t sure how to feel about that. His anger is slowly seeping away with each exhale. “You’re not using me at all, Louis. I can see where you’re coming from when you say that, but the only reason I do all of those things for you is because I want to. I _want_ to care for you. I _want_ to be your shoulder to cry on and I _want_ to be there for you when you need me. None of that is exploitative and I’m so, so sorry that Zayn put that shit in your head.”

Louis blinks a few times, but he doesn’t look like he’s about to cry. Instead, he looks like he feels so much better. Like his eyes are suddenly less tired and more vibrant, reflecting the light in a way that makes him look so much more alive. “He said that you fall too hard too fast. I don’t want you to hurt yourself over me, I’m not worth that.”

“Remember that first date we went on, where we both said it’s ridiculous how much we care for each other after such a short period of time?”

“Yeah. Of course I do. Everyone seems to think it’s a soul bond, or whatever.” Louis says the last part quietly, like he’s unsure if that’s the right thing to say.

“I think that’s exactly what it is and our natures would never let us harm one another if that’s really the truth, yeah? Never feel like you’re harming me, Lou. Never.” Louis nods and smiles, a soft smile, but it reaches his eyes so Harry knows it’s real.

“Can I come sit with you?”

“Of course.” Louis comes over, sits right in Harry’s lap with their chests together and lays his head against his shoulder. It’s the kind of intimate touches that make Harry fee like he’s in place all over again, like that missing piece of his puzzle is found.

“I want everything with you, Harry, but like, it’s so hard because there are days like now when I want nothing more than to be touched and held and then there are other days where the idea of even coming within five feet of anyone scares the lights out of me. I never know which days are going to be what and I don’t think you deserve to have to go through that.”

“I appreciate that you’re thinking of me, but I want to be there for you. I want to help you through all of this as best as I can.” Louis finally nods. “I’m going to take care of you however you want me to, Lou. I want you happy and healthy always.”

 

 

LOUIS.

The weeks go on after that. He starts finding himself at Harry’s house more often than he’s at home, and it’s not until he realizes that his room has been clean and his bed made for almost an entire month that he doesn’t really live at home anymore. He’s sleeping in their – _Harry’s –_ bed, alone, because Harry is away in Ipswich for another. It doesn’t hurt as much to be away from Harry anymore, but he knows it’s only because the promise of the alpha returning is exactly that – a promise. He no longer worries that Harry will be out and decide he doesn’t want him anymore. He no longer worries that Harry will come home and never call him again.

It’s only been three months, but it’s enough for him to be sure. He’s sure he could fall in love with Harry one day – that they could build a life and be something more one day. It’s a feeling he’s never had before. Omegas are meant to be nurturers, to desire a family their entire lives, but Louis hasn’t really had that feeling until recently. He grew up with a large family, so he always knew he loved kids, but the idea of having his own children had never seemed entirely appealing.

After Marcus, even thinking about babies made him feel nauseous. Seeing a child in the shoppes would give him the cold sweats, but it’s gotten better. He’s started trying in therapy, even started some new way of processing memories called EMDR. It helps. He can say Marcus’ name out loud now without having a panic attack. He’s not all the way better and he knows that there really isn’t a known recovery for PTSD, but he’s getting there.

He climbs out of bed and swallows down his medication that’s set out for him on the night stand, then goes to the loo and brushes his teeth. Following a schedule helps. It keeps his head on straight and makes him feel like every day is meant to be productive and fulfilling. It isn’t obsessive, but rather just a simple outline of a few things that he needs to do around certain times every day.

At ten am, he’s meant to let Zeus out for a bit, then he has nothing until past midday. He thinks his mum is going to come over and visit, make sure he’s eating well and probably cook something for him, but he doesn’t remember if that’s meant to be today or tomorrow. Harry’s going to call around supper time, so he holds on to that hope as he flicks on the telly.

Harry’s on – a few microphones shoved in his face and Louis leans forward, brings his knees to his chest and rests his chin against them. He’s mentioning something about the suspect in the latest murder case, and as much as Louis knows he shouldn’t watch the news, he’s only watching it for Harry. He’s not really listening to the content of what he’s saying as much as he’s just watching the way he talks, listening to the slow lull of his voice.

He changes the channel as soon as a new speaker comes on. Channel One is playing old reruns of Tenant Era Doctor Who, so he lets that play while he makes himself some tea and two frozen toaster waffles for breakfast. He props his phone up against the counter and turns on his music player as he searches around the kitchen for something else to go with his waffles. As much as he’d probably enjoy just eating them covered in syrup and sugary goodness, he’s been preached at enough about how a balanced diet will help him feel better that he knows he has to find something.

He grabs an apple from the fruit basket at the bottom of the refrigerator. He’s still only in his pants, Harry’s shirt, and his socks, but he’s comfortable and warm enough that he doesn’t mind. His phone is still playing music, but when the song ends he pouts, just for a second, before one of his all-time favourite songs comes on.

It’s been a long time since he’s actually wanted to just have fun, to let himself let go and just sing and let himself go. “ _One way, or another!”_ He says, slides across the wood of the kitchen floor, letting his socks glide. Zeus doesn’t seem to understand what he’s doing and chases him as he goes.

He sings along to the entire song, spins around and dances, twirls and lets himself feel _free._

“You should try that some time, Zeus. It’s actually pretty fun.” The dog sits in front of him and pants, picks up his paw and sets it back down on the floor. Louis has learned that that means he wants a treat. He gets a dog biscuit from the drawer and tosses it up, watches as the dog catches it and chomps away happily. Harry says he’s making their dog fat, but what Harry doesn’t know won’t kill him.

 

Louis wakes in the middle of the night and he feels like he’s on fire. It’s not often his heats start in the middle of the night, so he thinks it’s probably because he’s surrounded himself with Harry’s scent. He whimpers softly and kicks off the covers, takes a few deep breathes and tries to figure out exactly how far in he is. He’d expected to have time to feel it coming, but waking up like this has thrown all of his plans off. He fumbles for his phone, detaches it from the charger.

He texts Niall and asks him to bring his heat kit over, with about twenty praying emojis beside it. Then he texts his mum and tells her not to come over. She responds and tells him to make sure he stays hydrated.

He’s not too far along, still coherent enough to know where he is and not to only be able to think about how badly he wants a knot, so he forces himself downstairs to get water. He grabs six full bottles, tucks four under his arms and carries the rest, then sets them beside the bed. He downs one entirely, just to make sure he’ll be okay until the first wave is over.

He grabs his phone one last time and sends Harry a text – just in case. He’s not sure if Harry would appreciate it if he was allowed to come home early and walked into his home smelling like heat without a warning first. He doesn’t think Harry will be home in the next few days, but just in case.

_Hi Haz. I’m about 2 go into heat all the way so cnt talk 4 a couple days_ _L_ _miss u already_ _L_

He doesn’t really go under for about an hour, but by then the tingling in his skin is slowly starting to become unbearable. He rides it out for a while, just lets himself feel it all, feel the way his body craves everything. It’s a mindfulness exercise, he thinks, to just force himself to be aware as long as he can. He doesn’t think it’ll last much longer, not with the way his cock is filling and demanding his attention more and more as each second passes.

He’s damp already, leaking slick out against his pants as he buries his face in the pillow and lets himself enjoy the mixture of his and Harry’s scent. An alpha’s scent by itself is addicting, but the scent of his alpha mixed with his own is something he hadn’t realized he needed until he had it.

Finally, he wraps a hand around his cock, just holds it and lets himself feel the touch, whines in the back of his throat as a bead of sweat drips down his forehead. He doesn’t want to touch himself yet, doesn’t want to rub himself raw like he has in the past, so he waits. He has to wait until it gets so bad that he can’t take it. The doctors had had some kind of healing lube that made it so his skin wouldn’t get raw if he touched himself too much, but it was well over one hundred pounds for a small tube of it to take home, so he wasn’t even going to let himself think about that.

He lasts about all of five minutes like that, laying there in silence with blood rushing in his ears and the overwhelming feeling of heat digging into each part of his body before he jerks his hand, cants his hips up into the touch and comes after four thrusts.

It’s enough for now, so he isn’t all the way in just yet. He gets himself off one more time just to make sure, coming with Harry’s name on his lips, before he curls up for a nap.

 

He’s sitting on the couch, riding out the last of the heat sticking to his skin and waiting for Harry to come home. He’s not in heat anymore – the arousal isn’t curling in his stomach and making each of his nerve endings feel on fire. It’s more like the last of the fever that his body is still trying to sweat out.

He’s got a glass of orange juice in his hand and a plate of crackers and cheese on the table beside him while a show about grooming dogs is playing in the background. Zeus is sitting too close to the telly, barking every time he sees certain dogs and his tail wagging when he sees others, but then he hears the click in the door and runs over. Louis is smiling as he stands.

Harry has his suitcase in one hand and a bag in the other. “Hi, Lou.” He says with a smile. Louis wants to be touched, he’s decided, so he takes the initiative and goes and hugs Harry tightly. “You smell good still.” Harry says and freezes – the movement something Louis can feel easily. “Sorry, shit, that was rude. I didn’t mean to like, make you –“

“It’s okay. You smell nice, too.” Louis says with an eyeroll.

“I brought those raspberry pastries that you like, from Minnies?”

“Oh man, you’re always going to have to remind me why I stick around, aren’t you?” Harry grins and kisses the top of Louis’ head once, an affectionate gesture that makes his stomach do a flip. He knows that the boundaries of their affection haven’t really been set, but he doesn’t want to set them. He likes Harry touching him in ways that friends don’t.

“I’m gonna go put my stuff up. Do you want to heat up the oven? I’ll come down in a minute and warm these up.”

Louis takes the bag from Harry’s hand with a nod before going over to the kitchen and grabbing a baking tray. They’re always the best warmed up, he could argue that for hours, and he’s glad that Harry agrees. He actually thinks it’s kind of funny how he’d never realizes that he’s seen Harry before, probably dozens of times, throughout his life. He used to go to that bakery every time he came up to visit his nan, and since Harry worked there, he can imagine they’d seen each other a few times.

He covers the pan with foil, then sets two of the pastries out on it before setting the bag with the other ten over with the bread.

Harry comes down a few minutes later, changed out of his typical work suit and into a pair of joggers and a tee shirt. It’s one of the ones that Louis had worn a couple of times in the time that Harry was gone and it makes the tips of his cheeks feel warm. “This smells like you.” Harry says with a teasing smirk, presses the button on the oven that warms it up to the right temperature, and then leans against the counter.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Louis says with a teasing lilt to his voice before he starts to walk out of the kitchen. “This whole house smells like me. It’s mine now. Just like the shirt.”

“Mhm, of course.” Harry is grinning and it makes Louis’ heart beat faster. “Anything for you, pet.”

“Duh.” Louis says with an overdramatic eyeroll. He really, really likes Harry. It’s the moments like these, where they’ve been apart but come back together so easily, without a single thing making him think that distance is ever _good_ that he thinks he could see himself here. He could see himself in this same spot, wearing Harry’s clothes and eating pastries together in twenty years. He can see himself holding Harry’s hand and cuddling up with him for a film in thirty, and he can see himself oh, so happy, for many more beyond that.

It’s too soon to ever voice any of these thoughts, though, especially because he doesn’t want to scare Harry off, but he lets the thoughts of forever comfort him. Even if they don’t happen, he knows that he has the capability to want that with someone. For his entire life he’d stayed a virgin to make sure he wouldn’t get attached to an alpha – never let himself form that attachement with someone because he could never see himself with someone for his entire life. He knows that omegas and alphas don’t have to bond for life just because an omega takes a knot, but he also knows that he’s played sex up so big in his head for so long that finally doing it will be too much of a big deal for him to just not think about it.

“So, I have a few friends coming over tonight. If you don’t think you’re up for company that’s totally fine, but if you want to stay and hang out you’re more than welcome to as well.” Harry says with a little smile and Louis nods.

“I might come down and say hi some time during the night.”

 

He decides that he does want to say hello, to be social, and let Harry’s friends know that he exists. It’s not really normal for an omega to hide away when there’s company and he’s certain that at least three of them are aware he’s there (since he can smell three, distinct alpha scents), so he makes his way downstairs.

“Hey, Lou!” Harry says happily and waves. There are eight people in Harry’s den, snacks are laid out across the table. Harry’s got his hair pulled up into a bun and a smile on his face. Zayn and Liam are there, and – oh, shit. He realizes he’s staring just a moment too late, because the other alpha laughs just a bit.

“Hey, I recognize you!” He says and Louis feels faint. “You auditioned for Dunkirk, didn’t you?”

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, I did.” He has to remind himself to breathe for a second because Christopher Nolan is in the same room as him and has actively recognized him. He might faint.

“You’ve got a lot of talent,” He gives a smile and Harry waves him over to sit.

“Thanks.” He says and finds his place beside Harry and the arm of the chair. “I’m Louis, by the way.” He says to everyone else. He recognizes only Chris and the other alpha as Nicholas Grimshaw – but the other three aren’t familiar to him.

“Nick.” Grimshaw says with a smile. These are the moments he’s happy for the taboo alphas-shouldn’t-touch-omegas thing, but he doesn’t let his relief show.

“Ed.” A red-haired man says.

“Steve.” He’s an omega, and it makes Louis feel oddly comfortable. He’s never liked being the only omega in a group, but since there are just a few more alphas in the world than omegas, it’s not a rare occurrence. Steve looks happy and like he fits in, though, so he isn’t going to let himself worry too terribly.

“Shawn.”

“How do you lot know each other, then?”

Zayn decides to take the answer to that question. “When Harry and I were in uni, Chris did a seminar in one of my classes, then caught up with me ‘cause my work caught his eye. We went out to lunch and hit it off. Harry joined in a bit later, then Liam too, of course. Liam knew Steve and Harry knew Shawn. We all kind of just bonded over the years.”

“Now we can’t manage to drop each other.” Steve says with a grin.

“Oi, you’d be lonely without us you slag.” Ed says and Louis actually doesn’t feel overwhelmed. Harry looks happy and content and Louis feels himself relax into the environment. He’s comfortable.

“Can I invite Niall over?” He asks to Harry with a soft voice.

“Sure. Ask him to bring over some snacks or summat, would you?”

“Sure.” He says with a smile and makes his way to the kitchen with his phone in his hand. There’s a few more voices from the kitchen as he leaves, but for the first time in a long while, that anxiety isn’t burning in his stomach about the fear of being talked about. He isn’t worried about this crowd. He trusts Harry to not put him in danger.

“Hello?” Niall asks and he thinks he can hear batman playing in the background.

“Hey, Ni. Wanna come to a little get together at Harry’s?”

“Sure. Now?”

“Yeah. Harry said to bring snacks.” Niall laughs on the other end of the line but agrees before he hangs up.

 

It’s less than an hour before Niall shows up. Shawn had to leave – something about having to catch a flight early in the morning – but Louis didn’t really mind much. He was by far the quietest of the bunch, especially for an alpha, but Steve compensated. For being an omega, he was loud and really lit up the room. It makes Louis think of how he had been before all of this, the way he had never been able to shut up, even when he needed to.

It’s kind of sad, but at the same time, he kind of enjoys being able to be quiet now. He notices things he doubts he would have been able to before. There’s a knock on the door before long and Louis gets up to answer it, looks through the peephole to see his friend on the other side and opens it without a second thought.

“Hey, Lou!” He says happily, two bags full of chips and biscuits in his arms. “Wasn’t sure how many people there were, so I just got a bunch of stuff.” He can see the way Niall is looking around, probably formulating a few dozen questions in his head, but he still loves that Niall won’t ask anything until he’s entirely sure that he needs to.

“Thanks, Ni. This way.” He leads his friend to the sitting room and smiles when Harry meets his gaze. “This is Niall, guys. Niall, Chris, Ed, Steve, Harry, Liam, and Zayn.” Zayn is staring at Niall, but it’s not the usual Zayn-Stare. It’s – something else. But he decides not to pay attention to that. Zayn’s always been a bit of an anomaly to him, anyway.

“Nice to meet you all.” He says with a smile and sits across from Louis in the single-seated arm chair. He claims his spot back next to Harry and grins when the alpha places a warm hand on his thigh.

 

It’s two hours later when Chris and Ed leave, too, and then it’s just the six of them. “You know Louis, if you’re ever looking for a good word for your acting, give me a call. I’ll see what I can do.” Was the last thing Chris had said to him and he’s been buzzing ever since. Harry had had to put his hand on the back of his neck just to calm him down – a natural way for any alpha to calm an omega – but he couldn’t contain his excitement.

After a few more words, they all put on a film – agreeing on Fast and Furious – and Louis falls asleep on Harry’s lap. Harry’s still got a hand on the back of his neck and the other wrapped protectively around his waist, so he sleeps soundly.

 

 

 

 

HARRY.

Watching Louis grow and improve and find his confidence again has made Harry feel so good. He loves watching Louis dance around in his kitchen and he loves being able to hug him every day. Louis has found a place deep in his heart and he’s not sure he would be able to kick him out even if he wanted to at this point.

Louis’ been with him for four months now, the two of them fitting together seamlessly in their lives. It’s Louis’ first day back at work today, just something part time and simple so he doesn’t feel so useless, and Harry’s supporting him all the way.

It’s just. He’s sitting at home alone, Zeus on his lap, and he’s worried. He knows it’s irrational for him to worry about the omega every single time he leaves the house – that’s supposed to be something that mates do only – but he can’t help it. His mind automatically defaults to the worst-possible-situation and he panics a bit, checks his phone to make sure there are no emergency texts from Louis, and forces himself to calm down.

Louis is due back in less than twenty minutes, anyhow, after a five-and-a-half-hour shift, so he knows he needs to calm himself down. It’s not good for an alpha to worry if his omega is around. If an alpha is nervous and the omega smells it, it only intensifies the emotion for the omega. It’s basic sex-ed, shitty science he’d never thought he’d care for when he was in primary school, but he has realized exactly how true it is in the last few months.

Louis has opened his eyes about so many things, made him see things so differently, and he’s so grateful.

Jay has also started trusting him – another thing he’s beyond happy to be able to say. He calls her sometimes, just to chat and see how she’s doing, and Louis doesn’t even think it’s weird. He thinks that’s such a cool thing to be able to do, to be close with someone he cares about so much’s mother.

The front door opens and Louis comes into the rom just a few moments later. He throws himself on top of Harry, his torso over Harry’s lap and his face and legs on the couch. It’s endearing. “How was work?”

“It was nice, but I’m tired.” He assumes that since Louis is close to him like this he can touch him, but when he first reaches out to do so he’s slow, hesitant, careful. Like always. He doesn’t want to hurt him.

“Want me to rub your back?” Louis hums a little, not a yes or no, but Harry takes it as a yes and slowly starts rubbing away the tension from Louis’ back. The omega sighs happily beneath him, hums a little more, and lets it happen.

“Harry?” Louis asks, moving away from the touch and instead to crawl all the way up on his lap.

“Hi.” Harry says with a smile.

“Kiss me.” He says it so breathlessly that Harry has to make sure he heard him correctly. Louis pupils are blown just slightly wider than normal, and it isn’t until then that he can smell the arousal slowly becoming thicker and thicker in the room.

He kisses him slowly at first, lets Louis take the pace and set his comfort level, but as soon as Louis grips at Harry’s shirt, he kisses him harder. It’s the most heated they’ve ever gotten, and Harry can’t help but savour every moment. He licks into Louis mouth and holds him tightly, lets his hands rest at Louis’ hips. Louis’ breathing is slightly more laboured, and Harry can feel himself hardening against Louis’ thigh.

“What do you want, Louis?” He asks breathlessly, pulling away from the kiss. Louis’ eyes are almost entirely black, the blue just a soft rim around the darkness. “Do you want me to touch you?” He nods quickly, his tongue darting out to lick at his lips. “Here or in the bedroom?”

“Bedroom.” He says quietly and holds his arms up for Harry to carry him. It makes Harry smile and Louis giggle, just enough to remind him that they’re still HarryandLouis, no matter how different this feels to their usual dynamic. He carries him up to their bedroom, kissing his face a few more times as he walks just to make Louis smile.

“You’re so beautiful, you know that?” He asks as he lays Louis out on the bed, his clothing still on but rumpled enough to make him look even softer than he usually looks. He’s looking up at him with a little smile on his face that’s making Harry feel more possessive and protective than he ever has, and he loves it. He wants Louis more than he’s ever wanted anything. “What do you need, love?”

“You. Want you.” Harry isn’t sure what that means, isn’t sure where the boundaries are, and he doesn’t really know what Louis wants, so he hesitates.

“Do you want to have sex, Louis? That’s what I need to know. If you’re not ready for that, it’s fine.” Louis bites his lip.

“I want to. But. Not tonight. Not yet.” Harry smiles and nods, kisses him again softly.

“Do you trust me?” Louis nods, not a shred of hesitation in his reaction as Harry pulls away his work shirt and tosses it to the side. He kisses Louis neck twice, breathes in his still-aroused scent, before kissing down his chest, hands running over his sides. He’s gained enough weight that he can’t feel his bones anymore, and it makes Harry feel good, makes him feel like he’s taking care of his boy. “You can always tell me if you’re uncomfortable, Lou. Okay? Always. We’ll stop the second you need to.” Louis smiles and nods. Harry wants nothing more than to make sure he’s comfortable and feels taken care of. It’s beyond an instinctual need anymore, he just wants it.

He undoes Louis’ trousers next, pulls the material away slowly an kisses each inch of skin that the material uncovers. Louis has a lip tugged between his teeth, but there’s still a smile on his face.

“Wait.” He says as Harry reaches to take away his pants, too. Harry pulls away, takes his hands away entirely and looks at Louis with wide eyes. “Can you um, can you take yours off, first?” Harry smiles just a bit. They’ve not yet seen each other naked, and no matter how many times he’s told Louis he’s beautiful he knows that the omega still has his own self esteem issues. Harry doesn’t know if he’ll ever be able to convince Louis exactly how beautiful he is, how incredible he looks from his eyes, but he tries. He’ll always try.

He strips down to his own pants, thumbs at the waist band for a moment and looks to Louis’ eyes to see if there’s any kind of doubt, but when he doesn’t see anything, he shucks them off, lets his cock spring free against his stomach.

“Jesus.” Louis says with a little laugh. “Is that an alpha thing, or are you just lucky?” Harry laughs and kisses Louis’ wrist, feels his pulse there and smiles against his skin.

“I think a little bit of both, honestly.”

“Would that really even… like… fit in me?”

“It would. Omega bodies are meant to take it.” Louis seems to accept that answer and just smiles up at him again. “I’m gonna eat you out, okay?” That makes Louis’ eyes widen a bit, his cheeks flush, but he nods. “Can you flip over for me, to your tummy?”

“’Kay.” Louis flips over and Harry takes a moment to admire him. His arse is still clad in his pants, but he’s still beautiful. There’s a damp spot around his bum from slick, so Harry decides not to look anymore. He can’t wait to get his mouth on him properly. He slides Louis’ pants off slowly and places a kiss on his arse cheek. Louis is completely still as Harry pulls apart his cheeks, but then he lets out a harsh breath. It’s not until Harry licks a long stripe right over his hole that he moans, squirms, and twitches. Harry holds him, keeps his grip on his thighs and holds him in place as he keeps up with little kitten licks, just shallow and teasing.

He’s trembling by the time Harry really starts fucking him with his tongue, deeper thrusts past the little ring of muscles. “Oh, fuck, _ah_ – Harry.” He keeps repeating between little moans and short breaths. “I’m – I’m gonna come.” It’s barely thirty seconds before he does, comes all over the duvet below him and goes limp.

Harry grabs at his own cock, strokes himself quick and fast and avoids touching the base so he doesn’t pop a knot, and comes with a muffled shout. He leans his head against Louis’ thight for a moment, his knees hurting just a bit from the carpet digging into them, but he’s content. Beyond content. He’s happier than he has been in a long while. “I’m going to get something to clean us up. I’ll be right back.” Louis hums his acknowledgement, so Harry goes off to the loo and wets a flannel with warm water.

When he gets back, he cleans Louis up and kisses him again softly, smiling into it.

 

They’re in bed together, Louis cuddling into his chest when the omega speaks. “Are we boyfriends, Haz?”

“I think we have been, really. Probably for at least two months. I just wasn’t sure if you wanted to label it or not.”

“I’d like to be.”

Harry’s on cloud nine.

 

“It’s too early for this.” Harry moans when he walks into the office the next morning. He’d slept a full nights sleep, but for some reason he’d still woken up tired. It’s not often that it happens to him, but the excitement of officially becoming Louis’ _boyfriend_ must have made him too excited to be able to actually fall into a deep sleep.

“Huh, oh, yeah, Boss.” Liam says from the other side of the room, eyes glued to his phone. The coffee cup he’d gotten has been full beneath the Keurig for nearly three whole minutes and he hasn’t even seemed to notice, but Harry’s kettle hasn’t come to a boil yet, so he isn’t going to say anything.

“Everything okay?” He finally asks after a few more minutes and watches as Liam startles.

“Oh, yeah.” He has a pink tint to his cheeks that makes Harry quirk an eyebrow. “You um, you know that omega that Louis invited over to your little get together a couple months back?”

“Yeah, of course. Niall’s Louis’ best mate.”

“Well um,” Liam clears his throat. “Zayn and I spent his last two heats with him.” Harry’s eyebrows shoot up and he almost isn’t sure who he’s talking to anymore. He’d never thought Liam would even acknowledge that someone other than Zayn existed romantically.

“Just for fun or?”

“No, no. Um. Zayn and I are going to ask him to like, go steady or summat tonight. Like, with the three of us all being… a thing. That’s why I’ve been so … sucked into my mobile.” He’s still got a pink tint to his cheeks and Harry can tell he’s happy.

“When did all of that happen? I don’t even remember you guys speaking.”

“Well Zayn and I wanted to get some drinks, you know, a bit of a date night so we went down to a pub and Niall actually owns the pub we found ourselves in. So like, he was just parading himself about in a fuckin’ suit, right, so Zayn and I kind of started talking about it. Then we invited him to sit with us and the three of us really hit it off.” Liam pauses a moment. “Within knowing each other for like, two weeks, he was complaining about having to spend his heat alone and Zayn and I offered to help him through it so now it’s like… a thing.”

“Do you think you’re going to bond with him one day?”

“It’s possible. You know Zayn and I’s relationship has always been somewhat unorthodox, with just two alphas, so if we have an omega… it might make it a little easier. Like, that’s what all kinds of doctors have told us anyway.”

“Well, I’ll support you no matter what.”

 

 

LOUIS.

It’s been six months since Louis met Harry, and everything is perfect. He thinks he’s finally fallen over that brink of _could_ love Harry and _does_ love Harry. It’s been a long day, both of them having had to work, but they always fall together again at the end of the day. They always gravitate towards each other.

The way Harry kisses him makes him feel like he hasn’t really lived until that moment. It’s warm and hot and makes him feel like there are literal fireworks going off in his head. Harry’s hands are heavy on his hips and every touch makes him feel like a fire is burning in his stomach. He’s straddling Harry’s waist, their clothes cocks pressed right against each other as he swivels his hips just enough to create a teasing friction between the two of them.

“Harry.” He moans out as the alpha nuzzles at his neck, the little spot where his bond mark would be. It’s more sensual than it is sexual for Harry to focus so much energy on that spot – but it makes Louis’ thighs shake with anticipation. “Harry, bed, please. Want you to –“ Harry gets a grip on the bottom of his arse and picks him up from the couch, standing with effortless grace.

Louis kisses at the alpha’s neck as he’s carried and relishes the feeling of Harry’s hands on him. He wants that and more – he wants everything Harry can give him. It’s a sudden and almost overwhelming feeling. He can feel how much Harry cares for him both in the way he needs him to and the way he wants him to.

The alpha who turns away his own instinctual desires when he goes into heat, the alpha who cuddles him when he sleeps and makes him breakfast when he gets nothing out of it, the alpha who comes running whenever he wakes up from a nightmare, the alpha who he can already see himself spending the rest of his life with.

That’s a terrifying thought, almost. He can see himself doing it – he can see himself having children with Harry and them growing old together – but it’s unlikely. He just wants to get as close to Harry as he can before the alpha decides he’s too much to handle and dumps him to the curb.

Harry sets him down on the bed and just hoovers above him a moment, looking into his eyes as his thumb runs over his cheek. It actually feels more intimate in that moment than it had when he was practically grinding down on the alpha. The closeness of the touch, the clear fondness he can see in Harry’s eyes – it’s all too much.

“Please touch me.” Louis gasps out and Harry kisses him again, harder this time, with more intent. His tongue slips easily into his mouth, Louis’ natural instinct to submit taking over. It’s easy to just let it happen, to know he can trust Harry and let him touch him. Harry makes everything easy. He wants Harry to fuck him. He thinks he’s ready, finally. He wants Harry inside of him, wants to be closer to the alpha than he has yet. Wants to go that final step with Harry and finally, _finally_ be his.

Well, maybe not entirely his. They won’t be bonding tonight, but this is the last step they have to really take before that.

He closes his eyes and grasps Harry’s still buttoned shirt between his fists. The smell of arousal is filling the room between them and Harry’s right hand trails down Louis’ stomach, drawing little, invisible shapes with his finger tips. When he grabs at the hem of Louis’ shirt, he pauses, and Louis assumes he’s waiting for a sign of hesitance, but it doesn’t come.

His shirt is gone and he opens his eyes, about to start unbuttoning Harry’s.

They’ve seen each other like this enough that it’s not awkward anymore. There’s nothing wrong with being naked with each other, nothing wrong with having that skin on skin touch that Louis so desperately craves. He’s been on edge all day, a kind of nervousness buried beneath his skin that he doesn’t know the cause of, but he wants it to go away. He wants Harry to make it go away.

But as soon as his eyes open, he feels trapped.

The nervousness that had been embedded underneath his skin suddenly feels like it’s creeping into his lungs and squeezing the air out of them.

It comes so quickly and all at once that each beat of his heart is almost painful, the fear filling every edge of his brain as the surroundings of the room around him blur into what almost looks like the room he’d been trapped in for those weeks. “Oh, god.” Louis says with tears in his eyes as his body suddenly feels tense. His hands are shaking and Harry is withdrawn, clearly unsure of what to do. “I’m sorry – I’m so – sorry.” He can’t breathe and he hadn’t realized until then that he’s shaking everywhere, not just his hands. Trembling. It’s been weeks since he’s had a panic attack and he doesn’t know why it’s happening, doesn’t know what he’s done to make it happen, but he can’t breathe.

“Louis? You’re all right. You’re okay. It’s me, Harry. Here, can I touch you?”

“No!” He shouts, wincing at the sound of his voice in the quiet room, “No, god, sorry. I’m sorry. Please just – can you just go sit in the – sitting room? For a sec?” There are tears streaming down his face and he just needs a moment to _breathe_ but air doesn’t seem to want to go in his lungs. Harry looks worried and Louis is about to start screaming for him to just _go_ but the alpha is out the door only a few seconds later.

Why had he seen Marcus’ face in Harry’s? He was about to get what he’s wanted for – for _months_ and he had to ruin it. In for four hold for seven out for eight in for four out for seven hold for eight – what? Wait. That’s not how it goes. He pulls the blanket around his body tightly, the warmth giving him some level of comfort despite making his panic feel heightened.

He feels trapped, a prisoner in his own head.

 _He’s gone_ he tells himself _Marcus can’t touch you ever again._ Those are the good thoughts, his therapist would say. Those are the thoughts he needs to fuel. _But now Harry thinks you’re fucking crazy._ Those are the bad. He’s yet to be able to break them apart, to only have the good without a few of the bad seeping in through the cracks in his slowly building confidence.

It had been so much easier before all of this. He’d been able to do things freely, without worry. Now he can’t even answer his door without thinking someone is going to hurt him. It’s pathetic. He doesn’t understand why it all has to come crashing down on him like this at the very worst of times, but it does, and he can’t stop it and it wraps itself around Louis’ neck like a noose.

In for four. Hold for Seven. Out for eight.

He doesn’t feel as constricted as he had just a few seconds earlier. Well, he’d thought it was only a few seconds, but with a glance over to his clock he realizes that it had been two hours.

He’d made him and Harry miss their dinner reservations and it makes his eyes well back up with tears. He stands, though, and his legs aren’t shaking anymore.

When he walks to the sitting room, Harry’s not there.

He doesn’t even let himself feel the dread, because of course he’s not. He probably doesn’t want to deal with a basket case of an omega – no one does.

“Hey.” He hears from the kitchen and jumps. Harry comes out and there’s a little splatter of something pale-white on his cheek. “I made some supper.” Louis has to blink a few times to make sure he’s real – to make sure that the alpha is still standing in front of him.

“Thank you.” He says with a shy smile and follows Harry to the dining room.

 

“I’m really sorry for um, for freaking out and making us miss our – “

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Lou. I don’t blame you and I never will. I’m here for you, to be by your side while you work through this. I’m not just going to walk away.”

“You will.” Louis says under his breathe. Harry hears it, turns his body closer to Louis and takes his hands in his. The touch is actually reassuring – gentle and warm.

“I promise you, Louis, that as long as you want me here, I’ll be here. You’re the most wonderful, perfect boy I’ve ever met in my entire life. I know what happened to you was absolutely awful and I can never even begin to empathize with how you’re processing it, but I _promise_ I’m not going to think you’re crazy or too much to handle. I love you.” Louis’ body freezes and tears fill his eyes once again. The only difference this time is that they’re happy tears. He’s happy. Harry broke that barrier of telling him he loves him and it breaks down every last insecurity that he’s been harboring about being with this alpha.

Hearing Harry voice his insecurities and completely throw them out the window is reassuring in ways he’d never thought possible until he heard it.

Hearing Harry say he _loves_ him is a feeling all of it’s own. It makes his chest feel warm and his heart feel big. He feels safe and cared for and everything he’s always wanted to feel but never thought he would. It shouldn’t be real – Harry loving him – but he wants to hold on to that feeling for the rest of his life. He wants Harry to love him and let Louis love him, too.

He’s beyond happy. Nervous and jittery, but Happy.

“Thank you. I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone wants to make any kind of fanart/fanmixes/etc.... I wouldn't be opposed (winks, nudges) 
> 
> Question for my future works: do you all prefer that I post more frequent, shorter chapters, or less frequent, longer chapters? Like this update was 23k, but it took me 15 days, so would you prefer a 5-7k update after 5 or so days or keep this pattern?


	3. Part Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is definitely bringing to life those alcoholism tags, so be warned if that's a trigger for you!   
> I am really sorry about the massive wait on this update. I've been working so much on my big bang fics that I didn't realize it had been almost a full month since I updated!! I hope you all enjoy this chapter and I hope you all enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed writing it.   
> This chapter is also very Louis-centric, rather than balanced like the other two have been. I'm sorry.   
> Unbeta'd as usual.

And all my days are trances,

And all my nightly dreams

Are where thy grey eye glances,

And where thy footstep gleams-

In what ethereal dances,

By what eternal streams.

Edgar Allan Poe ; To One In Paradise

 

HARRY.

Waking up, Harry reaches over in his sleep-muddled state to touch Louis. It’s what he’s done every morning since he left, an instinctual reaction to what his body thinks is his soon-to-be-mate being gone. Every morning, he’s had to face the reality that, not only is Louis gone, but he’s probably not going to be back any time soon, either. It’s a hard way to wake up, but it’s just something he’s somehow managed to deal with.

The first time he’d woken up and not found Louis beside him, he’d panicked. He was so certain that his omega had run off and done something he’d regret, but then he found the note. He’d left a note on his kitchen counter that he was going to his mum’s – nothing else. It was the worst feeling of absolute, all consuming, dread.

Lying in bed still makes him feel that.

Louis’ pillow is the only thing that really still smells strongly of him, so he hasn’t let himself touch it. It makes the room still have that faint scent of him that is probably the cause of both Harry’s mourning and happiness, but he feels like it still means something – still symbolizes that part of him. Touching it would mean accepting that Louis is gone – that he has to get his scent from something else.

The day after Louis had had his panic attack, he’d gone home to his mums. So Harry know it wasn’t him – it wasn’t anything that he could have done that made him run off. Harry had texted and offered to take him and pick him up, but he’d denied and said it would be better if he just took the train because he wasn’t sure when he’d be back. Harry hadn’t taken that to heart, but he also hadn’t expected _this._

It’s not – it certainly isn’t that Harry has a problem with him going home. Going home is healthy and necessary and important, especially if it helps Louis cope better. The only thing that he has a problem with is that Louis has been gone for three weeks and hasn’t so much as returned one of his calls.

It had been a shock when Louis cut him off – but it hurt so much worse just because he didn’t have a proper reason or an answer to his questioning of _why._ If Louis had gotten angry with him and walked out and had a reason, it wouldn’t hurt this bad. It just doesn’t feel like something that Louis would do, either. Louis had always seemed like the type to be so caring and considerate of others that he couldn’t ever just walk out without considering someone else’s feelings – it just doesn’t feel right.

It could just be his mind over thinking in his wounded state, but he doesn’t know how else to cope with it. Everything feels wrong and off and just – he doesn’t even know. Of course he knows it’s a hormone thing, after having Louis so close to him for so long his body had assumed he was courting him and the emotional strain of breaking a courtship is terrible on a hormonal level, but even thinking about it scientifically doesn’t make it feel better.

He can’t even pinpoint a single moment where they weren’t happy. Where Louis didn’t seem like he felt the love and care that Harry was trying to give him, where Louis wasn’t smiling or Harry wasn’t at least _trying_ to make him smile. He can’t think of a single thing he could have done that would have made him so angry that he would have just walked out without a reason like this.

He feels entirely vulnerable in a way that he’s never experienced in his life and it’s making his head spin and thoughts run through his head that he’s never experienced. Louis is the only omega he’s ever really considered himself to be serious with. Of course he’d slept with and dated several other omegas, but he’d never loved any of them, never let any of them come into his home and life at such a level that he’s allowed Louis to.

Louis is just – he’s something that he doesn’t even know how to describe. He’d thought they were close enough that they could have communicated through any problems they were having, but he figures that he was just on a different level than Louis was.

 

The next case he has to deal with at work is about an alpha that has tortured and killed three others. He’d cut their knots out and forced them to – he feels sick just _reading_ about it. Seeing things like that has become his life, though, so he doesn’t pay much attention. Reading through the entire case, though, he realizes that there is enough evidence present to just let the Manchester Police Department handle it; their services aren’t needed to figure that killer out.

Liam comes into his office with a paper cup of tea in his hand and hands it over to Harry with a small smile. “Hey, Boss.” He says and leans against the wall. It’s lunch time, but Harry doesn’t really have much of an apetite. He’d rather take a nap. “You up to go down to that restaurant down the road to get some lunch?” He seems so enthusiastic that he can’t turn it down. So he nods and returns the smile that Liam gives him.

Zayn joins them, and for a moment, Harry forgets that he’s supposed to be moping. He laughs and smiles and actually manages to have a good time with his friends, and he thinks that that has to count for _something._ “So, anything new with you two?”

“Niall agreed to let us start courting him proper, like.” Zayn seems so happy – and thinking about his friend being in love and being happy doesn’t make him feel worse, surpringingly – so he just listens with a grin. “I guess it’s a bit backwards cause, like, we’ve already had loads of sex, but in a few months he said he’ll join our bond if we have a successful court.”

“Isn’t it considered a pack if there’s more than two?”

“Technically. But I don’t really want to call it that ‘cause it makes me think that we’re going to keep adding people and I think two alphas and an omega is plenty.”

“Don’t think I could handle much more to be honest.” Liam chimes in with a little wink and Zayn rolls his eyes.

 

The house is starting to not smell like him anymore, and every trace that Louis had left of existing here is slowly disappearing. That’s the first thing he notices when he tosses his jacket off of his shoulders when he comes home from work on Tuesday evening.

It isn’t – it isn’t like Harry can’t handle a break up. He can. He’s handled plenty in his life and has always gotten through them, but the fact that Louis had left the day after he’d told him he _loved_ him and not returned made his heart ache in ways he couldn’t explain.

Now, though, the ache is just replaced by anger. He wants to scream and cry and rip things apart. It’s the alpha in him, he thinks, because he wants to _destroy._ It isn’t fair that Louis up and left him without a reason and it certainly isn’t fair that he’s stuck, alone, to deal with damage control that he doesn’t even know the cause of. He wants to know why, if nothing else. He wants to know what he’s done to deserve to be left behind. Louis had deleted all of his social media after he’d realized that the world knowing what he was doing gave him anxiety, so there isn’t even a way for him to check up on him without having to ask his friends. Asking his friends would only show exactly how desperate he is to know and he doesn’t think that that would make anything better.

It hurts.

Things are a bit of a blur after the third week ends. He doesn’t really want to get out of bed, though he forces himself to get up and go everywhere he knows he has to every day. Going to work and then coming home and going to sleep has mostly just become his daily routine, but something feels like it’s missing in a way he can’t explain.

All he realizes when he gets up is that his feet are moving, that he’s walking down the road and into the convenience store. Before he’s really realized what he’s done, he’s half way through an entire bottle of whiskey. The room is spinning and he feels like he’s floating, like the world is drifting away and he can just be at peace. Everything is slower, nothing hurts as bad as it had before. He feels warm and content and he’s not thinking about the aching pain of heart break in his chest.

When he sleeps, he can’t really tell if he’s on the floor or the couch, but he’s on a flat surface, so that’s all he really cares about.

 

“Harry?” He hears from his door when he wakes. The noise makes it feel like a knife has impaled the side of his head, and opening his eyes makes it worse – the light assaults his eyes and makes him groan loudly. His head is throbbing, the pain making itself clear in the front of his skull and the nausea churning around the supper he’d had the night before, even after he’s closed his eyes. “Harry, oh, God. What did you do?” It’s Zayn, he realizes, and then there’s hands on him and he’s being turned over. The light is bright even through the backs of his eyelids, so he brings his arm over his eyes to shield himself away from it.

“Get me some water, please?” He asks, wincing at the sound of his own voice. His mouth tastes like alcohol and morning breath. He’s still got his eyes closed, but Zayn’s hands aren’t on him anymore and he hears footsteps against the wooden floor of his kitchen, but he can only hope that it’s Zayn getting him water. Then there’s something cold against his hand and he drinks it all down quickly. He knows he fucked up – and now he’s just waiting for Zayn to bring it up.

Zayn’s always been passive enough to just pretend things aren’t happening, but he knows that this isn’t something he’ll let slide by. The last time he had, Harry had almost died and he knows that Zayn still blames himself for that. He always wishes he wouldn’t, tells him over and over that it was his own decision, but he can never quite get Zayn to let go of that guilt.

“What happened, H? It’s been three years.” When he opens his eyes, he can see the concern on Zayn’s face. Zayn runs his fingers through Harry’s hair soothingly, as if trying to will the headache away with his fingers. It’s a kind gesture and it reminds him that Zayn isn’t angry, just concerned and maybe scared. He doesn’t – the concern and pity on the faces of his friends is not what he needs. He just wants to be left alone.

“Just leave it, Zayn. It’s not a big deal.” It’s the wrong thing to say. It’s a _mean_ thing to say, but he doesn’t want to deal with that right now. The pain of Louis being gone is hitting him right back in the face and he doesn’t want to deal with his own problems on top of his relationship problems.

“It is a big fucking deal, Harry. You slept all day. It’s six in the evening. You didn’t even call to let the office know you weren’t coming in.” He grimaces. That wasn’t something he had realized. “I know I ignored it the last time you did this shit to yourself, and I know the last time things got out of hand faster than either of us realized, but if this happens again, you’re going back to rehab, H. No arguments.” Zayn’s tone leaves no room for argument anyway. “Now tell me what happened?”

“I miss him.” Harry says, his voice coming out more like a sob than he’d intended. “I don’t even know what I did. I just. I love him so much, Zayn, and he just up and left me without so much as a goodbye! What did I do?” He’s crying before he realizes it and brings his knees up to his chest and rests his head on them. It’s completely unalpha-like to cry, but he doesn’t know what else to do. He’s overwhelmed and everything hurts. Everything feels like it’s coming crashing down on him and he can’t handle it.

“I can only imagine how hard it must be, H.” Zayn rubs a circle on his back. “But I don’t think Louis could ever manage to leave you forever. If I’m right, he’ll be back soon. The way he looked at you was – it was the look of someone in love. That’s a look that’s awfully hard to fake and I don’t think he’s left for something that doesn’t have importance to him.” Harry sniffles. “Have you tried calling him?”

“I called him every day for the first week. He didn’t answer once. Then I went to every other day the second week. Then I called him last night for the first time this week and… nothing. He hasn’t responded to any of my attempts to contact him.” Zayn sighs softly. His fingers are still moving through his hair, but instead of the tugging and pulling that was meant to soothe his head, it’s more of a petting motion to help him feel better emotionally.

“Well, you’re going to get through this, Haz. The first step is not to go straight to the bottle, okay? Never again. If you get that urge again, you call me or Liam.”

“I know. It was stupid.”

“Do you want me to call Louis? Just to see if I can get an answer out of him?” That makes Harry choke on another sob. He wants to know – of course he does – but just the knowledge that he’s still been talking to Zayn all this time makes him feel even worse. How could he do that? How could _Zayn_ do that? How could they all keep up contact and cut him out of the loop like that?

“Yes. But – no. No. I don’t –“ He sniffles. “I just want to know how he’s doing.”

“All right. Quit your crying then and I’ll give him a call.” Harry nods and crawls up on the couch, lays his head against the arm of the couch. He sighs as he watches Zayn pull out his mobile and scroll through his contacts until he finds Louis’ number. His heart is jack-rabbiting in his chest with anxiety, both worry that Louis isn’t okay and that he _is._ It’s horribly selfish to not want Louis to be okay – but a part of him really wants to know that Louis is as miserable as he is because he doesn’t want to feel this miserable and be alone in it. “Hey, Lou.” Zayn says after barely any time at all and more tears run down Harry’s face at that.

He can just barely hear Louis’ voice over the line. He can’t make out the words, but it’s enough that he knows that it is Louis talking, and it completely breaks down any resolve that he’d thought he had. With a final sob, he forces himself off of the couch and goes to his room, lays down on his bed, and pulls a pillow over his head. His tears are soaking the entire material around his face, but it feels good to cry. It feels even better to know that Zayn won’t judge him for it.

“He’s coming back to London in three days.” Zayn says from his doorway. “He asked me not to tell you.” That feels like the kind of slap in the face no one should ever have to experience. It hurts in a way that Harry isn’t sure he’s ever felt.

The simple fact that Louis is coming back in town and doesn’t even want him to know – it says more than anything else has. He wants to completely rid Harry of his life, it seems. Before, he’d hung on to the slight possibility that Louis was maybe – just maybe – going to come home to him and he was just too busy having fun with the girls to be able to respond to any of his texts or answer any of his calls.

That hope had very slowly diminished as the days went on, but with one sentence out of Zayn’s mouth, it went away completely. His inner alpha wants to break something, wants to scream and cry, but he doesn’t. Instead, he just leans back on the couch and closes his eyes. He takes four deep breathes, clenches and unclenches his fists, and then he cries.

It’s rare for an alpha to cry, but when it happens, something has really hurt them. Harry can count the times he’s cried properly on one hand, and it seems that Louis had implanted himself to firmly into his life that he was worth crying over.

Zayn sits with him and grabs his shoulder tightly, trying to comfort him, but it doesn’t do much. He hurts. His heart aches. He wants a drink.

 

 

LOUIS.

Being at his mum’s house is normally such a nice experience, normally something he looks forward to in ways he’s never really been able to describe to anyone else. But this time, all he can think about is Harry.

He’d thought about Harry the entire time he was in heat, thought about him touching him and fucking him and everything that he so desperately wanted. There’s so much from Harry that he wants but knows he can never have. It hurts to know that Harry will just move on with his life without even a hiccup, probably, but Louis isn’t sure he’ll ever move on.

He could feel it from day one – Harry was meant to be his end game. But he just can’t handle bringing him down anymore. He can’t handle the way he will literally ruin Harry’s life – tear everything out of him, piece by piece.

So he’s curled up on his mother’s couch, a blanket around his shoulders and a cup of tea in his hands. He’s tired, only a day out of heat, and all he really wants is to relax. Lottie is sitting on the couch opposite him, but she looks up and walks away after a moment. Louis sighs softly when his mum sits beside him. Since she made Lottie leave, this probably means that the talk is going to be serious. He really just isn’t in the mood.

“All right, sweetheart. I really don’t mean to be rude especially when you’re fresh out of heat, but you need to tell me what’s going on with you and that alpha boy.” He’s exhausted, both mentally and physically, and he really just wants to sleep even though he knows he can’t. He offers some space beneath the blanket up for his mum and sighs happily when she crawls under with him and wraps an arm around his shoulders.

“I love him, mum.” She coos a bit and runs her fingers through his hair.

“Then why aren’t you with him? Why did you want to spend your heat here instead of with him?”

“Because I’m such a burden to him and I know that. I can’t even – he can’t – he’s an alpha, so like, you know he wants to have sex. But I just –“ He sighs. “I can’t even let him touch me like that, and I trust him an awful lot. So I can’t just like, force him to live without sex and touch. Plus I have my panic attacks all the time and I just – I’m a burden to him. I’ll ruin his entire life.”

“I really highly doubt he really minds not having sex with you, sweetheart. If that was really all that your relationship was about he would have left you a long time ago. I know you think that you’re being a burden to all of the people around you, but you really aren’t. I love you and I don’t think you’re a burden, and if he loves you too, he wouldn’t think you’re a burden. Have you spoken with him about this at all?”

“I’ve tried to a few times, but like, he never even lets me finish. Like I tell him I know he has to put up with stuff he shouldn’t have to and he always just stops me before I can even finish telling him how I feel. I know it’s because he’s interrupting to tell me he doesn’t feel that way but – I don’t know.”

“Sweetheart, you’ve been through your classes much more recently than I have. You know better than anyone else that if an alpha says something over and over and doesn’t show any anger about it that he’s telling the truth.” She says and logically, really, Louis knows that. Maybe he does. He just – it’s hard to hear things like that because he doesn’t think he deserves any of that. He doesn’t think even in the slightest that he deserves Harry’s love and affection in any way. Harry is – he’s just _Harry._

Everything about him is just perfect and incredible and everything that Louis _isn’t._ He doesn’t know how to deal with that. He doesn’t know what to feel every time that Harry says he loves him when all Louis can see is the flaws in his life and his mind and his body.

“So now that I know you know that, what’s really going on?”

“I don’t – desereve him mum. He’s just – great. And I’m just not.” Jay coos, runs her fingers through his hair and kisses his forehead.

“That’s not true my love, not even in the slightest. You’re perfect. No matter what you think about yourself or how much you hate your anxiety and all of the things that you think are wrong with you, I love you and if Harry loves you too, we don’t mind. You’re perfect just the way you are and I really wish you could see that.”

“Me too.” He says and a few tears roll down his cheeks. “I think I need to just stay away from Harry, though. He’s better off without me and I don’t want to keep weighing him down like this. He needs – he will find a better omega and have the kind of life that he really wants, not a life that’s constantly spent worrying if I am mentally stable enough to go to the fucking shoppes for milk.” Just in the way that his mum doesn’t correct his language tells him that she understands that he’s in a bad place in his head.

“Do you want me to just let you stick with that decision or do you want my motherly advice?” She strokes her fingers through his hair all over again and gives a gentle smile.

“I think I’m just going to stay with my decision.” She nods. He covers his mouth when he yawns and tucks the blanket around himself tighter.

“Get some sleep, love. You look tired.”

“Yeah, all right.” He goes up to his own room after that and collapses down on the bed. His eyes are tired and heavy, but he doesn’t think he’ll be able to sleep. His head is still filled with thoughts of Harry that just won’t seem to go away.

He feels terribly, horribly guilty. He’d left Harry without a word and maybe that wasn’t the way he should have gone about this. Maybe he should have talked to Harry, maybe he should have spoken about his feelings a little more before he just decided to act on them. It’s something he knows he should regret and he really, really does, so he grabs his phone.

Calling Harry would be easy. It would be easy to just call him and apologize for completely ghosting, then explain why the two of them can’t see each other anymore. It should be easy, at least.

But Harry’s probably long since moved on with his life. He’s probably happy that he doesn’t have to stay home and babysit Louis intead of being able to go out and hang out with his friends. He’s probably glad to have Louis gone. He can imagine how happy he would be if he didn’t have to deal with himself anymore, so Harry must be relieved.

The poor alpha probably only put up with him for so long because of instincts, anyway. There’s no way an alpha would stay with an omega who denied him on a regular basis because he wanted to. He was probably just inclined because of biology to want to take care of Louis, and now that he’s gone Louis can only imagine how much relief he must feel about no longer having to do so.

He cries himself to sleep with his phone still in his hand.

 

 

Going home doesn’t make him feel any better, either. He still feels numb and sad and he’s still tired. He had planned on having a night in, but then Niall decided that he was going to go out with his mates that night. He’d assured him it wasn’t Harry, but that only made his stomach twist more.

Louis doesn’t know what made him decide to go out, but when he gets back to London, he decides to take Niall up on one of his no longer really existent invitations to go out. His friend has long since invited him out, after he’d just kept getting turned down, but something inside of him is just saying that it’s time. He needs to move on, he needs to be better, like, yesterday. He’s tired of being afraid all the time and he’s terrified of feeling like this for the rest of his life.

So, he finds himself sitting at one of the tables in a club, watching the mass of bodies dancing about to a newer pop tune that he doesn’t particularly recognize. He feels like he’s the only one that isn’t having fun. Before, he’d thrive at clubs. He’d be out there right beside everyone else, dancing to the music and grinding up against the nearest alpha. He’d pretend he was out to pull, just to watch alphas swoon over him for _fun,_ then go home and laugh about it with Niall.

Sometimes he wishes maybe he would have just let one of those random alphas fuck him. Maybe then he wouldn’t have been so petrified over the thought of having his virginity stolen from him. Maybe if he would have done that, he wouldn’t be so skittish with Harry. There are just so many things in his life that he wishes he could have done differently. Things he wishes every day that he would have changed so he wouldn’t have ended up here, afraid and feeling sick as he sips at a pepsi.

He wishes he never would have taken that fucking job at the market. He wishes he wasn’t so nice, wishes he wouldn’t have offered to take that old woman’s bags out for her, wishes he could have just stayed in and finished his boring shift.

He pushes those thoughts away from his head, stopping himself from crying. He knows that if he would have kept thinking he would be crying, so instead, he finds Niall. Niall is dancing with some alpha, but as soon as he sees him he excuses himself. “Will you dance with me? I want to have some fun?” Niall nods, a big smile on his face.

His friend smells like he’s already had quite a bit to drink, something he used to love about Niall, but Louis doesn’t mind. He doesn’t want to drink – too scared to lose control of himself in public – but he’s happy to support his friend if he wants to.

So they dance. They have a proper night together, and Louis doesn’t even let the fact that there are dozens of alphas staring at them alter the fact that he is having fun. “I really do want to go dance with some alphas though, Lou.” Niall says about two hours into their little friend night. “No offence, but I might want to like…” He makes a lude motion with his hands and Louis flushes.

“yeah, course. Go have fun. Use protection.” Niall snorts and nods, then he’s gone. Louis makes his way back to his chair after he asks the barmaid for a new soda. As soon as he sits, though, he’s hit with an incredibly familiar scent.

_Harry._

His entire body reacts from how much he misses the alpha’s scent. It’s awful – the way his cock twitches in his pants instinctually and how he feels every desire in his body to bare his neck. It’s not usual for an omega to just completely leave an alpha from their life in such a short time, so Louis knows it’s only biology for his body to be acting this way. But it does nothing to help how much his heart is aching, too. He hurts everywhere with how much he wants Harry. He wants to just sit in his lap and scent him, wants to kiss him, or even just have another conversation with him.

Their eyes don’t meet when he finally sees him.

He’s slumped over at a table in the back, a bottle in his hand. The scene doesn’t look pleasant – doesn’t look like something that he would ever want to see. Liam is standing behind him, clearly trying to talk to him but having no luck.

Louis’ never seen Harry drink. At every bar meeting with their friends, ever dinner night, every social gathering, all he ever had was water or a soda. His and Liam’s eyes meet, and Liam just glares. He’s never gotten such a cruel look from an alpha, never seen such a hard glare from one directed at _any_ omega. It makes him feel sick, makes him want to submit.

But that could also just be Harry’s scent.

Liam lugs Harry up, putting an arm under him and helping him to the door. Harry is barely walking, stumbling is the better word, and he barely even looks conscious. It’s just a little terrifying.

 

He goes home after that. Nothing really feels right after he’s seen Harry.

Then his phone chimes with a message from Zayn.

_Harry is rlly torn up over u. I’m not going 2 tell you what 2 do, but you should rlly give him a call._

He doesn’t know why he feels like he owes Harry that. He doesn’t. He doesn’t owe anyone _anything –_ but if Harry really is that upset because of him, maybe he should.

_Srry Z. I really just need to get him out of my head._

Zayn doesn’t respond, but that’s enough of a response in itself.

 

Liam is at his door the next day, his work suit still on, and that same glare on his face. “I thought you were a good fucking person, Louis.” He sounds completely livid, and Louis cowers. He steps back, his body trembling as Liam just lets himself right on in. “Harry is – he’s losing his mind because you think you’re what? Too good to pick up a god damn phone call? Entitled? Too good for him now? What? Did you just _use_ him until you thought you were better?” Louis has backed up against the wall of his apartment. Liam isn’t boxing him in, but the entire room feels about forty times smaller. “You know what, don’t answer any of that. I just hope you know this is all your fucking fault. I was skeptical of you at first, but I should have trusted my gut all along. Some shitty omegas just never seem to know when to stop taking, huh?” That’s what breaks it for Louis.

Liam storms out of the apartment after that, the slam of the door leaving the walls shaking just like Louis’ hands. He sobs harder than he has in a long while, just sits there and cries until Niall comes home several hours later and wraps him up in a hug.

 

He tries to apologize to Liam later, but he never gets an answer. Zayn stops responding to his texts, too. He assumes the two of them just decided to stay on Harry’s side for all of this and don’t want anything to do with him anymore.

That’s okay, he figures.

Harry had become such a massive part of his life that he hadn’t even realized how much he would lose when he lost him. He hadn’t realized exactly how much he really depended on going to Harry’s work every day to give him a visit and he hadn’t realized how much his body would really miss being enveloped by alpha scent all the time. He feels tired all the time now, the same way he had felt before. It hadn’t been so obvious before, the ever-present drag of his exhaustion, until he got used to the energy and hormonal balance that really came with being around an alpha.

So he just lays in bed, mostly.

Moping quickly turns into what he’s doing all over again. Niall gets to hear him cry almost every night about how much he misses Harry but how much he can’t force the poor alpha to put up with his problems. Niall never really gives his input, just pets Louis’ hair just how he likes, and it’s enough. He’s certain that everyone around him disagrees with the way he’s dealt with this, but no one knows how fucked up his head is.

What if Harry wants to bond? What happens then?

All of their thoughts would mingle together as one. Harry would finally see exactly how dark of a place his head is and then they’d be stuck together. Or worse, Harry would break their bond and Louis would be even worse. He’s only met one omega ever who’s been through a broken bond and not considered their entire life ruined from it.

She was strong. Louis is not.

 

He stalks Harry’s facebook page for an entire day, but he can’t see much since he doesn’t have a profile. All he can see is what he’s set as public, so he just stares at the three profile pictures he can see and cries again.

It’s rude and probably a massive invasion of privacy, but Louis just has to know. He doesn’t know what he’s going to do if he has to keep being left in the dark about Harry’s life. Before, when Liam and Zayn would let him know how he was doing, it was better. He could live and know that Harry was doing fine.

So he logs on to Niall’s computer and opens his facebook, which is already logged in.

The first thing he sees on Harry’s profile is a post about going back to AA meetings.

_For those of you who have seen me in my little slump these past weeks, I apologize. I’ll be returning to alcohol counselling and I am deeply sorry to anyone I’ve hurt, worried, or offended in the last weeks. All the love, H._

Below it is a hand with a fist full of medals and awards from AA. His heart aches. Did Harry – did he go back to drinking because of Louis? Was he the trigger? No – it was – it was Louis _leaving_ him. Oh, god.

Louis throws up in the kitchen rubbish bin. 

HARRY.

The withdrawls are always the worst. Liam and Zayn are nursing him with water as his hands are shaking and his body wants nothing more than the alcohol he’d been pouring into it at unhealthy quantities for the last two weeks. It’s incredible how fast he found himself addicted all over again. After five years of being completely sober, all it took was one night of having a few too many drinks and he fell into the same spiral downwards that he’d promised himself he’d never fall back into.

He just wanted to feel nothing for a little while. Since Louis left, he’s felt everything so over amplified and loud that it hurt his head and made him feel sick. It’s all too much. Zayn forces him to drink more water, then he crawls over to the side of the bed and dry heaves over his rubbish bin. He’s sweaty and his skin feels like it’s on fire, but he drinks more water anyway.

“I’m never drinking again.” He croaks out and gets a little smile from his two friends.

“Never again, mate. Never again.” Zayn says and threads his fingers through Harry’s hair. “We’re gonna be here for you no matter what though, alright? We need you to know that. We’re your support system, as long as you need us. We’re always gonna be here for you, Haz. Always.” Liam nods his agreement and Harry smiles. He’s so grateful for the people in his life.

“I miss him.” He blubbers out and gets a sympathetic look in return.

“Try not to think about it too much. He’s an arse anyway, for doing this to you.” Harry sniffles. He doesn’t think Louis is an arse and he certainly doesn’t think he’s a bad person. He loves him, always will, he thinks, and that’s scary. He can see himself still loving Louis in years and years, when he’s much older. He can see himself being unhappy if he ever finds someone else and can’t stop thinking about the omega that stole his heart in his late twenties.

Whether or not he’ll actually feel like that, he doesn’t know, but right now he does. He hurts everywhere and he doesn’t even think all of it is from the alcohol withdrawls. Some of it is just from the pain of still missing Louis.

Eventually, he falls into a restless sleep.

He’ll be okay, eventually.

 

Another week later, Harry isn’t as emotionally wrecked as he had been. Going to work isn’t a struggle anymore and finding the will to get up and go about his day isn’t the same struggle that he’d thought it had been for the last two weeks. He’s managed to find energy again, Zayn and Liam are making him laugh, and he’s sprayed enough frebreeze in the house to completely rid it of Louis’ scent.

He's been to three AA meetings since he last heard anything about Louis, and he’s not had anything to drink in two weeks. It’s a small step, but he knows he can do it. He knows he can be better for himself again.

Zayn and Liam have been babysitting him almost constantly, coming over and making sure he doesn’t smell like alcohol and bringing him something to eat, but he understands. He’d taken the week off of work, unless they needed him to come in for a travelling case, but his boss had understood when he’d told her what happened.

He doesn’t need the time off, at least not anymore, but it feels good to have a few days to just go do some things that he enjoys to force himself to feel completely better. So, Thursday afternoon, he goes to see his sister.

She opens the door with a grin and invites him in. “Hi, Haz. How are you?”

“I’m doing pretty good, actually. How’s life been treating you?”

“Good. Yeah, really good. I’ve got quite a bit of revising to do since final exams are up soon, but I can take an afternoon off. Do you want tea?”

“Sure, thanks.” They sit down together for a long while and eventually she manages to pry everything about Louis out of him, but even as he talks about him, he doesn’t feel the pain that he’d been feeling before. He knows he’ll feel it again soon, probably that night when he goes to bed after thinking about it again, but he’s okay. He’s finally able to tell himself that he is okay and he knows that he will continue to be okay, no matter what.

Telling Gemma about his relapse is scary, but the way she just squeezes his hand and gives him a little smile, he knows it’s okay.

No matter how much he wishes that Louis was still sitting right beside him.

 

Thursday nights, like usual, are still guys night. After he leaves Gemma’s flat, he drives right down to Zayn’s flat and lets himself in, a tradition they’ve all been doing since their uni years. It’s led to a lot of walking in on the two of them fucking, but that’s just another thing that he’s gotten used to.

Luckily, though, the two of them are just sitting on the couch, scrolling through the films on Netflix.

They’ve continued to have their guys nights, but the only rule was that they weren’t allowed to talk about Louis. None of them were allowed to talk about Louis unless Harry started the conversation, and he didn’t want to. After Zayn and Liam had stopped having any kind of contact with Louis, everything was okay. There wasn’t even a hint of his scent on either of them to remind him how much he missed the omega.

Eventually, he’d move on and let the wounds heal. It just – it’s harder than it sounds. Every trace of Louis is gone now, from the way he’d throw his towels in a certain place on the ground of the bathroom floor every time he showered to the way there would always be more dog hair on his side of the bed than Harry’s because he’d pet him more before he went to sleep.

Watching the traces of him disappear is the hardest part, he thinks. But Zayn and Liam coming over as often as they do helps. It’s helped that wound in his chest heal the best that it can without Louis coming back.

So, when he first brings up Louis, he isn’t surprised that he gets two shocked faces staring at him. “Do you think me misses me?” He asks.

“I’m sure he does. Niall says he mopes a lot.” Harry furrows his eyebrows.

“I don’t get it.” Harry says and shakes his head. “He left me. What right does he have to be miserable?” Harry’s nearly yelling by the end of his sentence, but neither Zayn or Liam flinch.

“He told us why he left, before we stopped talking, but I think it’s best you hear from him. Maybe you should go see him.” Zayn says that, but Liam just looks angry. Harry doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to come crawling over to Louis with every apology for things he doesn’t even know he’s done on his tongue. He doesn’t want to make a fool of himself if Louis just lost interest and he hasn’t done anything wrong. He just wants everything to stop hurting and the world to be a little kinder to him.

 

Yet, no one is surprised when he’s on Louis’ doorstep the next day. Niall answers the door and gives a sympathetic look, but lets him in. The telly is playing in living room and there’s a pile of blankets on the couch that he doesn’t realize is Louis until he’s already caught his eye.

Louis looks shocked, caught off guard and just enough scared to make Harry feel like shit. “Hi.” Harry chokes out after a moment, clearing his throat.

“Why are you here, Harry?” That makes just a little bit of anger boil up in Harry’s chest, makes him want to scream and yell that he _knows_ why he’s there – yet he doesn’t.

“You know, I’m starting to ask myself the same thing.” He says with a gentle sigh and pretends not to notice the look of pain flash across Louis’ face. “You left. I get that. You left and told me you’d be back, that I don’t get. If you wanted to fucking –“ Harry takes a breath. “If you wanted to skip out, it would have been really nice of you to say something. But you know what, I don’t even know why I’m here. You clearly don’t think you have anything to explain and seeing you here, clearly content after you broke my _fucking_ heart, I don’t think I want to hear it, either.” He can feel that his face is hot and red by the time he’s done, but he’s proud of himself for not yelling.

Louis is blinking fast, like he’s trying to keep tears out of his eyes as Harry walks out. He doesn’t bother to listen to Louis’ explanation, but when the door is closed behind him, he doubts he was going to get one anyway.

His pulse is still racing and he knows it isn’t safe for him to drive right now, not when he’s this worked up and emotional. It won’t turn out well for him or for any of the other drivers on the road, so he just sits on the curb beside his car for a while. The air around him is chilly, getting colder and colder as winter comes closer.

“I thought you’d be happy to have me out of your life.” Is the first thing he hears out of Louis’ mouth. When he looks up, he can’t see anything but pure honesty on his face. He looks so sad and ashamed that Harry doesn’t know what to feel. He’s put clothes on, but there are still slippers on his feet and his hair is still tousled. “I didn’t – I saw how badly I was burdening you, Harry. You had to take care of me in every way. I can’t – I can’t keep expecting that of you. I couldn’t.” A tear falls down his cheek but he wipes it away quickly. It’s the only thing that lets Harry know he isn’t trying to make himself be the victim – he isn’t letting Harry see his sadness. “It’s selfish, and I know it is, but I had to – I had to leave before you told me that. Before you snapped and decided you didn’t want me to keep burdening you and kicked me out. I wouldn’t have been able to handle you telling me to leave, so I just had to make that decision for myself.”

Harry shakes his head. He doesn’t know what to say to that – he should be angry. He _should_ feel a lot of things, but Louis doesn’t smell like he’s lying and he certainly doesn’t look it, either. “Come sit?” He asks and Louis comes over without a single doubt in his step. “I’m going to be honest. It was a little frustrating sometimes, not knowing what mood you’d be in on certain days. But I could see the way you tried to control it and you’re doing your best to get better. I know that. I think you do, too. I appreciate that. No matter how frustrated I got, though, Lou, I still love you. Present tense. Maybe yours is past tense, but mine isn’t.” Louis takes in a deep breath and a few more tears fall. Harry wipes them away for him.

“I don’t like being away from you. I just – I thought maybe it was better. I figured by now you’d realize how awful it was living with me and you’d feel better. Zayn and Liam wouldn’t tell me anything about how you were feeling or acting or anything – so I just assumed you were doing well and they didn’t want to tell me and hurt my feelings.” Louis shrugs, but it’s full of such sadness that Harry’s heart aches.

“Do you want to be with me, Louis? Do you want something serious between us, or are you just planning on running off again if I let you back into my life?” A wounded look flashes across the omega’s face, but Harry doesn’t feel bad. It’s unlike him to not feel bad when he hurts an omega, especially one he cares for, but this is just something that needs to be said. He feels so raw with emotion that he doesn’t know how to say what he needs to say without just saying it. “Because like I said, I love you so, so much. But I can’t let you come back in if you’re just going to hurt me again like that. I can’t handle it. If you want to be with me, you’re welcome to. But if you don’t, tell me now and let it be done.”

“I’m sorry.” Louis says, sounding defeated. “I’m so, so sorry Harry. I miss you so much and I want – I’ve wanted to come back the entire time but –“

“Do you still want to?”

“Yes.”

“Then come back with me.” Louis nods and Harry isn’t sure what he feels – relief, happiness, satisfaction. Everything. The thought that Louis could be coming back with him and they could pick up where they left off is such a good feeling. “Promise me you won’t leave me again. I don’t think I could handle it if you did.” Harry says and Louis hugs him tightly.

It’s not normal for an alpha to show any kind of weakness around an omega, so the surprise that he can see in Louis’ eyes doesn’t take him back. Harry looks at him, waiting for some kind of response to that. He can’t take Louis home with him if there’s even that possibility. He doesn’t think he could handle it.

“I promise, Harry. I’ve felt it since that first day I met you. You’re my end game, you know that? You’re the best I’m ever going to get and the best I could ever ask for. I just hope that I can be even slightly enough for you.”

“You’re the best I could ever ask for, too, Louis. More than that.” Harry picks Louis up as they go back inside. He’s barefoot, and Harry doesn’t want him walking on the pavement without shoes on, so carrying him felt like the right thing to do.

As soon as they’re through the threshold of Harry’s house, Louis kisses him. It’s not a sexual kiss, but it feels like everything is finally clicking back into place. He feels like everything is all right again, for the first time in too long. He feels like he has that piece of himself back and that there’s nothing wrong anymore.

Of course he still has to work on fixing the holes in his life that he dug while he was down in his slump, but it’ll all be so much easier now. He can feel how much better it’s going to be to have Louis back with him. He can tell that everything is just going to go right back to how it was and Harry really, honestly, can’t wait.

 

They’re sat on Harry’s couch, Louis on his lap and Harry’s arms tightly around his waist, when the door clicks open. Harry immediately picks up on Liam’s scent, and smiles softly at the idea of his friend coming by. He’s going to be so happy to hear the news!

But Louis tenses, his entire body going stiff and his scent of fear thick in the room. “It’s just Liam, love. It’s okay.” But that doesn’t seem to help. Louis gets up and darts off, runs back up the stairs and, Harry hopes, to their bedroom.

Liam comes into the living room and his eyebrows furrow. “Is – Has Louis been here?”

“Yeah. Yeah. He and I are all okay now.” Liam’s eyebrows don’t unfurrow, so Harry crosses his arms over his chest. The room feels tense and the atmosphere thick. “Do you have a problem with that or something? I thought you wanted him and I to get back together?”

“I did, at first!” He says, exasperated. “At first I thought he actually had like, a valid reason for hurting you. Then I realized that he just didn’t want to like – he didn’t have a good reason at all, Haz! It was all selfish and awful of him to just leave you like that. You could have _died_ because of his shitty little stunt!”

“What the fuck did you do to him?” Harry asks, but it’s a growl. It’s been a long time since he’s growled or lost self-control in the way he can feel himself doing now. They learned to control that at the academy, learned that if they didn’t it could ruin their entire career.

“I told him off.” Liam says as if it’s normal.

“You _what?!”_ Harry shouts, feeling his chest rumble. “You know he has anxiety problems. Why the _fuck_ would you think it was okay to _ever_ go after an omega like that? What could possibly have been going through your head when you decided to go after _my_ omega without so much as a word about it to me? Now he’s fucking terrified of you, Liam.” He’s slowly coming back to himself, forcing himself to come down from the instinctual fighting reaction. “The second he smelled your scent, he froze up and ran off. Did you touch him? Did you lay a hand on him?” His voice goes low, deep and scary, but he’s not lost himself.

He, Zayn, and Liam have always had some kind of a pack-dynamic. They’ve known each other so long that it just formed naturally. Harry’s the most dominant of the three of them, so he wound up becoming the leader of their sort-of-pack. Liam takes a step back and reminds Harry exactly how much their dynamic affects their friendship.

“I didn’t touch him. I promise. I just – I yelled at him a little. I’m really sorry, Harry. I really wasn’t thinking when I said what I said because I was just so devastated after I’d dragged you home from the club. He was there that night and – I guess I just decided that it was all his fault and I got angry and went off. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not me you should be apologizing to.”

“I can come back by soon. Um. Tell Louis I’m really sorry, but I’m definitely going to come apologize when he’s ready to hear it from me.”

“I forgive you.” Louis says from behind Harry, startling the both of them. “I know you were just emotional. It’s okay.” The omega is smiling slightly, but it certainly isn’t reaching his eyes.

“It’s really not. What I said was so uncalled for.”

“What did you say?” Harry asks, a scowl on his face as his arm slides around Louis. Liam sighs and a terribly guilty look crosses his face.

“I called him a shitty omega.” Harry doesn’t know what to say to that, other than just stand there, mouth open and shock across his face. He’s never once heard Liam say something so vile, let alone to someone that he’d once called a friend. “Which – I honestly did not mean. I swear to God. It was just so – I was so angry and I know that’s not an excuse, but you’re really not a bad omega, Louis. I promise.”

“I think you need to leave, Liam.” He nods.

“I’m really sorry, to both of you. I hope we can be okay, later.” Louis nods, but Harry stays stoic.

 

They cuddle on the couch again for a while, until Louis falls asleep with his nose placed right against the junction of Harry’s throat and shoulder, where his scent is the strongest.

So it’s really not that much of a surprise when Louis wakes a few hours later, wet and hard right on Harry’s lap. Scenting is definitely one of the most intimate things an alpha and omega can do, so as he comes back to consciousness and starts to grind down on him, Harry has to take a moment and calm himself down.

A little whimper comes from his throat, and Harry grips at his sides. He wants nothing more than to just fuck Louis, to take what he’s wanted for months and months and _claim,_ but he knows Louis is so uncomfortable with sex. He has to control himself.

“Still.” Harry says, whispers lowly right in his ear, and his entire body goes pliant. He tilts his head to the side, baring his neck for the alpha and gets a small kiss there in return. “What do you want, Louis? You have to tell me how far you want this to go.”

Louis whimpers again. “Want you. Your knot. Want it.” He knows Louis hasn’t been on his birth control in months. It would be dangerous for them to have sex, so Harry just kisses his neck a few more times.

“Not tonight, Lou. I promise you can have me as soon as you’re back on your medications, okay?” Louis sniffles, but he nods. “You can have my fingers if you’d like. Is that okay?” That makes another whimper come from his omega’s mouth, and it’s the most beautiful noise Harry has ever heard. “Gonna carry you to the bedroom now, okay? Hold on.” He grabs Louis’ bum and holds him up as he stands, then carries him to their bedroom.

As soon as he lays his omega out on the bed, everything feels perfectly back in place. He feels like this is the start to their future, the beginning of everything he’s ever wanted. It’s all right here, right in front of him. He kisses Louis again, but this time it’s deep and their aroused scents are mixing in the air and making the room feel thick.

He gets Louis’ shirt off first, then his own. With each exposed piece of Louis’ skin, he places little kisses, gentle little reminders of how much he loves Louis and how much he wants to be there for him, for everything. “I love you.” He whispers between each few kisses, until he’s reached the hem of his omega’s trousers. “Okay?” He gets a nod in response, a smile on his face as he pulls the material away and kisses at his milky thighs, the beautiful skin there his new favorite thing in the entire world.

Louis cock is straining against his pants, and he’s wet enough that his boxers are sticking to his bum, but Harry isn’t ready just yet. He wants to take a while longer, to love every inch that he can get of Louis’ body. He wants to love him in every way he can.

He gets his own trousers off, then his pants, knowing that Louis likes him to be naked first. “Can you bend your legs up for me, love?” He asks as soon as he’s got Louis naked. He’s absolutely beautiful like this – spread out on his bed. He thinks Louis should never leave his bed like this – he should just stay here forever.

As soon as Louis takes his legs up, tucks them against his chest, Harry runs a finger through the dampness between his cheeks, before he slowly presses the single digit inside of him. His eyes have almost gone glassy now, the same way he’s seen many omega’s eyes go during sex, but it’s never been this quick. He worries that he’s gone too far already – but the little whimpers coming from his mouth were enough of a sign that he wasn’t.

“Love you, love you, I love you so much.” Louis says as Harry starts moving his finger, pressing it in angles and trying to find his prostate. As soon as he finds it, Louis’ entire body tenses up, his back arches, and his eyes squeeze shut.

He’s really the most beautiful thing Harry has ever seen in his entire life.

He presses a second finger in beside the first at the same time he wraps his lips around Louis’ cock. As soon as he presses his fingers against Louis’ prostate once again, Louis comes without warning. Harry doesn’t mind. He swirls his tongue around a bit more, rubbing his fingers right into Louis’ spot to help him through it.

Louis is quiet for a long moment, but Harry climbs back up the bed and kisses him. “Can I?” Louis asks, biting his lip.

“Only if you want to.”

“I do.” He says, and it’s hesitant, but it sounds truthful. “Will you sit against the headboard?” Harry hums in agreement, then sits back against the headboard and lets Louis crawl into his lap.

One of the most beautiful things in the world, it turns out, is the way Louis’ hand looks wrapped around Harry’s cock. It’s small and barely wraps around it, and as he tentatively moves his hand, smearing about the little drops of pre-come to make the slide easier, he looks like he’s not as nervous.

“Would this thing even like… would it _fit_ in me?” Harry laughs at that, a snort coming out of his mouth and Louis gets a dusting of a blush high on his cheeks.

“Yeah, babe. Can’t wait. It’s gonna look so nice, watching you open up around my cock.” Louis bites his lip at that, stroking his hand on Harry’s cock faster. “Want me to touch you again?” He nods, and it’s without any hesitance that Harry grabs the lube from his night stand, spreads it out on his palm, and starts jerking Louis off at the same pace the omega is using. The contrast between the two of them is incredible – the most fascinating thing about the alpha omega dynamic to Harry. Louis is small, but beautiful. He has small hands and he’s short, but he has these lovely curves that Harry could look at all day. Harry’s hands are big and he feels like they match up perfectly. This is it – this is exactly how they should be.

Harry comes first, but he doesn’t knot, so he keeps stroking Louis until he comes for a second time that night.

When he cleans both of them up with a wet flannel, he smells the content and sated pheromones from Louis as he’s slowly drifting into sleep. He cuddles close with him that night, feeling the best he ever has in his life.

 

 

LOUIS.

** Three months later **

Louis is back to living in Harry’s apartment – and everything is better than it’s ever been. He and Harry have sex now, regularly, and he feels like he’s almost better. Of course, he still has his moments of doubt – of self-hatred and fear – but it’s not debilitating anymore. Harry still leaves to go on work, but Louis has learned to live with that. That’s usually when he and Niall spend the most time together.

Niall, Zayn, and Liam bonded the week previous, as planned. The three of them didn’t surface from their apartment for almost three entire days, but as soon as they did, Harry had to drag Liam off to _America_ to help with an investigation. All the way to America. He still really can’t understand why American detectives would ask them to come all the way out there, but he assumes it’s because of Harry’s reputation of solving every case he comes across. Louis’ proud of that, of course, but sitting alone in their massive house by himself is lonely.

Harry’s due back tonight, and Louis is more than ready.

 

As soon as Harry walks in through the door, Louis jumps on him. He’s been gone only a few weeks, since supposedly this was an easy case, but it feels like an eternity. Harry wraps his arms around him tightly, scenting his neck and he can feel a curve upwards of lips against his skin and he feels like he’s _home._

He wasn’t even the one who left, and yet as soon as Harry walked through the door, it felt like everything fell back into place after the disarray it felt like it had been left in when his alpha had to leave.

“Let me go unpack, then I’ll come cuddle you for the rest of the night, all right?” Louis smiles and nods. Harry sets him back down with a little kiss to his head, then he heads off to their bedroom. He folds up Harry’s _when I’m away_ blanket to take back to their room that night, but for now just throws it over the back of the couch.

It’s just one of those things that Louis appreciates about Harry more than the alpha could ever understand. The way he sleeps with that blanket as long as he’s home for the sole purpose of Louis being able to have something that smells so strongly of him when he’s away. It’s such a kind, sweet thing, and he’s really so appreciative of Harry. He’s the most incredible alpha he could have asked for.

“Hi.” Harry says as he comes back down about twenty minutes later, changed out of his work clothes. He wraps his arms tightly around Louis as he sits beside him and Louis crawls into his lap and faces him with a smile.

“Hi.”

“I missed you, love.”

“I missed you, too.”

“Did you do anything interesting while I was gone?”

“Niall came over and moped about Zayn being gone a lot. Then Liam came over with him and moped that you two got to go to America and he had to stay behind.” Harry laughs, then places two chaste little kisses against Louis’ lips before he responds. Louis feels his heart swell, feels exactly how much love and affection that he really does have for this alpha.

“Sounds like you had an okay time, then?” Louis nods and leans his head against Harry’s shoulder. Something about being enveloped by his alphas scent makes him feel home in ways that being _at_ home never have been able to do. Harry is home in more ways than he could ever possibly describe. He’s safety and warmth and happiness and love all wrapped up into one.

“No.” He whines. “I missed you.”

“I know, baby.” Harry kisses him again and Louis smiles.

“You know it’s not quite as nice getting myself off. Think this might be what I missed the most.” Louis says with a small smirk on his lips as he swivels his hips, feeling the outline of Harry’s soft cock through his sweats. Harry quirks an eyebrow, his hands moving to tighten against Louis’ sides.

“Is that so?” Harry’s voice has gone lower, and Louis just hums. He’s slowly gained confidence over the last few months with his and Harry’s sex life. Talking dirty with Harry isn’t something that really comes naturally, but he’s definitely found that he enjoys it plenty. “Think you should have to do all the work then, since you just missed my cock. Should make you prove how much you missed me.”

Harry always knows exactly what to say to take his breathe away, though. He stills, almost immediately on Harry’s lap, his cock twitching in his pants. He bites his lip and looks at Harry, but he seems almost entirely set on what he’s said. But Louis doesn’t really care to back down from challenges, so, he hums.

“I dunno.” He says, licking his lips and shrugging. “I could just get myself off.”

“But you wouldn’t, would you? You know how much you love being my good little omega, how much you love pleasing me.” Louis feels heat rush to his cheeks at Harry’s words. He nods, meeting Harry’s gaze. His face is soft, though, and he has this little smile on his face that makes Louis’ stomach do a flip. He’s so in love. “But you’d rather me be soft with you, wouldn’t you? Want me to kiss you here,” He runs the tips of his fingers over the side of his neck, right over where his mating spot will be one day. He’s still smiling as he pulls up the hem of Louis’, which is really Harry’s, shirt, tugging the material away from his body. “And here,” He flicks his thumbs over his nipples, making Louis whine again in his throat, his cock twitching to full hardness. “And definitely here,” Harry palms at his arse as soon as he says that, making Louis let out a shaky breathe.

“Take me upstairs?” He says with a pout, jutting his bottom lip out. He thinks it has to be the pout, though, because Harry puts his hands on the bottom of Louis’ arse and lifts him up with ease. Something Louis has loved in the last few months is Harry’s seemingly effortless way he picks him up. Something about it just makes Louis’ omega keen, makes him remember that Harry is here to take care of him in any way that he can. It’s a great feeling.

“I love you.” Harry says, kissing him hard as soon as they reach the room. He sets him down on the bed and Louis just smiles up at him, smiles up at his alpha because he really, really loves him. There’s so much about Harry that he doesn’t feel like he deserves, but Harry reminds him all the time that he does.

“I love you, too.”

“Good?” Harry asks with a soft smile, running his fingertips over the skin of Louis’ stomach. Little things like that remind him why he loves Harry more than anyone else. He always makes sure he’s okay – always asks – even though he hasn’t had a panic attack in almost two months. It means so much more than Louis would ever really be able to voice.

“It’s good. Want you.” That’s when Harry decides to get his clothes off, starts with his sweats and tosses them into the laundry bin, then his shirt. His scent is always the nicest when he’s mostly naked. It makes Louis’ head spin in the best way and makes him get wet faster than he ever has.

“Gonna take these off now, kay?” Louis nods and smiles, then Harry’s pulling his joggers away. He’s not got any pants on under them, since he’d assumed that he and Harry would be naked soon after he got home anyway, and the little, happy glint in Harry’s eyes when he sees that makes him feel plenty good about it. “My beautiful boy. You know you’re the most gorgeous omega in the world, yeah?”

Louis bites his lip, flushing as Harry looks him over one last time before running his thumb over his nipple, making him groan. “Don’t tease me.” He whines. “Missed you. Just want you.” It wasn’t really meant to come out as honest as it did – but he really doesn’t know how else to say it. He’s missed Harry so much over the last few weeks. He always does when he’s gone, but this time he just craves to be close to him again.

“Alright, baby. Alright. You’re okay. I’ve got you.”

He does. He always does.

 

 

HARRY.

Zayn, Liam, and Niall are over a few nights later.

The three of them are sat on the long sofa, but Niall is in Zayn’s lap and their hands are intertwined. Harry had been skeptical at first – when he’d been told that the three of them were going to bond so shortly after meeting – but seeing the way they act together hasn’t done anything to really confirm his suspicion. He’d been worried that Zayn and Liam would regret it, mostly, if they ended up realizing that they were only attracted to Niall physically. But they seem happy. Harry is beyond happy for them, too.

Louis’ in the kitchen, pulling the brownies out of the oven. When Louis had said that he wanted to make brownies, he’d had to gently remind him that he is subjected to random drug tests at work, but then Louis had just smacked him. He thinks he should be concerned, but he doesn’t think he really needs to be.

Whenever an omega is ready to bond, they usually try to “court” an alpha. It makes Harry’s stomach twist with guilt every time he sees Louis baking for him or doing chores around the house – but he just isn’t sure he’s ready yet. Louis hates doing those things, hates cooking and cleaning even more, but his subconscious is telling him that doing those things will make him want to bond faster.

They’ll have to talk about it eventually, but not tonight. Tonight, they’re _going_ to have some fun. He’s completely and totally determined to make sure that they do. He’s attempted to make it a mission to continue doing their guy-nights, but since the three of them have mated, it’s gotten a little bit harder than it ever was. It also doesn’t help that he can tell the way Louis looks at Niall now, the way he is probably jealous of the bond mark.

He looks it, anyway. Harry just knows that Louis is far too nice to ever say anything like that, especially about his best friend.

When Louis comes in, the brownies are cut up into little squares and stacked on a plate. He sets it down on the coffee table and takes his usual seat, half in Harry’s lap and half resting against the arm rest. It all feels perfect.

“So, um,” Liam says with a little smile. “We figured now’s the best time to tell you guys, so, like. Niall is pregnant.” Louis tenses up on Harry’s lap, but he thinks he can only feel it because he’s closer to him.

“Congratulations, Ni!” Louis still says, his tone sounding happy enough.

“That’s really great, guys. How far along are you?”

“I’m only in the first trimester right now, and I know it’s not really advised for me to tell people yet, but I’m just so excited!”

“Yeah, so we’re finally moving out of our flat and into something a little more family friendly, here in the next few months.”

“That’s really awesome, guys.” Harry says. Louis is smiling, but he doesn’t say anything else. Instead, he just leans into Harry. He puts a hand on his thigh, an attempt at reassuring his omega that everything is okay, but he doesn’t know exactly how well it’s going to work.

 

“Do you want to tell me why you’re so upset?” Harry asks, as Louis is stomping around and cleaning up after guys night.

“Because I don’t know how long this – this _thing_ between us is going to last, Harry! Clearly you don’t have the same plans of forever that I do, or else we would be bonded already. You can’t say it’s too soon because Niall and Zayn and Liam are happy, and they all met _after_ we did.” Louis’ bottom lip is wobbling and little tears are collecting in the bottoms of his eyes.

“Come here.” He says quietly and Louis immediately comes over. Harry wraps his arms tightly around his omega, then kisses the top of his head. “It’s not too soon for me to know I want you forever, you’re right. But it _is_ too soon for us to bond. Do you know what happens when new bond-mates have to be separated, Louis? What if I bond you, then two nights later I get called out on a job that lasts three months? Or even three weeks? It would hurt you so badly, Lou, and I just could never forgive myself if that were to happen.”

“So you care more about your job than me?” He asks, that same irritated tone back in his voice.

“ _No,_ no, baby. Not at all.” He sighs. “But I want to provide for you. For our one-day family. I want you and however many little pups we end up having one day to have the absolute best lives I can give for you, without you ever having to step foot back in a place of work full time if you don’t want to. I know you like doing your little part time thing, and I’m always here to support you, but I don’t ever want you to think you _have_ to.” Louis sniffles, almost like he’s starting to understand. “Maybe it’s me. I know you’re ready to bond and I know you’re ready for pups and I know you want everything now – but soon. I promise you soon.”

“How soon?”

“If everything works out, we’ll have a little pup running around in two years, okay?” That makes Louis smile, even though the blues of his eyes are still bright with the lingering tears.

 

Louis comes to work with Harry the next day. Alphas are allowed to take their omegas to their place of work as long as they keep quiet. It used to be a rule that would make him beyond angry, just because it seemed to obviously sexist, but now that he actually gets to do it, he doesn’t mind so much. Louis loves coming to work with him, it seems. He asks a lot of questions and seems really interested in everything that Harry does.

Harry decides to leave early that day, and he and Louis go out to eat. Louis’ got a therapy appointment right after they eat, but he doesn’t mind taking him. Usually it’s Louis’ mum, but he thinks it would be all right to take him every once and a while.

“I think I might be done with therapy, after this.” Harry quirks an eyebrow. After Louis had started taking medications, despite earlier protests, he’d gotten significantly better. “I really can go out in public now, without getting scared. We can have sex now. I feel safe at work. I don’t get nightmares. I think I’m okay.”

“Well, if you think you’re okay, I’ll trust you. But you should talk to your therapist about that, yeah? If they say that you’re good to go, then I’ll never even bring it up again as long as you don’t want me to.”

“Okay.” Louis says with a little smile.

“I’m really proud of you, you know that?” Louis quirks an eyebrow. “I know you don’t believe me when I say it, but it was so brave of you to go see that therapist and it was incredible that you were so willing to open up and let them help you. I’m proud for all the work you’ve put in for yourself to get better. I love you so much.”

“Thank you.” Louis says, a blush high on his cheeks as he looks down. Harry is so, so in love.

 

“My heat is gonna be in a few days.” Louis says with a sigh the next night. He’s on his lap, curled up as _Master Chef_ plays on the telly. Louis’ always had a thing for the cheesy kinds of American shows like that. “I want you to stay with me. If you want to.” Harry kisses the top of his head.

“Of course I want to, love. I want everything with you, remember?” He smiles and wraps his arms around Louis. “You’ve been taking your birth control though, right?”

“Yeah, every day. I know, neither of us are ready for kids. Plus, a kid born out of bond? My mom would murder me.” He says with a little laugh and Harry smiles.

“My good boy.”

 

 

LOUIS.

When he wakes up, he feels like he’s burning. It’s not an unfamiliar feeling – waking up in the middle of heat instead of slowly falling into it throughout the day – but the unfamiliarity comes from the scent of Harry right beside him. He’s never spent a heat with an alpha – but he thinks that’s okay. He trusts Harry to take care of him the same he has all these months – the same way he hopefully will for the rest of their lives.

Harry stirs in his sleep, then his eyes open and he looks right over to Louis. “You smell so nice.” He says, pulling him closer and making Louis preen. “You’re going into heat, aren’t you?”

“Yeah.” He says, cherishing these last few moments of being coherent enough to really be able to answer much of anything from Harry.

“You want me here, right? I can leave if you need me to, Lou.”

“No. Want you.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“Everything.”

“Do you want me to bond you?” Harry asks, his voice small and uncertain, lip caught between his teeth. “It’s really – you know actually that was an inappropriate question. We should talk about that when you’re not going into heat.” Louis hums, then strips his shirt off as the heat starts to get a little overwhelming. He thinks this might be Harry’s fault – that he’s going down so quickly. Having an alpha around makes heats faster. Everything is sped up – including the drop. He’d just underestimated exactly how fast the drop was going to be. “I’m going to go get you some water and something to eat, okay? I’ll be right back, I promise.”

Harry leaves the room right after that, and Louis forces himself to take a few deep breathes. He’s hard already, wet and leaking and it’s so – _embarrassing._ He’s never liked being in heat, always thought it was such an inconvenience and something he never wanted to have. But Harry seeing him like this – he doesn’t want him to. He doesn’t want to be seen in the way that he can’t control himself, can’t think about anything except getting a cock up his arse and he really, _really_ doesn’t want Harry to see him when he’s fucked out and mumbling incoherent little things under his breath.

But he wants to share everything with Harry, at the same time. He knows that forever means plenty of heats and he knows that forever means Harry isn’t going to run off because he begs for his cock – but his face still flames at the thought of Harry seeing him like _this._

He tries not to think of that as he tugs off his sleeping trousers, then his pants, and tosses them away. He’s never felt this overwhelmed so quickly – never felt so needy right at the beginning of falling. But he needs _something –_ anything – so he just wraps a hand around his cock, just for the smallest amount of pressure, and sighs in relief.

That’s when Harry comes back and his scent is so _nice_ and he can’t help the little whine that comes from the back of his throat. “It’s okay, baby, hey, I’m here.” Harry says so softly that Louis barely hears him over the rush of blood in his ears, but his body relaxes. “I’m going to make you come now, to take the edge off, but then I want you to eat something for me, yeah?” He nods, because words don’t seem to want to come out of his mouth right now.

As soon as Harry’s lips are around his cock, Louis shouts. He’s so oversensitive – every nerve ending in his body is on fire – and Harry feels incredible. It’s clear that he’s not trying to tease, not trying to drag this out, because he prods a finger against his already slick hole at the same time.

His legs jerk from the oversensitivity, but then Harry’s hands are holding him still and he comes so hard he sees stars. It’s not enough – nothing’s ever quite enough when he’s in heat – but it makes him feel just a little better. “Thank you.” He says as soon as Harry pulls away, and the dimpled smile he gets in return makes him feel warm.

It’s enough reassurance to remind him that Harry doesn’t think he’s disgusting – that he’s not unsafe here, with the alpha he knows he loves. Everything is perfect and he’s safe and he’s _happy._ He forces himself to sit up, but it’s barely a moment before Harry’s sitting beside him and tugging him onto his lap.

His pupils are blown so wide that the green is just barely an outline and his cock is hard against Louis’ bum, but it doesn’t seem to be bothering the alpha all that much. He grabs the plate that he’d brought and kisses Louis’ nose once. They share the crackers and toast on the plate, Harry stealing a few kisses every few moments, before it’s all gone and Harry makes him drink an entire bottle of water.

It’s natural, instinct for Harry, but it makes Louis feel better than he’d ever thought he would. There was always a part of him that he thought would think an alpha taking care of things like that was strange. But now, as he’s going through it, it feels incredible.

“I’m gonna make you come again, twice, then you’ll get my knot, okay, baby?” He nods, sudden waves of heat making themselves known in his stomach.

Harry lifts him with the same ease that has always turned him on – but its so much more now. He sets him out on the bed, right on his stomach, then places a little kiss on his shoulder, then right over where his bond mark will be, one day.

That’s what makes his breath catch in his throat, and Harry smiles against his skin. “I love you.”

“I love you.” He echoes, and Louis smiles.

Harry choses that moment to lick a firm stripe over his hole, and Louis sees stars. His breathing comes out in harsh pants with each little kitten lick against his hole, little moans coming from his mouth with each movement. Harry’s always been good at eating him out, but now it’s so much different. Instead of being turned off by how desperate Louis is – he seems to be _enjoying_ it. Each whine from his throat only makes Harry hold on to him tighter, makes him hold him still. It’s not long before Louis’ thighs are shaking, trembling and the tight coil of heat in his stomach wins over as he comes for the second time.

Harry is relentless, though. He doesn’t give him even a moment to recover before he presses two fingers right inside of him, practiced ease letting him rub right against his prostate on the first try. He cries out, breathes coming out in pants. “Harry, Harry, alpha,” He whines, “Want your knot, _please,”_ Tears are rushing to his eyes now, just from how overwhelming every sensation all around him is, but then his third orgasm takes him completely by surprise.

He falls, almost completely limp, on the bed after that. “Okay,” he says with a little laugh. “That was totally the heat talking.” These are the little moments of clarity that he cherishes, and Harry laughs right with him.

“It’s okay. Never thought you’d call me _alpha_ though.” Louis’ face flames, but when he turns himself back over, he kisses Harry softly.

“I dunno, _alpha,_ I think I like it.” He says with a smile. “Do you want me to get you off? Or you can come on me if you want.” That catches Harry’s attention and he smiles again. “Think I’ll be okay for the next fifteen or so minutes.”

“What’s the fastest you’ve ever gotten through a heat?” Harry asks as he climbs off the bed and gets his clothes off, tosses them into a bin.

“Six days maybe?” He asks with a shrug. “Four if you count my first one, but I don’t really count that, because everyone’s first is short.”

“Bet I could get you through in three.” Harry says, waggling his eyebrows. He’s got a hand wrapped around his cock now, stroking it slowly, but it seems more like an afterthought. “I’m gonna wait till I can knot you.” Harry says, once he realizes that he’s looking at him.

“Wanna be on my back.” Louis says, but he’s slowly starting to fall back under. He’s never – he’s never been like this. He’s never come up and down so quickly from heat, but the way Harry smells – his scent so clearly aroused – is making his head feel foggy again.

Harry kisses him, soft at first, but it’s not long before he’s licking into his mouth and intertwining their fingers on one hand as he brings Louis’ hand above his head. It’s all so much – but it’s too much in the absolute best way.

 Harry starts with his fingers again, but instead of keeping it at two, he starts with three. He scissors them quickly, brushing the tips against his prostate and making Louis see stars all over again. “Ready, ready,” He says through an exhale, and Harry’s gaze catches his for just a moment.

It’s not until he slides inside of him, all in one swift, quick movement, that Louis feels his entire head go blank. He grabs at Harry’s shoulders, nails digging into the skin there just slightly. It’s so much, so much, too much. “Please.” He says, not even sure what he’s asking for, but he needs _something._

“Such a good boy for me, aren’t you? My good little omega.” Harry always knows exactly what to say. It makes him keen as he feels the way Harry is placing little, soft kisses all over his face and his chest, all while one of his hands is slowly stroking the length of his cock.

As soon as Harry pulls out, then quickly thrusts right back in, Louis almost comes again. He doesn’t think he’s ever come this many times this quickly, but everything is just so overwhelming in the best way. “You can come, baby.” Harry says, placing a little kiss to his lips. “’M still gonna knot you.” After that it’s enough for him to just focus on the pleasure, of the perfect feel of Harry’s cock sliding against his prostate and the incredible feeling of his body _finally_ getting what it’s wanted for all these years. An alpha to take care of him during heat.

He comes three more times before Harry finally knots him, and all he can really do after that is twitch and let Harry hold him. “I love you.” He says through a sated smile. They’re going to be stuck together for a while, he thinks, so he just lets Harry manhandle him into a position that’s comfortable for both of them, and lets himself fall asleep.

 

 

HARRY.

There’s a gentle stream of light coming in through the window, shining on Louis’ face as he sleeps and making him look just as beautiful as Harry remembers from the day they met. He twitches in his sleep, then shifts so that he’s laying on his side, but he stays sleeping.

He can’t help himself as he twirls a strand of Louis’ hair between two fingers, then lets it fall back behind his ear. There are just little puffs of breathe coming from his omega’s mouth, and he looks so perfectly sleep-soft and content. Harry loves these moments, relishes in them, because he can remember exactly why Louis makes him so happy. He makes him happy in every way that an omega ever could. These are the moment where he doesn’t think he deserves such an incredible omega at his side and there are times when he feels right at home, but a slight shift of insecurity has always been the norm between the two of them.

Post-heat Louis is one of his favorite parts of being with him, he thinks, as of that moment. He’s always so soft and clingy and always wants to hold on to Harry like his life depends on it. It’s always been like that, when Harry would come back after Louis would make him leave after a heat, but now it’s so much different. After spending it _with him,_ he feels more connected to Louis in every way. Bonding would be the next step, logically, but they’re both too young, he thinks. Maybe not too young in age, but their relationship is just slightly over a year old now. It’s too soon, but he knows that there is that promise of _one day_ still hanging between them.

Every moment of being with him after he’s finished his heat feels like they’re letting themselves fall in love all over again, like spending even a moment apart would tear everything away from them. These are really the only moments that Harry thinks it would be okay to just bond him now, to promise Louis in the only true way that there is going to be a forever.

“Mm, you’re staring at me.” Louis says, crinkling his nose. Harry just smiles a little. Louis opens his eyes and the blues are so brilliant in the dimly lit room that Harry thinks he might lose his breathe for a moment. He traces his fingers up along his neck, touches at the bond spot that his mark will one day be on. One day.

Louis smiles at the touch, then leans up just enough to kiss Harry softly. “I love you so much.” Louis says and Harry strokes his fingers through his hair once again, kissing his omega on his nose, his face, his forehead, everywhere he can until he’s giggling beneath him.

“I love you too, more than anything.”

 

** Two Years Later **

Sometimes, Harry doesn’t think his life is his own.

When he watches Louis struggling to walk around because his belly is so full of their pup, he can’t help the incredible fondness that blooms in his chest. Whenever he watches the way he sings to his little bump and talks to their pup, he can’t help but remember exactly how in love with his omega he is. He is so, so in love.

After Louis had gotten pregnant, he’d switched positions at headquarters. He’s a supervisor now, to the younger cadets who took his place. Liam kept the same position, since he never _had_ to travel, but Zayn followed Harry to a non-travel position.

They’re all parents now – or at least, soon to be. Louis is due in just under a month, and Zayn and Liam and Niall’s son is turning two in three months.

The two of them decided that Harry’s house was where they wanted to raise a family, so only a few months previous they decided to child proof everything. All of the electrical plugs have covers on them now and anything a pup would hurt itself on has been taken away.

The nursery is the room right beside theirs with light green walls and a soft, foresty theme. They put up twinkle lights to mimic stars on the ceiling and Zayn came in and painted a forest scene on the wall opposite the crib for the two of them.

He doesn’t feel entirely in place, sometimes, just because everything is so perfect. He’d never thought that he would have his entire life turn out okay in the end, but with all of this surrounding him, he knows that he wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading – and if you really enjoyed this story and want to support your local fanfic author, you can [ buy me a cup of coffee! ](https://ko-fi.com/A237HRB)
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